trouble trouble troubleshoot nobody can hear me i've been speaking but i'm on mute trouble trouble troubleshoot caydon let the Zoom because his Chromebook needed to reboot trouble trouble troubleshoot amira's not paying attention because she's choosing a filter to make her look cute trouble trouble troubleshoot nobody can hear me i've been speaking but i'm on mute trouble trouble troubleshoot owen! turn off your camera! your dad just walked by in his birthday suit! trouble trouble troubleshoot mj's Google Doc won't load so he can't do the lesson on greek and latin roots trouble trouble troubleshoot i forgot to click record at the beginning of class hope i'm not slapped with a lawsuit trouble trouble troubleshoot Nobody can hear me. I've been speaking, but I'm on mute. We're in trouble, trouble, trouble. Shoot! Nobody can hear us. We've been speaking, but we're on mute. We're in trouble trouble trouble, bang! trouble shots fired! bang! all the teachers are tired trouble shots fired! bang! am i too young to retire? We're in trouble, trouble, trouble, shoot! Nobody can hear teachers. They've been speaking, but they're on mute. We're in trouble! Shots fired! Bang! We're in trouble! Don't shoot the messenger! Bang! The traditional classroom is dead. It isn't funny. Time of death: 2020. We're in trouble, trouble, trouble. Shoot!
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Tag: poetry
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A Teacher Poem: We’re in Trouble, Shoot!
Posted at 9:34 am , on September 26, 2020
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A Few Haiku in Memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Posted at 10:10 am , on September 19, 2020
She fought for justice for all, against mustaches. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Dissent collars and statement earrings and glasses. The right in the world feels so very wrong today. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Thank you for all you have done. We'll be persistent.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ruth_Bader_Ginsburg_2016_portrait.jpg -
A Teacher Poem: Invisible Students
Posted at 8:17 am , on August 22, 2020
invisible students cameras clicked off and microphones muted can't even mark them truant because i'm teaching invisible students invisible students masks hiding their faces making them feel stupid and like mutants because i'm teaching invisible students who don't want to talk because nothing is normal the People in Charge have stopped offering improvements because we're teaching invisible students living in the paranormal ghosted translucent the People in Charge are being imprudent because They don't care that we're teaching invisible students
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A Poem: Thin Air
Posted at 10:23 am , on July 18, 2020
you’re thin air
i need an oxygen mask
because you’re blowing thin air
i gasp and i gasp and i gasp
and i sighbecause i can’t breathe your thin air
you’re breathing in lies and breathing out lines
i can no longer ignore the signs
when you’re weaving thick lies out of thin airyour thin air is under pressure
your thick lies are under pressure
think you can press my face into the gas
for your pleasurei can’t breathe because you’re pressing my face into the gas for your pleasure
i’m under pressure
i’m under pressure
and i’ve got one question to ask
for good measurehow can you be so cold when you’re full of hot air?
i gasp and i gasp and i gasp
and i sighif i stay here a moment longer
i’ll disappear into thin air
but my lungs are getting strongerMy lungs have gotten stronger.
I won’t stay a moment longer.Because I can’t breathe your hot air.
No more oxygen masks
because I’m through with thin air.You’re out of thin air.
My lungs have gotten stronger.And you’ve disappeared into thin air.
Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com
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A Poem: Me Me Me Meme
Posted at 9:50 am , on June 27, 2020
Me me me meme
me gets me news from a memeYou you you youth
you ignore the truthWe we we Westerners
we look like misinformed questionersMe me me meme
open the economy
You you you youth
keep hanging out in groups
We we we wealthy
don’t care if the masses are healthyMe Me Me Me
and
You You You You
and
We We We Weare fucked.
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A Poem: When It’s Time to Kneel
Posted at 8:09 am , on May 30, 2020
When it’s time to Kneel, Keep in mind how black men Kneeling in peaceful protest made you feel.
When it’s time to Kneel, Keep in mind how history Kindles and spins a white, privileged wheel.
When it’s time to Kneel, Keep in mind how mothers Keening over their murdered black sons’ graves is real.
Because it’s never time to kneel on a black man’s neck on the asphalt. It’s not their fault.
Because when are you going to stand up instead of just kneel?
Because it’s time for you to stand up, Neil.
Stand up, Neil.
