Mrs. Ram's Jams

- A Reflection on My Thirteenth Year of Teaching
  
  Posted at 1:44 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on June 15, 2019
  In May, I finished my thirteenth year of teaching. (How in the French toast did that happen?) Here are my key takeaways from this school year. (Please excuse the formatting issues. I CANNOT figure out how to fix them.)
  1. Sayonara(ish) technology. My district is fortunate enough to provide devices to every single student in the parish, but this teacher is going back to making the copy machine my long lost paramour. I know paper isn’t sexy and students need digital literacy skills but . . .
  - Technology is the biggest behavior problem in my classroom. Micromanaging 20-25 students with screens for faces is damn near impossible. For starters the kids don’t recognize checking their grades, googling random pieces of information, skimming their inboxes, etc. as off-task behavior. Then there are the students who email back and forth with their friends, play games, or watch YouTube videos. Technology makes classroom management harder, and a student who isn’t paying attention isn’t mastering content. (On a side note: while technology exists that teachers can control what students access during a lesson, our district doesn’t own it on a wide scale yet. I’m hoping to pilot software that combats this issue next year.)
  - Troubleshooting technology problems wastes valuable instructional minutes. Technology doesn’t always work. Sometimes it’s a school wide issue or district issue, but sometimes the students’ individual technology just refuses to behave. Multiple times daily I stop lessons for individual students’ internet connectivity problems, device and website login problems, and the list goes on and on. While teaching troubleshooting techniques and offering my own help remains integral in a digital classroom, sometimes the ONLY solution is sending them to the library for help. And again, this detracts from the lesson. Heck, the student isn’t present for part of it.
  - Research shows that students retain information more when taking notes by hand. Paper engages students more.They can quickly annotate and highlight instead of navigating through cumbersome technology equivalents–that you have to teach them how to use, which takes even more time and varies from program to program (Drummond).
  Disclaimer: I’m not fully eschewing technology, but I’m cutting back big time next year.
  
  Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com
  1. An endless combination of nicknames exist with my last name. My personal favorite from this year? Mrs. Ramengobble. I’m also enamoured with Mrs. Ma’am-a-gost (albeit seemingly redundant). Am I insulted? No. I will respond to anything students call me, unless it’s mean. I feel honored every time a new nickname is bestowed upon me. It fits in with my next bullet point.
  2. Have fun. Let’s be honest, English class content can be disinteresting for the average eighth grader. I recognize my subject’s limitations and balance it by building student relationships and cracking jokes. And whether students like English class or not, they’ll leave my room at the end of year loving me (or convinced that I’m a psychopath), dammit.
  3. Refrain from telling students they’re smart. I don’t think I’ve ever really done this in the first place, but I sure won’t be doing it from now on. At our eighth grade awards night every year, each teacher hands out an outstanding student award and gives a little speech. In almost all of those speeches, every teacher used the term “hard-working” to describe their chosen student. The terms smart and intelligent weren’t used once. Teachers are in the business of growth. We value students who take feedback and run with it. Every single student I taught last year was smart. But not everyone was a hard worker. Or an active participant in their own education. Praising students’ intelligence pigeonholes them. Sometimes they think they deserve an A without working towards it and then lash at you for their earned “B” or “C.” And sometimes it manifests in anxiety where they believe they can’t live up to a perceived expectation (“Should We Stop Telling Kids They’re Smart?”). I will be making more of an effort next year to praise growth daily with my students.
    Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com
  Bring on year 14! (Gulp!)
  
  Works Cited:
  
  Drummond, Steve. “In The Age Of Screen Time, Is Paper Dead?” NPR, NPR, 10 Sept. 2017, http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/09/10/544546911/in-the-age-of-screen-time-is-paper- dead.
  
  “Should We Stop Telling Kids They’re Smart?” NPR, NPR, 24 June 2016, http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=483126798.
  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, reflection, students, teaching, writing
- Hello Ulcerative Colitis My Old Friend
  
  Posted at 11:41 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on June 7, 2019
  I had a colonoscopy today. If you’ve ever had one, you can sympathize with me–they’re the WORST (Okay. Okay. Maybe not the worst, but they’re damn god-awful.)
  
