oh, her? she's nobody's hero. she's just a teacher. she couldn't do. isn't that how the saying goes? to be honest, i don't like her. she's got too many opinions. and is indoctrinating our children. she forces kids to read banned books. and even asks them to read on their own. did you hear she has a pride flag up on her wall? her political views have no god-damned business being in the classroom. she had the audacity to give my girl an F on an essay that she worked really hard on. she wrote my kid up, because according to her, he said something racist. my kid would never do anything like that. he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. so instead of talking to her about it, i went straight to the school board to get her fired. she no longer works for the school district, thanks to me. she told her students that she won't answer emails before or after school. she complains too much on social media about how hard her job is. she's the prime example of why teacher ends with a her instead of a him. Oh, but her? She's a hero. Because she has the guts to bring a gun into her classroom. Oh, but her? She's a hero. I couldn't stop crying when I heard she sacrificed herself to save those kids from that school shooter. What a tragedy. I can't believe this keeps happening. Oh, her or hero? A teacher can't be both. She's always the villain unless she has a gun or gets shot by one.
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Tag: poems
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A Teacher Poem: Oh, Her
Posted at 4:23 pm , on June 12, 2022
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A Poem: Pressure
Posted at 10:28 am , on October 9, 2021
all of her buttons all of her luck were pressed she's distressed a mess because the world refused to be impressed she was so sure she had it under control she was so sure she could handle the rigmarole but all of her buttons her luck were pressed she had no outlet to decompress her pleasure vanished sunk like the Titanic no boat just icebergs stuck in the freezing water and trying to stay afloat because all of her buttons her luck were pressed into antidepressants and all the world had to say was she's her own biggest aggressor and all the world had to say was that there's a reason why press rhymes with stress and all the world had to say was all she has to do is stop pressing her luck all she has to do is press the button press enter press the lever and just ignore the pressure.
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A Poem: Saturday Morning in the Burbs–Dad With Nothing to Do Edition
Posted at 9:59 am , on June 12, 2021
It's Saturday morning in the burbs, and I've got nothing to do. The kids don't have soccer or baseball. It's too early to barbecue. I cut the grass yesterday. I already own everything from Lowe's. There's no College GameDay until the fall. I know! I can hook the pressure washer up to the hose! I'll stand in my driveway in a muscle tank and backwards cap and whiten the concrete while I listen to rap! And before I know it, two hours will have flown by. I'll crack open my second beer of the day to combat the ten a.m. heat and think to myself: It's only June. What the hell am I going to do in July?
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A Poem: Painfully Pretty
Posted at 12:06 pm , on March 20, 2021
the morning hues state fair cotton candy blue and pink
and stops me and my Vans in my tracks
makes me blink hard and think
how can the world be so painfully pretty
i riffle through my rusty locker at school
while staring at the brunette with the sharp Cara Delevingne eyebrows and cheekbones
who sparkles glossy cool versus me, a murky cesspool
and i wonder what it's like to be so painfully pretty
i skip English class and beeline to the bathroom
because iambic pentameter and two star-crossed lovers
would only weight sighs to my gloom and we both know they die anyway in the tomb
i just can't stomach poetry that painfully pretty
i size myself up in the cracked mirror
wiping away the tears, i fall in and disappear
because everything but me is painfully pretty -
A Poem: Mistake
Posted at 8:56 am , on January 30, 2021
Miss, take my hopeful heart and eat it à la carte. This part, this art, this ache. There's too much at stake. Stake it to your kiss. Stake it to your abyss. This. Miss, take it for my sake-- before you find out I'm a selfish rake. Eat it raw. Don't let it bake. Miss, take my hopeful heart-- before you realize it's a mistake.
