Mrs. Ram's Jams

- A Teacher Poem: Buzz Words
  
  Posted at 11:17 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 25, 2020
  
  begin with the end in mind, AKA backward design
  Common Core and 504
  ELL, STEM, and IEP are not absentee (But if they were, you’d have to let them make up the work, for sure.)
  collaborate and debate
  Claim retired, and its replacement is assertion; try teaching that to little persons.
  
  rigor
  response
  reflection
  rubric
  will point you in the right (write?) direction
  
  facilitate with fidelity; provide actionable feedback . . . (but don’t call in sick unless you’re having a heart attack)
  Is your summative assessment warm or cold? (Grab a blanket–so we’re told.)
  flip the classroom; personalize learning (to get their brains churning)
  
  What’s the objective?
  Does it align with the standards?
  How does the curriculum get them college and career ready?
  
  Scaffold.
  Differentiate.
  Rigor.
  Peer conversations.
  Rigor.
  Text complexity.
  
  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  
  Build relationships.
  Rigor.
  One to one.
  Rigor.
  Lexile.
  Rigor.
  
  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  
  TRIGGER WARNING
  
  The kids still find it boring.
  
  And by week’s end, the only buzz words we care about are Tito’s, tequila, and Tanqueray (with honorable mentions to happy hour and chardonnay).
  
  Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com
  
  Posted in poems, poetry, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, english teacher, humor, middle school teacher, poems, poems about teaching, poetry, teacher, teaching, teaching middle school, writing
- A Poem About Ulcerative Colitis: The Ouroboros
  
  Posted at 2:01 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 18, 2020
  
  What does ulcerative colitis feel like? Here’s my best poetic attempt.
  
  twisted under blankets to smother
  
  the bushfire
  raging through the
  death adder
  hissing
  flicking its forked tongue
  fangs
  puncturing smoke and blaze
  scarring its wake vermilion, bitter, black
  sloughing its cinders
  a phoenix-masked ouroboros
  
  twisted under fire blankets aching for the rain
  
  As always, invisible illness only remains invisible unless we talk about it. I hope all my fellow chronic pain sufferers find their rain soon.
  
  Posted in chronic pain, poems, poetry, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, chronic illness, chronic pain, ibd, inflammatory bowel disease, invisible illness, poems, poetry, ulcerative colitis, writing
- Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions for 2020
  
  Posted at 12:02 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 11, 2020
  
  It’s that time of year! With our holiday travel, the new decade ushered in, and my 37th birthday (yikes!) over, I’ve found a moment to jot down my goals for 2020.
  
  1. Stop referring to myself as “Mommy” when conversing with Little Thing.
  
  She’s seven. This is going to be a long-overdue, hard habit to break. Considering I’ve mostly conquered my spacing twice after a period at a sentence’s end habit, this resolution is attainable.
  
  image credit
  
  2. Spend less time on social media.
  
  Last month, I read Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport, which calls for deleting social media apps and points out that when Apple created the iPhone, the company never envisioned it becoming a pocket-sized, distracting mini-computer. While I won’t be deleting Facebook and Instagram, I do agree with his underlying argument. I’m monitoring my activity closely, even deleting distracting Facebook notifications and turning off email notifications.
  
  3. Manage my stress better.
  
  A. My ulcerative colitis is barely managed right now. My medicine stopped working, and I’m a week out from an IBD specialist consult with a John Hopkins’ educated gastroenterologist. My UC stresses me out, and stress triggers flare-ups.
  
  B. I’ve got a new curriculum for one of my classes, and I have two preps. I’m existing like a primitive amoebic blob with mush for brains, crossing my pseudopods, I mean fingers, and hoping that everything works out in the end.
  
  C. My school district is building a new middle school, relieving overcrowding for my school and a neighboring one. To staff it, they’re taking teachers from both schools. What does this mean for me? Who knows, but it’s freaking me out! No matter what, it’s the last year I’ll be working with some of my coworkers, furthering my anxiety.
  