  Why are they the worst you might ask?
  - You can only have a liquid diet the day before. I’m the hungriest person I know, and liquid doesn’t suffice. By ten yesterday morning I had a raging food withdrawal headache. Not to mention the non-solid foods that are allowed like chicken broth (sodium-laden with hidden garlic and onion), sodas (sugar bombs), and popsicles (frozen sugar bombs) I’ve eighty-sixed from my diet because my sensitive tummy handles zilcho processed foods. But I managed to choke down lime Jello and bubbly ginger ale all day (P.S. Little Thing couldn’t handle my dietary complaints yesterday because soda, Jello, and popsicles all day sound delightful to a second grader. Don’t worry, she got her Schweppes, jigglers, and ice lollies on, too.) And you know the worst part? YOU CAN’T DRINK, SUCK, OR SLURP ANYTHING RED OR PURPLE, the two best flavors of all things liquid or gelatinous. Sigh.
  - Your innards need to be vacant. Yep. No intestinal occupancy. I’ll keep this brief because, well, ewwwwwwww, but my doc told me to take 4 laxatives at 3 p.m. and then drink 64 ounces of Gatorade (not fruit punch, harrumph, but lemon lime) mixed with a bottle of Miralax over the course of five hours. Sounds rip-roarin’ doesn’t it? When you’re already feeling shitty, pun intended and hence the reason for the colonoscopy, this adds insult to injury.
  - A doctor puts a camera up your booty. ‘Nuff said. Thank the heavens you don’t remember this part because the anesthesiologist knocks you out.
  But all bad jokes aside, he did discover that I’m having my first relapse with ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease, in twenty years. This flare feels a bit different because it’s a mild form (Mild my ass. I still feel wretched.) called proctitis, only affecting the rectum.
  
  Now I understand that I may have grossed you out and talking about poop and colonoscopies might make you uncomfortable but:
  1. A wise philosopher once said, “Everybody poops.”
  2. Ulcerative colitis isn’t a bad stomach ache, IBS, or annoying diarrhea. It’s a chronic inflammatory bowel disease (along with Crohn’s) that can completely debilitate its sufferers. In high school it made me severely anemic, and I almost had to have a blood transfusion. I know people who have had parts of their colon removed and now have colostomies because of it and others who are no longer able to work because of their symptoms.
  3. When you turn 50, you get to have a colonoscopy too.
  4. And as always, invisible illnesses only remain invisible if we don’t talk about them.
  Posted in chronic pain, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized | 11 Comments | Tagged blogs, chronic illness, colonoscopy, ibd, inflammatory bowel disease, invisible illness, proctitis, ulcerative colitis
- Mini Book Reviews for March, April, and May
  
  Posted at 11:28 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on May 31, 2019
  End of my thirteenth year of teaching? Check. (P.S. How the hell did that happen?)
  End of musical theater and soccer season for Little Thing? Check.
  End of physical therapy? Check.
  End of the house being on the market? No check. But we’re hopeful.
  End of Mrs. Ram’s Jams’s blog pause? CHECK!
  
  Here’s what I’ve read during my absence. Since nada writing happened during my break, these reviews are bare bones (and I skipped reviewing a few *wink wink*). After all, I crammed in 39 books in March, April, and May. The ones I highly recommend are in bold with their book jackets (All book jacket art is taken from Goodreads.).
  
