Mrs. Ram’s Jams Reading List for January and February

I am failing miserably at my New Year’s resolutions. (Read more here: Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions) One of my goals was to do yoga everyday, but my mangled foot and its bootiness has shattered that resolution. And while I declared writing was going to take precedence over reading this year, I knocked out 19 … Continue reading Mrs. Ram’s Jams Reading List for January and February

A Poem: The Alarmish Schoolmarmish

nevermind the alarmish schoolmarmish her heresy is harmless mind the armchair activists, firearms alarmists, and smarmy political varmints instead the alarmish schoolmarmish is nothing more than an over-glorified farmwife or barmaid she’s harmless watch the self-proclaimed prince charmings stand atop of the armories and shout out the disharmonious decree this land isn’t free unless the … Continue reading A Poem: The Alarmish Schoolmarmish

A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: A Teenie Weenie Toe-Kini

I bought an itty-bitty bikini for my foot this week.   Seriously. It’s called a Toe-Kini. It’s rather reminiscent of newborn-sized lopsided nude panties.   Allegedly, this Toe-Kini offers ball of foot discomfort relief; instead, it has relieved me of my last shred of dignity.   Who am I kidding? I purchased a Toe-Kini. Has … Continue reading A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: A Teenie Weenie Toe-Kini

A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Death of a Pair of Skinny Jeans

Before bed last night, I had to cut my skinny jeans off my body. Why, you might ask?   My only other option was to drive home from the emergency room pantless. While I support the anti-pants movement more devotedly than any political movement, driving home partially naked in the wet, chilly weather with a … Continue reading A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Death of a Pair of Skinny Jeans

A Little Thing Tale: Language Loopholes

I’ve never fully pegged how Little Thing processes language and puts words together, but it’s definitely Little Thing particular. Often her adages render me into hysterical laughter, head-scratching, or wonderment. For example, she could verbally and correctly name green, blue, and red before she ever said mama.   She also said “port-a-potty” and “teletubby” before … Continue reading A Little Thing Tale: Language Loopholes

Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions

Because my birthday falls on January seventh, my New Year’s resolutions never appear prior to January’s second full week. I’m a firm believer of birthday indulgences. I refuse to let my birthday get in the way of resolutions; therefore, I wait to avoid failure. Because intentional failure is stupid. But unexpected failure happens all the … Continue reading Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions