We've been state testing for three consecutive days. Here are some haiku poems that I wrote based on thoughts pondered during the tedium of testing. (I took liberty with true haiku format--expect similes, they're not about nature, nor are they imagery rich.) 1. I forgot to bring a book for after testing so haiku it … Continue reading Poetry: A State Testing Haiku Anthology
Why do they disrupt? Perhaps to watch me erupt like a volcano. corrupt an innocent shoulder partner with teenage renegade misconceptions. pontificate abruptly to the class about the merits of mayo. voice a once internal monologue aloud rupturing the lesson into regression. Their urge to interrupt declares … Continue reading A Poem: Why Do They Disrupt?
I shuffle past an Orion worthy constellation of stuffed animals, legos, and dolls strewn across her bedroom floor, careful not to make a sound, even though my end goal is to wake her. It should be criminal to have to wake a sleeping child this early for school. Ten to six in the morning is … Continue reading A Little Thing Tale: The Pat Pat Pat
Apparently, I’m a serial killer. First I murdered my skinny jeans (A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Death of a Pair of Skinny Jeans). Now, my homicidal tendencies have migrated from trendy apparel to kitchen appliances. I know I’ve talked smack about my dishwasher previously (Poetry: An Unlikely Archnemesis), but I didn’t mean to kill … Continue reading A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: The Dishwasher’s Demise
Maybe the problem with politics is . . . pronouns. Isn’t politics supposed to be pro-nouns? pro-people? pro-places? pro-things? pro-ideas? It’s more like anti-nouns. anti-people. anti-places. anti-things. anti-ideas. It’s he said versus she said. This versus that. Them versus us. You versus me. But who is he? Who is she? What is this? that? I’m … Continue reading A Poem: Political Pronouns
Please explain to me WHY MY HUBCAPS KEEP FALLING OFF!!!! [after the fact stage directions: Mrs. Ram’s Jams says this with the same cadence, intensity, and emotion as Lloyd Christmas’s infamous quote, “Our pets heads are falling off!” She ends in a flailed, crumpled heap upon the ground, spent from her effort.] This is not … Continue reading A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Hubcap Harangue
I am failing miserably at my New Year’s resolutions. (Read more here: Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions) One of my goals was to do yoga everyday, but my mangled foot and its bootiness has shattered that resolution. And while I declared writing was going to take precedence over reading this year, I knocked out 19 … Continue reading Mrs. Ram’s Jams Reading List for January and February
nevermind the alarmish schoolmarmish her heresy is harmless mind the armchair activists, firearms alarmists, and smarmy political varmints instead the alarmish schoolmarmish is nothing more than an over-glorified farmwife or barmaid she’s harmless watch the self-proclaimed prince charmings stand atop of the armories and shout out the disharmonious decree this land isn’t free unless the … Continue reading A Poem: The Alarmish Schoolmarmish
I bought an itty-bitty bikini for my foot this week. Seriously. It’s called a Toe-Kini. It’s rather reminiscent of newborn-sized lopsided nude panties. Allegedly, this Toe-Kini offers ball of foot discomfort relief; instead, it has relieved me of my last shred of dignity. Who am I kidding? I purchased a Toe-Kini. Has … Continue reading A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: A Teenie Weenie Toe-Kini
I’m a teacher. I’m not a firefighter, police officer, or soldier. I’m not a firefighter although I fight fires everyday. They can start at home, in the hallway, or in the classroom. I try to put them out before consumptive doom. It’s my job to keep the flames away. I’m not a police officer although … Continue reading A Poem: A Teacher’s Line of Duty