  March
  - Thunderhead (Arc of a Scythe #2) by Neal Shusterman, YAL/science fiction, five stars: This series has yet to disappoint me. I can’t wait until book three comes out in September.
  - The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo, romance/contemporary fiction, three stars: I hate it when book reviews/blubs tell you that a book is like another book when it completely gives away the story’s ending. That happened to me with this one, and I might have enjoyed this read a bit more if it hadn’t been totally predictable.
  - The City of Brass (The Daevabad Trilogy #1) by S.A. Chakraborty, YAL/fantasy, three stars: It drew me in but couldn’t hold my attention. It felt breathy. What happened to conciseness as opposed to needlessly drawn out pages?
  - The Kiss Quotient (The Kiss Quotient #1) by Helen Hoang, romance/contemporary fiction, three stars: I liked this a lot better than The Light We Lost, but this one was way more what I consider to be true romance/erotica. However, it was not anywhere as close to good as The Hating Game.
  - The Fifth Season (The Broken Earth #1) by N.K. Jemisin, fantasy, four stars: Okay, I get it. One of the characteristics of fantasy is a long story, but damnnnnnnnn. I lose interest in a book around the 400 page mark if it’s not phenomenally written. However, this was still a good read.
  - An Unwanted Guest by Shari Lapena, mystery, one star: I don’t think I’ve ever ranked a book with one measly star. This was awful. Lapena tried to emulate Agatha Christy, and it came off like a poorly written book version of the game Clue.
  - Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman, thriller/mystery, three stars: Please someone recommend a more than decent thriller/mystery for me. This genre hasn’t been doing it for me lately.
  - An Anonymous Girl by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen, thriller, three stars: Read The Wife Between Us instead; it was a much better collaboration than this one they put out.
  - The Library Book by Susan Orlean, nonfiction, five stars: One of the coolest things I’ve ever read. It’s the story of a Los Angeles library fire, a love letter to books, and an homage to libraries.
  April
  - The Passage (The Passage #1) by Justin Cronin, horror/apocalyptic, three stars: At first, I was captivated by this vampire apocalypse story, but it’s gargantuan without needing to be. I will not be picking up book 2.
  - The Wicked King (The Folk of the Air #2) by Holly Black, YAL/fantasy, four stars: A YAL faerie and mortal love story done right. Book 3 is out in November.
  - The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #1) by Rick Riordan, middle grade/fantasy, three stars: I didn’t see what all the hype was about.
  - More Than Words by Jill Santopolo, romance/contemporary fiction, four stars: So much better than The Light We Lost.
  - Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams, contemporary fiction, four stars: I love me a good Brit lit read. This was Jojo Moyes-esque but with a narrator who makes terrible decisions.
  - The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson, fantasy, four stars: Read this instead of City of Brass.
  - On the Come Up by Angie Thomas, YAL/contemporary, four stars: Not as good as The Hate U Give. The dialogue and the narration cheese so hard, but ‘tis to be expected with YAL.
  - Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive by Stephanie Land, memoir, four stars: The title explains it all.
  - The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls by Anissa Gray, contemporary fiction, three stars: Boring, but nicely penned.
  - The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, contemporary fiction, four stars: Where has Taylor Jenkins Reid been all my life? A fledgling magazine writer gets the chance of a lifetime to interview an old school movie star, Evelyn Hugo, and gets the juicy scoop on each of her husbands.
  - Coraline by Neil Gaiman, middle grade/horror, four stars: I’m trying to tackle the entire Gaiman cannon, and while I thoroughly enjoyed this middle grade read, I liked The Graveyard Book more. The characters in Coraline looked blurry and read blurry, and that’s probably Gaiman’s point, but The Graveyard Book felt more concrete.
  - Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore (Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore #1) by Robin Sloan, contemporary fiction, five stars: I honestly don’t think this book will be everyone’s cup of tea, but I adored the blend of humor, intrigue, and nerdiness.
  - The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (Montague Siblings #1) by Mackenzi Lee, YAL/historical fiction, four stars: A swashbuckling adventure that I didn’t know I was missing.
  - American Spy by Lauren Wilkinson, contemporary fiction, four stars: A solid, albeit, slow paced, spy story.
  - Good Riddance by Elinor Lipman, chick lit/contemporary fiction, two stars: Bleck. Bleck. Bleck. Good riddance Good Riddance.
  - The Winter of the Witch (Winternight Trilogy #3) by Katherine Arden, fantasy, four stars: So, I adored this entire series. It’s Russian folklore meets history clashing with Christianity. The first two books were lyrical and magical, and this last one had a very satisfying ending but lost its poetical syntax.
  - A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, classics/plays, four stars: I love teaching this play to 8th graders. A love triangle, plays within plays, and fairies. What’s not to love?
  May
  - The Library of Lost and Found by Phaedra Patrick, contemporary fiction, two stars:
  - The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin, contemporary fiction, four stars:
  - His Majesty’s Dragon (Temeraire #1) by Naomi Novik, fantasy, three stars: Can anyone recommend a good dragon story? I thought for sure Novik wouldn’t disappoint, but this wasn’t nearly as compelling as Uprooted.
  - Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, classics/plays, four stars: I hate teaching Romeo and Juliet. I know it’s poetry, but I can’t stand Benvolio. Everytime he gets on stage he repeats EVERYTHING that has just transpired.
  - What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera, YAL/contemporary fiction, four stars:
  - Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan, chick lit/contemporary fiction, two stars: This was supposed to be funny, but it missed its mark. The humor relied on overplayed mommy situations instead of wit. Read How to Party with an Infant instead.
  - Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid, historical-ish fiction, five stars: A sixties rock band story told in an interview format. It has an Almost Famous vibe.
  - The Witch’s Daughter (The Witch’s Daughter #1) by Paula Brackston, fantasy/historical fiction, four stars:
  - How to Party with an Infant by Kaui Hart Hemmings, chick lit/contemporary fiction, four stars: Hilarious, but the narration could use a little tweaking for cleanliness.
  - Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal, contemporary fiction, four stars:
  - The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen, magical realism, three stars:
  - Year One (Chronicles of The One #1) by Nora Roberts, fantasy/apocalyptic, two stars: My first venture into Nora Roberts’s prolific writings crashed and burned. You’ve got your standard apocalypse scenario: a virus knocks out most of the world’s population. Then you throw in fairies, witches, elves, etc. and the worst written dialogue I’ve ever seen on a page (and it’s dialogue heavy y’all) to ultimately reveal a good vs. evil/the chosen one archetype. The ONLY reason I didn’t rate this book as one star is because it was TERRIBLY readable (emphasis on the terribly). I kind of hate myself for even finishing this book and ranking it this highly.
  - The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman, fantasy/horror, four stars: Normally I staunchly eschew from assigning ½ ratings to books, but this book is more deserving of 4 ½ stars. I would have rated it five, but it’s a loosely adult parallel of Coraline. Gaiman’s ability to weave a fantasy, make it seem so real, and write subtle truths into his fiction makes him one of my favorite authors.
  And as always, any and all discussion about these books is welcome. I’ve missed y’all.
  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 7 Comments | Tagged angie thomas, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, candice carty-wlliams, coraline, daisy jones & the six, holly black, how to party with an infant, jill santopolo, katherine arden, kitchens of the great midwest, lauren wilkinson, mackenzi lee, maid, mr. penumbra's 24 hour bookstore, naomi novik, neal shusterman, neil gaiman, queenie, read, reading, robin sloan, tara conklin, taylor jenkins reid, the ocean at the end of the lane, the witch's daughter, thunderhead, what if it's us, writing
- Blog Pause
  