  This all boils down to I’m a nervous wreck, and I need a way to cope. I’ve tried anxiety medicine before, but my fibromyalgia causes me to have exaggerated side effects with lots of medications. (For example, I tried to take half of a low dose muscle relaxer with my UC medicine last weekend, my rheumatologist assured me it would be okay, and I was a wet-noodled narcoleptic the next day.) I’m going to find some books on managing stress and look into therapy.
  
  gif credit
  
  What are your 2020 resolutions friends?
  
  Posted in chronic pain, fibromyalgia, parenting, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, kids, new year, new year's resolutions, new year's resolutions 2020, parenting, teaching, writing
- Top Twenty Books 2019
  
  Posted at 2:15 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 2, 2020
  (featured photo credit)
  
  Sorry for my unannounced extended hiatus . . . but life happens (e.g. two teaching preps, new curriculum, remodeling the kitchen, traveling for the holidays, and obsessively listening to Taylor Swift’s Red and Lover albums whilst procrastinating). But I’M BAAAAACCCCKKKK on the 2020 blogging train with one of my favorite yearly posts–my favorite reads of 2019.
  
  And choosing my favorite reads this year proved more difficult than it was the previous year. I’m #sorrynotsorry for the lack of book reviews for my faves, but trying to decide which of the 153 books I read deserved to be ranked sucked my time for this post dry. Quite frankly, there are nearly 40 more books that I’d recommend; if you want to see a full list of my 2019 reads and how I rated them, check out my 2019 book challenge on Goodreads.
  
  Anyway, drumroll please . . . here are my favorite books read in 2019:
  1. Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture edited by Roxane Gay–nonfiction essays–five stars–published 2018
  2. Recursion by Black Crouch–science fiction–five stars–published 2019
  3. Arc of a Scythe series (Scythe, Thunderhead, and The Toll) by Neal Shusterman–dystopian YAL–five stars–published 2016-2019
  4. A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza–contemporary fiction–five stars–published 2019
  5. Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid–historical/contemporary fiction–five stars–published 2019
  6. Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company that Addicted America by Beth Macy–political nonfiction–five stars–published 2018
  7. The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander–political nonfiction–five stars–published 2010
  8. The Library Book by Susan Orlean–historical nonfiction–five stars–published 2018
  9. The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill–middle grade fantasy–five stars–published 2016
  10. The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate–middle grade–five stars–published 2012
  11. The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman–chick lit/books about books–five stars–published 2019
  12. Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Lai–middle grade poetry/historical fiction–five stars–published 2011
  13. The Common Good by Robert B. Reich–political nonfiction–five stars–published 2018
  14. The Trouble with Poetry – And Other Poems by Billy Collins–poetry–five stars–published 2007
  15. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid–historical/contemporary fiction–four stars–published 2017
  16. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb–autobiographical nonfiction–four stars–published 2019
  17. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong–fiction/poetry–four stars–published 2019
  18. Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane–contemporary fiction–four stars–published 2019
  19. The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead–historical fiction–four stars–published 2019
  20. Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou–business nonfiction–four stars–published 2018
  There you have it! I’ll be back next week with my New Year’s resolutions post.
  
  (All book art taken from Goodreads.com)
  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, books in 2019, read, reading, top twenty, top twenty books, writing, yoga
- A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Guide to Grading Papers at Home
  