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A Poem: I Know More Than You
Posted at 9:26 am , on May 9, 2020
I don’t know who or what to believe anymore
so I’ll just put My trust in youtube folklore
the experts are crooks
who want Me to read books
and wear a mask
what an unpatriotic task
you can’t tell Me what to do
because I’ve got google and it knows more than you
I’ll keep My gun on My hip
and call you a dip shit
for believing in science
screw your feminist liberal defiance
you can’t tell Me what to do
because I’m a man and will always know more than you
everything will go back to the way it was before
just go ahead and reopen the economy’s door
because your life doesn’t matter as much
as Me being able to get a decent haircut and such
you can’t tell Me what to do
because I will never let you forget that I know more than you
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A Poem: Sunshine and Turpentine
Posted at 10:03 am , on April 11, 2020
On an indigo whim,
she sweeps her soul into sunshine and turpentine,
whispering its bouquet to the wind.It butterflies like dandelion fluff,
parachuting on the breeze.While teasing the ground,
with ambrosial and noisome sounds,
it harmonizes into hymns of him–
a heady elixir that grieves the miles, the years, the bigger picture–
and lands on his sleeve.He breathes in her song, her scent–
what went wrong and what it all meant–
and breathes out: I was never enough.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
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Why I Love and Hate Teaching Romeo and Juliet
Posted at 3:34 pm , on February 22, 2020
Psssttt. Here’s a secret. This English teacher hates Romeo and Juliet more than the Montagues and Capulets loathe each other. (I know. Gasp. Shocked emoji face. Call Karen in HR and fire me right now.) And because it’s entrenched in the freshman canon, I will never escape its overtly romantical clutches as long as I am teaching English I.
Why do I hate Romeo and Juliet and teaching it?
- Romeo, a whiny lover boy ruled by his teenage emotions, is my least favorite Shakespeare character. I spend the entire time wanting to smack him and talk some logic into him.
- Benvolio sucks too. Whenever something big happens on stage, Benvolio summarizes the just-happened events for new-to-the-scene characters.
- The way Romeo and Juliet talk to one another makes me gag. Love stories aren’t my Ram Jam.
- The students harp on the fact that Juliet is 13 and never recover from it. They also debate Romeo’s age endlessly (The text never gives it.). They talk about this the ENTIRE time we’re reading.
- It’s full of sexual innuendo, and I teach middle school. Need I say more?
- I’d much rather tackle The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest, Twelfth Night, Othello, or Macbeth.
And while I do lather on the Romeo and Juliet hate thick, I love teaching it for almost the same reasons I despise teaching it.
- I take my hate and shout it from the desktops from the beginning. It’s simple really. I let the kids know I hate Romeo and Benvolio. I don’t tell the students why. I string them along and build interest to hook them, revealing tidbits here and there why I hate Romeo and Benvolio as the acts unfold. I use my Romeo hate to teach characterization. I use my Benvolio hate to teach summarizing. I make my hate passionate, fun, and refreshing instead of letting it bring my lessons down. Frequently, the kids hate Romeo too, and we bond through our mutual dislike.
- Even though it’s a love story and the ooey-gooey language makes me cringe, I appreciate the poetry. We analyze the heck out of the figurative language and poetic structure of Romeo and Juliet’s dialogue. For example, when Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time, they actually start rhyming together in their religious imagery-filled banter and wind up creating a shared mini sonnet, which is pretty freaking cool from a structural standpoint.
- The kids relate to the teenage emotions running rampant throughout the text even though they pretend that all of the kissing mortifies them. We discuss why it’s important to not be ruled by emotions and how to consider situations logically.
- The kids have zero knowledge of Elizabethan theater and England before they start reading and are fascinated by what they learn. The fact that it was illegal for women to act so men played all the parts blows their minds. They’re horrified and enthralled when they discover women could get married at twelve years old and were sometimes married to much older men. They have no concept that modern medicine did not apply back then, women often died in childbirth, and child death rates were high. They’re floored when they realize Nurse was Juliet’s wet nurse and that the word nurse etymologically stems from a Latin word meaning “to nourish.”
- On the day we start Act I Scene 1, I tell them Shakespeare is a dirty old white guy to prepare them for the puns and hook them into the play. You might find this method a little shocking, but have you read this play? It’s full of inappropriate jokes, and while it might have gone over your head when you were in high school, my kids understand what they’re reading. If I didn’t prepare them for the dirty jokes, my lesson could crash and burn in a million different ways. They appreciate being treated like adults. When I handle it this way, it minimizes the puns, and we’re able to focus on the storyline and the structure.
- Even though Romeo and Juliet isn’t my favorite play, I love Shakespeare and theater. I’m able to channel that love into a play I hate (My only love sprung from my only hate! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.). I’m in my element when I’ve got the bard and a script in front of me, and the students see the best me when this unit rolls around each year.
What are some texts you hate but you have to teach? I’d love to hear! I’d also love to know why and what you do to combat your hate to make interesting lessons.
(Also, another shocker, I’m not a huge fan of To Kill a Mockingbird—but that’s a whole other blog post.)
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A Poem: The Sated Double Standard
Posted at 3:09 pm , on February 15, 2020
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