  Posted at 11:11 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 30, 2019
  
  Mrs. Ram’s Jams needs a blog pause because I’m slightly overwhelmed right now.
  
  1. Our house is on the market.
  
  2. I’m starting physical therapy AGAIN next week.
  
  3. Being a good teacher is consuming more of my at home time than it ever has before.
  
  4. Little Thing is playing soccer and doing musical theater.
  
  So because of the above, I’m taking a temporary hiatus. I’ll be back soon, hopefully when school lets out for the summer. 😘
  
  Posted in writing | 6 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, writing
- A Poem: Collecting Dust in the Dungeon
  
  Posted at 5:34 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 23, 2019
  
  I am a day late using this word prompt! My bad! Please forgive me daily word prompt aficionados! Also, it’s a bit of a mess. Like me.
  
  a dungeon of
  
  Birds Killed and Mocked and Thorns
  
  Letters Scarlett O’Hara-ed in the Wind
  
  Gatsby’s Expectations unGrateful
  
  Naked Juliets and suicidal Romeos
  
  Mice, Lennie, and George Orwell
  
  451 flames flickering like 5 Slaughterhouses ignited
  
  Purple Arms will never Color Farewell in a Dark Tower
  
  because they’re collecting dust in the dungeon
  
  Posted in books, poems, poetry, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, books, dungeon, poems, poetry, reading, writing
- A Poem: Her Mom Instead of Her Mommy
  
  Posted at 11:27 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 15, 2019
  
  Have you seen My?
  She’s been lost for a while,
  and I’m in denial
  because I’ll never get to tell her bye.
  