  Posted at 3:16 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on October 19, 2019
  Although I manage to grade most student-written essays during school hours, inevitably home grading transpires from time to time. Here’s what my grading process looks like when I do lug home heaps of papers.
  1. Sit at the kitchen table, and empty llama tote bag of dreaded essays.
  2. Shuffle all essays into groups of five, piling them into one tower by alternating stacks perpendicularly.
  3. Grab blue Uniball pen. Fancy pens make grading tolerable. Giggle because the word “Uniball” is funny.
  4. Snap a picture of grading setup, witty teacher caption included, and post it to Insta and Facebook stories.
  5. Realize fifteen minutes has passed. Pick up Uniball. Bust into laughter again. Little Thing hollers, “What’s so funny? Can I see?”
  6. Skim first paper while chuckling. Chuckles dissolve into whimpers of distress because the first essay is ghastly, soul-crushing.
  7. Shuffle the broken paper to stack’s end.
  8. Scan the next five essays without connecting pen to paper, and hyperventilating starts. HOW CAN ALL OF THEM BE PIECES OF POO ON A STICK?????? Question career path and meaning of life. Become convinced of worst teacher on the planet status. Stash those five essays to the back of the pile.
  9. Search for best student writer’s essay. Read it. Faith in humanity is restored.
  10. Glance up and around. Am horrified by the dishes mounded in the sink and clutter-strewn house. Decide to tidy up, clean the toilets, and scrub the master bathroom’s floor with a toothbrush.
  11. Register it’s dinner time, have wasted an entire Saturday afternoon, and cook dinner.
  12. Make husband do dishes in order to get back to grading.
  13. Scroll through Facebook on the ChromeBook for an hour instead with the stack of papers as an audience. Their collective judgment is palpable.
  14. Pick up Uniball. Smirk.
  15. Trudge through five essays, finally giving feedback.
  16. Decide grading is more fun with wine. Pour a glass.
  17. Down the glass swiftly like a college student shooting a lemon drop.
  18. Grade five more essays in half the time, because wine. Uniball has the time of his life.
  19. Pour another glass, and lose steam quickly after, only grading two more essays.
  20. Call it a night, and resolve to spend Sunday afternoon at the library grading because Grading. At. Home. Doesn’t. Work.
  21. Tuck a wilted and defeated Uniball into bed, errrr, back into his llama tote bag house.
  22. Decide a blue felt pen is more appropriate for library essay grading. It would be mildly embarrassing to get kicked out for hysterical laughter.
  Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, english teacher, funny, grading essays, humor, middle school teacher, students, teaching, writing
- September 2019 Mini Book Reviews
  
  Posted at 7:41 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on October 4, 2019
  1. Waiting for Tom Hanks (Waiting for Tom Hanks, #1) by Kerry Winfrey–romance/chick lit–three stars–Speaking of waiting, I waited for this digital borrow for weeks before laying my hands on it. Annie, a wannabe screenwriter obsessed with Tom Hanks rom-coms, lands a gig as a director’s assistant when a, insert loud gasp here, romantic comedy starts shooting in her small Ohio town. In a glaringly obvious plot twist, she falls hard for the who-she-perceives-to-be-playboy-jackass lead. It’s a decent read, but you’d be better off snuggling up to a Nora Ephron book or movie instead.
  2. The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials, #1) by Philip Pullman–middle grade/fantasy–three stars–If I remember correctly, I attempted reading this book years ago but had a hard time getting started and gave up on it. I sludged through this time, but dammmmnnnnnnnn. I know this is an unpopular opinion because nostalgia and shit; however, the beginning is hard to sift through and much better middle grade fantasy literature has been written since this book first came out.
  3. The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead–historical fiction–four stars–Not as fantastic as Whitehead’s Pulitzer winning The Underground Railroad, but it’s still a great read about a real-life inspired reform school in Jim Crow Florida.
  4. Washington Black by Esi Edugyan–historical fiction–four stars
  5. Meet Cute by Helena Hunting–romance/chick lit–three stars–Read Waiting for Tom Hanks instead. Also, I hate the term “meet cute.” Ugh. Can we just strike it from chick lit vernacular?
  6. The City of Ember (Book of Ember, #1) by Jeanne DuPrau–middle grade/dystopian–four stars
  7. Graceling (Graceling Realm, #1) by Kristin Cashore–YAL/fantasy–two stars– Who needs this series when Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass series exists? Nobody.
  8. After (After, #1) by Anna Todd–romance–two stars–I first heard about this book while watching a segment on the Today show about Wattpad, an online platform where self-publishing writers can get real-time feedback from fellow users about what they’re writing. After is a Wattpad sensation, and I had to see what all the fuss was about. While it was compulsively readable, it also managed to hit every romance novel cliche on the head. A poor, academically-gifted freshman in college falls in love with a tatted-up bad boy with a serious jealously problem who screws her over countless times. Apparently, Wattpad users like verbal abuse because this book is rife with it and made me really uncomfortable, but it didn’t negate the fact that it was compulsively readable.
  9. Her Royal Highness (Royals, #2) by Rachel Hawkins–YAL–two stars–A disappointment after the first book in the series.
  10. The Perfect Nanny by Leila Simani–thriller–four stars—Because we know it’s a thriller, we know the nanny is the antithesis of a perfect one, but while the title and its cover is predictable for the genre, the storyline is anything but. This translated from French novel is succinct and haunting, hitting all the right thriller buttons.
  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 1 Comment | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, read, reading, writing
- One Sentence Story with Daily Word Prompts: Initial, Umbrage, and Languor
  