  Once she’s gone, she’s gone forever,
  and I’m not just yet ready for never
  again to have my My.
  
  Oh my my!
  Oh how I cried
  and died
  a little inside
  when I realized My was a thing of the past
  because Mommy is gone and Mom is here at long last.
  
  And My is no longer the end but the beginning, my mom instead of Mommy.
  And oh my my!
  Oh how I cry
  and die a little inside
  because I have to learn to be her mom instead of her mommy.
  
  Posted in kids, parenting, poems, poetry, Uncategorized, writing | 1 Comment | Tagged blogging, kids, parenting, poems, poems about kids, poetry, writing
- A Poem: Stop What You’re Doing and Lock the Door
  
  Posted at 8:55 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 8, 2019
  
  stand at the door
  
  make conversation
  
  Happy morning, students!
  
  check their uniforms
  
  Take off that necklace, please!
  
  No labels on socks; that’s a citation.
  
  the bell rings
  
  go inside
  
  lock the door behind you
  
  take attendance
  
  “Can I charge my ChromeBook?”
  
  You mean, may I charge my ChromeBook? Yes, you may.
  
  “Can I take my doctor’s excuse to the office?
  
  Ummmm, number one–you should have done that before the bell rang. Number two–did you not just hear me say it’s “may” not “can”? Sign out. And somebody go lock the door.
  
  submit attendance
  
  read announcements
  
  knock knock
  
  go answer the door and lock it behind you
  
  continue reading announcements
  
  knock knock
  
  stop what you’re doing and answer the door and lock it behind you
  
  go over the objective
  
  overhead intercom interrupts–“Can you send So-and-so to the office?”
  
  So-and-so, stop what you’re doing, sign out, and go to the office. And somebody please go lock the door behind her.
  
  model your thinking
  
  knock knock
  
  Somebody, stop what you’re doing and go answer the door. And don’t forget to lock it.
  
  students work on group work
  
  take a student’s ChromeBook because he’s playing games
  
  admonish another for for using hers as a mirror
  
  “Hey, my ChromeBook’s frozen!“
  
  And? That’s a statement. If you want help, please ask a question.
  
  “Can I go to the library to get my ChromeBook fixed?”
  
  Did you try to trouble shoot? Did you turn it off and back on?
  
  continue to monitor the students
  
  “It still won’t work.”
  
  Take it down to the library. Sign out.
  
  stop what you’re doing and lock the door
  
  they’re finally working
  
  sit down at your desk
  
  check your email
  
  check exit tickets
  
  check your coffee breath
  
  pop a mint
  
  field questions from your desk
  
  decide that’s useless
  
  they’re restless
  
  help them
  
  make them laugh
  
  get them back on task
  
  knock knock
  
  This is ridiculous. said under your breath
  
  stop what you’re doing and answer the door
  
  “You look mad. Can I tell you a joke?”
  
  ignore the remark
  
  forget what you’re doing and what day it is and your middle name
  
  take a deep breath to recenter yourself
  
  hold a discussion
  
  overhead intercom interrupts–“Lock down! Lock down! This is a lock down! Active shooter! Active shooter!”
  
  Students, get in the corner. Be quiet.
  
  check the blinds to make sure they’re drawn and swipe your phone and your laptop from your desk and turn off the lights and open the cabinet door to block the view from the classroom door and huddle on the floor next to your students and send an everyone’s-accounted-for email
  
  shush the children
  
  Moment of Clarity.
  
  The. Door. Isn’t. Locked.
  
  Crawl on the floor.
  
  Reach up.
  
  Cold lock in your sweaty fingers.
  
  Twist it as as someone pounds on the door.
  
  Students whimper.
  
  Look up. See a cop.
  
  His glare, a condescending reprimand.
  
  Because even though you stopped what you were doing, you forgot to lock the door.
  
  The overhead intercom interrupts–“All clear. All clear. It was only a drill.”
  
  but you know that the only thing that’s clear is the drill of your beating heart and your lesson is ruined and you’re close to tears because the only thing that’s important anymore is having your door locked
  
  Posted in fibromyalgia, kids, poetry, teaching, Uncategorized | 6 Comments | Tagged blogging, poems, poems about teaching, poetry, teaching, writing
- Mini Book Reviews for February 2019
  
  Posted at 12:39 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 2, 2019
  Well. It’s happened. I screwed up my I-must-write-my-mini-book-reviews-as-soon-as-I-finish-books New Year’s resolution. I didn’t pen a single one in February. I blame the flu-like virus that made me miserable last week, Little Thing’s flu bout, two out-of-town friends coming to visit, and sheer laziness.
  
  Oh well. At least I read 13 books? And February is a short month. Huzzah!
  
  Here’s my February reading list:
  - All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin: Easy peasy breezy read. I’ve always enjoyed Giffin.
  - Bird Box by Josh Malerman: Do I even need to review the book since everyone’s seen it on Netflix? I refuse to watch it, but I sure as hell loved reading it.
  - The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton: This. Book. Killed. Mrs. Ram’s. Jams. Seven. Times. I hated it. It was 200 pages pages too long and hard to follow.
  - The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: The best thing about this book is its gorgeous cover. I love magical realism, but I haven’t encountered a spectacular YA one yet. After Leigh’s mother commits suicide, Leigh’s convinced her mom has turned into a bird. Leigh also talks and thinks in colors. Her best friend constantly asks her, “What color”? By the end, I was color blind and gagged at every pretentious color mention.
  - The Common Good by Robert B. Reich: Reich argues that America has lost sight of its founding ideals. I wholeheartedly agree with him.
  - Always and Forever, Lara Jean (To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before #3) by Jenny Han: Lara Jean for life! Book 3 was better than book 2 but super predictable.
  - Without Merit by Colleen Hoover: I’ve not had much luck with Hoover. I picked this up because I thought it was her rather well-reviewed suspense novel, but it wasn’t. Sigh.
  - Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Lai: This middle grade poetry read stunned me. Ha and her family evacuate Saigon during the Vietnam War and find safe harbor in Alabama.
  - The Trouble With Poetry–And Other Poems by Billy Collins
  - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: Romance is my least favorite genre, but I loved this book. Lucy and Joshua’s repartee was hysterical.
  - Scythe (Arc of a Scythe #1) by Neal Shusterman: YAL gold. For realz. In the dystopian future, people live forever, but for population control, scythes select people to be killed.I haven’t had this much fun reading a dystopian novel since Red Rising.
  - My Favorite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren: After finishing The Hating Game, I thought to myself: Hey maybe I do like romance novels. I’m going to try another one out. Bad choice Mrs. Ram’s Jams. Bad choice.
  - The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne: It’s no secret that I eschew reading World War II and Holocaust literature, but I teach this novel in 8th grade ELA. And it breaks my heart every damn time.
  What are you reading? And as always, conversations are welcome!
  
  (All book art is taken from Goodreads.com.)
  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, read, reading, writing
- Chronic Illness: My Bad Experience with Plaquenil
  
  Posted at 1:43 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 23, 2019
  
  At my biannual rheumatologist appointment in December, my doctor suggested I try the drug Plaquenil. Not only does it treat malaria, it also helps rheumatoid arthritis and Lupus. I have none of the aforementioned diseases but have positive ANA and other autoimmune red flags (sans a diagnosis). He warned it’s a well-tolerated drug but slow acting, taking about three months to kick in.
  
  At our visit’s end, he handed me informational printouts about it for homework and told me to call him when I made a decision.
  