  Posted at 9:29 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on September 28, 2019
  
  Luna’s initial umbrage, a superficial amber, at Logan’s languor groaned into rancor, official and raging red, while she, armed with a dust rag, cleaned the house as he bummed on the couch watching the Rams vs. the Bears.
  
  Posted in Uncategorized, writing | 3 Comments | Tagged daily prompt, fowc, initial, languor, one sentence story, ragtag daily prompt, rdp, umbrage, word of the day, word of the day challenge
- A Poem: English Class Will Never Be Baseball
  
  Posted at 3:40 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on September 21, 2019
  
  English class will never be baseball.
  
  Cracking open a book can’t compete with the crack of the bat and the crowd’s cheers for you.
  
  Fumbling through Homer’s The Odyssey will feel more like fumbling a grounder in the bottom of the ninth during a tied game than hitting a homer to win it all.
  
  Throwing words around with a pen and paper to write an essay will never rival throwing warm-up pitches in the bullpen.
  
  The thunk of the catcher’s hand pounding his mitt between curveballs and changeups will never sound like “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” nor The Catcher in the Rye.
  
  Wry puns and satire will never play hardball in your playbook. Three strikes you’re out and triple plays are more important to you than the rule of threes and idioms.
  
  Sliding into second and shaking hands at the game’s end will never be sliding into the second act of a Shakespeare play.
  
  And that’s just fine, sluggers, because English class isn’t supposed to be baseball, but the real MVPs and big leaguers value both.
  
  Photo by Matthew T Rader on Pexels.com
  
  Posted in poems, poetry, reading, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged baseball, blogging, blogs, english class, english teacher, middle school teacher, poems, poems about teaching, poetry, teaching, teaching boys, teaching middle school, writing
- A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Teaching Tale: Reading Comprehension Fails in The Odyssey
  
  Posted at 12:23 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on September 15, 2019
  Currently, I am teaching The Odyssey for the first time in my career (I think. I might have blocked out teaching it like a bad memory; it’s not my favorite text.) As per my curriculum’s instructions, I’ve been working on summarizing, characterization, and conflict with the kids while reading Book One, and this week I assessed those skills using a passage they hadn’t read before.
  
  And while most students rocked the summarizing skill portion of the task, some epically misunderstood these lines from the text:
  
  But all of the suitors broke into uproar through the shadowed halls,
  all of them lifting prayers to lie beside [Penelope], share her bed,
  until discreet Telemachus took command:
  
  (A little context might be helpful as well: Odysseus, the king of Ithaka, is taking an eternity to get home from the Trojan War and people fear him dead. His wife Penelope, a snack, is bedeviled by suitors who have taken up residence in her own home.)
  
  Now think like an 8th grader. How would you interpret this with your nearly teenage brain? Let’s look at some student responses.
  1. “Penelope dies, which leaves the suitors devastated.”
  2. “Penelope’s suitors hope to follow her into her room, but Telemachus does not allow it.”
  3. “The suitors are outraged that Penelope has gone back to her room without them.”
  4. “The suitors are entering Penelope’s room as Telemachus yells at them for destroying his house.”
  5. “The suitors come to ask Penelope if they can sleep next to her . . .”
  6. “The suitors try to get into Penelope’s bed and cause an uproar, but Telemachus stops them.”
  7. “The suitors bombarded Telemachus’s mom by going beside her in her own bed.”
  Y’all. I giggled uncontrollably while grading. Handling questions about why students missed points for these interpretations is going to be brutal. I don’t think a comment like Well, Kayla, you insinuate salacious behavior occurred instead of explaining that individually the suitors wish to marry Penelope will go over well. So please think happy thoughts for me and my sanity when I hand these assignments back.
  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 1 Comment | Tagged blogging, blogs, funny, humor, reading, reading comprehension, students, teaching, writing
- Mini Book Reviews for August 2019
  
  Posted at 2:28 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on September 7, 2019
  Because August means back to school for me, it’s always a hard reading month, so I declared it read nothing of substance, the more royals in books the better, and bonus points if books are set in Europe month.
  - Ghost Kisses by Kellie Babineaux–paranormal romance–two stars–This is my coworker’s second self-published novel. Despite some major editing issues, the storyline is compelling, and Babineaux’s love of New Orleans and Louisiana culture take on a life of their own.
  - The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well by Meik Wiking–nonfiction–two stars–My biggest takeaways are candles, Christmas, and lamps make for a happy life.
  - 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne–romance–two stars–I couldn’t remember the premise of this book while typing in its name nor while reading its synopsis. I only picked it up because I loved Thorne’s The Hating Game.
  - The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan–chick lit/romance–three stars–I made the mistake of recommending this book to a couple of people before finishing it. It’s loosely based on Prince William and Kate’s love story, but it takes a ludicrous turn towards the end, detracting from how promising it was at the beginning.
  - The Royal Runaway by Lindsay Emory–chick lit/romance–two stars–Terrible but readable.
  - The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill–middle grade fantasy–five stars–Everything I’ve ever wanted in a middle grade fantasy read. Witches? Check. A tiny dragon who thinks he’s gigantic? Check. A Swamp Monster? Check. A young girl who doesn’t know how to control her magic? Check. Stunning language and message? Check.
  - My Oxford Year by Julia Whelan–contemporary fiction/romance–two stars–Ella, an educational policy political advisor, receives a Rhodes Scholarship and falls in love with her professor during her time in Oxford. I liked Ella’s eclectic friend group more than her.
  - How Not to Die Alone by Richard Roper–contemporary fiction–four stars–Funny and touching while being mildly dark.
  - Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes–contemporary fiction–four stars–Evvie’s husband died on the day she was going to leave him. Still grappling with guilt a year later, she takes on a tenant, a former MLB pitcher who suddenly started throwing wild pitches instead of strikes, to get a little extra money. The dialogue is funny and well-done.
  - Royals (Royals, #1) by Rachel Hawkins–YAL–four stars–READ THIS INSTEAD OF THE ROYAL WE.
  - The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman–contemporary fiction/chick lit–five stars–This is by far the best book set in a bookshop that I’ve read all year.
  - Natalie Tan’s Book of Luck and Fortune by Roselle Lim–magical realism–3 stars–When Natalie’s agoraphobic mother dies suddenly in San Francisco, Natalie comes home and discovers that Chinatown has changed. With the intent of reopening her grandmother’s restaurant, Natalie tries to breathe life back into the dying community by cooking magical meals for her neighbors.
  As always discussion is welcome, and I’m always looking for recommendations.
  
  All cover jacket art courtesy of Goodreads.
  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged 99 percent mine, abbi waxman, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, evvie drake starts over, ghost kisses, heather cocks and jessica morgan, how not to die alone, julia whelan, kellie babineaux, kelly barnhill, linda holmes, lindsay emory, meik wiking, my oxford year, natalie tan's book of luck & fortune, rachel hawkins, read, reading, richard roper, roselle lim, royals, sally thorne, the bookish life of nina hill, the girl who drank the moon, the little book of hygge, the royal runaway, the royal we, writing
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  - A Teacher Poem: Buzz Words January 25, 2020
  - A Poem About Ulcerative Colitis: The Ouroboros January 18, 2020
  - Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions for 2020 January 11, 2020
  - Top Twenty Books 2019 January 2, 2020
  - A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Guide to Grading Papers at Home October 19, 2019
  - September 2019 Mini Book Reviews October 4, 2019
  - One Sentence Story with Daily Word Prompts: Initial, Umbrage, and Languor September 28, 2019
  - A Poem: English Class Will Never Be Baseball September 21, 2019
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