  When I got home, I skimmed and scanned the side effects and the standard fare was presented: upset stomach, headache, rash, etc. One of its terrifying side effects is it can cause serious eye damage if taken for long periods of time. I conducted further research via Google, but concluded it didn’t seem overwhelmingly scary besides that whole hey-you-might-lose-your-vision thing.
  
  I talked to a friend who has Lupus and another who has RA who both take it. They said it mildly agitated their stomachs but overall had positive results.
  
  I deliberated over my decision. In general, I don’t tolerate medicines well, which is a lesser known fibromyalgia symptom. I don’t even take fibromyalgia medicine because it makes my muscle pain worse, causes extreme gastrointestinal distress, or gives me the spins.
  
  But I trust my rheumatologist, and I gave him the go ahead to send in the prescription. I started popping my 200 mg pill daily.
  
  A mean a girl can dream that there’s a miracle drug for her, right?
  
  Five weeks into treatment, the backs of my arms started itching. Normally this isn’t too concerning. I have a tendency to get an I-inadvertently-consumed-something-with-wheat-in-it-rash in that exact spot. By Saturday though, my knees were bright red with clustered, itchy bumps. It kept me up Saturday night, and Sunday morning it spread to the back of my legs.
  
  When I pulled out my pill bottle that morning, it clicked. The Plaquenil had to be causing the rash.
  
  I sent a message to my doctor. Apparently because it’s a slow acting drug, it can take weeks for side effects to kick in–ughhhhhhh.
  
  Goober that I am, I thought as soon as I stopped taking the medicine the rash would go away. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. It continued to get worse all week. Benadryl didn’t help.
  
  Friday morning, the rash had transmogrified into full blown hives up the back of my right leg. Lucky me! An allergic reaction!
  
  I hauled myself to a step-in clinic at the local hospital where the nurse practitioner explained that since I took the drug for six weeks it would take six weeks for it to get out. She gave me steroids for the hives and told me they could come back, which they did. Two days ago. So much ugh.
  
  Look, I realize I’m lucky; I had a mild allergic reaction. But now, I’m even warier of starting new medications–particularly if labeled as slow acting. Who wants side effects, let alone delayed ones, or even delayed allergic reactions? Who wants to be dealing with hives for six weeks (especially when there’s no honey and nary a queen bee)?
  
  I’m aware that was a bad joke. Deal with it. It made me forget I have hives for a split second. At this point, I’ll take what I can get.
  
  Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
  
  Posted in chronic pain, fibromyalgia, Uncategorized, writing | 3 Comments | Tagged allergic reaction, blogging, blogs, chronic illness, fibromyalgia, hives, invisible illness, plaquenil, positive ana, writing
- A Poem: Little Thing Gets the Flu Haiku
  
  Posted at 1:02 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 16, 2019
  
  On top of a poo-on-a-stick week, we won the flu lottery! And by we, I mean Little Thing. Poor sweet Little Thing is puny. I hate it. Here’s a synopsis (in haiku fashion nonetheless) of today’s events.
  
  The thermometer
  beeps at one hundred and two.
  No wonder she’s chilled.
  
  Climbing into bed
  with me, she proclaims, “I’m fine!”
  “Yeah right, tiny one.”
  
  A petite furnace
  ignites her forehead and limbs,
  aflame with fever.
  
  Tissues and TV
  flushed cheeks and pillow snuggles
  beneath her blanket.
  
  Her granny arrives
  to take care of her and bring
  her to the doctor.
  
  A text says: it’s flu.
  Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
  Poor sick Little Thing.
  
  To Tamiflu or
  not to Tamiflu–that
  is the question now.
  
  Considering she
  gags on liquid Tylenol
  we will pass. No thanks.
  
  Time to stock up on
  Sprite, pain reliever tablets,
  and so much Lysol.
  
  Off topic: I did have a bright spot today. A student gifted me a temporary tattoo of a llama blowing a bubble. He might have pilfered it from his little sister’s Valentine’s Day gift box, but whatevs. It’s adorable, and it’s lifted my spirits every time I’ve looked at it today.
  
  Posted in kids, parenting, poems, Uncategorized, writing | 1 Comment | Tagged blogging, blogs, haiku, kids, parenting, poems, poetry, writing
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