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A Teacher Poem: Going Through the eMotions
Posted at 10:46 am , on December 19, 2020
plaster a big smile on your face
even though it's hidden by your mask
wish the mask covered up your eyes too
because you're end of the school year tired but it's only December
because it's hard to fake enthusiasm with your retinas and your pupils
remind your in-person pupils, all twelve of them, to keep their space
don't touch his desk
or his backpack
or his breakfast
pinch your nose and close your eyes while you tell him for the umpteenth time to get his mask over his nose
lose your mind as he covers his eyeballs with it
because the sass, the audacity, is too much
because you're jealous
begin going through the eMotions
start your Google Meet
check you COVID screening spreadsheet
tell a student that if she doesn't turn her camera on, she will be marked absent
she doesn't
choke on your sigh of frustration
because she never listens
because you don't know if she's with her mom or her dad
because she might not even be there
because you don't know if she has anything to eat today
be thankful that the resolution sucks so the kids at home don't see the tear leaking out of your left eye
but the resolution IRL works just fine
nobody sees anyway because they're teenagers who have screens for faces
you're overwhelmed by going through the eMotions
put on a dog and pony show, a three ring circus, an Oscar worthy performance to try to get anybody to talk during the lesson
but the only thing you can hear is the clack clack clack of the keys
let them type their exit tickets while you recall pen and paper with nostalgia, the worst emotion of them all
work on fully digitizing a week's worth of lessons
turn pink and then red when you remember you can't use anything you've spent hours creating next school year because the curriculum is switching for the second time in two years
angry pound the keys as you type with a force that could shatter
your fingernails
your desk
the county
because you're tired of going through the eMotions
sift through Google Classroom for an assignment that he completed three weeks late that he expects to be graded RIGHT NOW
and so does his mom
she's only emailed you five times about it
you've responded once in return
the assignment's only half done
like the school year
like your sanity
like your self-esteem
ignore the other late work emails
rest your forehead on your desk
stare at your lap and breathe, breathe, breathe deep
look up to see if anyone witnessed your saga, your mental break down, your calamity
but they're teenagers who have screens for faces and Ray-Bradbury-is-rolling-over-in-his-grave
AirPods
because they're only concerned about their own emotions, not yours
and you're marrow-deep tired of going through the eMotions
so
you hand them a book--tactile, paper, cover, spine, pages to turn, black ink
and they stare at it like their mom put Brussels sprouts on their plate
when you've actually given them chocolate cake
because you're tired of eMotions
you smile, a real one this time, that lights up your bloodshot eyes
because books
because the bell rang
because it's finally break
and you've got two weeks off from going through the motions
try to turn off your inner monologue as you power down your Dell
but you know that you'll spend your entire break
going through your emotions -
A Poem: A Pandemic Christmas Carol
Posted at 10:02 am , on November 28, 2020
no fear no fear the new christmas cheer! let's pretend the pandemic is as real as rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! they want to cancel christmas? now they've really gone too far! all I want for christmas is to go to the bar! how could grabbing a drink with my buddies send grandma to the e.r.? stop living in fear the new christmas cheer! but 2020 has lasted an era! I deserve to put on my earrings and some mascara and go ring in the new year with sara, tara, and kara! no fear no fear 2020 has spit in our eggnog and beer! fa la la la la and are we listening? why are we scared of social distancing? no fear sounds an awful lot like no fair no fair no fear stop looking in the mirror the new christmas cheer!
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A Teacher Poem: We’re in Trouble, Shoot!
Posted at 9:34 am , on September 26, 2020
trouble trouble troubleshoot nobody can hear me i've been speaking but i'm on mute trouble trouble troubleshoot caydon left the Zoom because his Chromebook needed to reboot trouble trouble troubleshoot amira's not paying attention because she's choosing a filter to make her look cute trouble trouble troubleshoot nobody can hear me i've been speaking but i'm on mute trouble trouble troubleshoot owen! turn off your camera! your dad just walked by in his birthday suit! trouble trouble troubleshoot mj's Google Doc won't load so he can't do the lesson on greek and latin roots trouble trouble troubleshoot i forgot to click record at the beginning of class hope i'm not slapped with a lawsuit trouble trouble troubleshoot Nobody can hear me. I've been speaking, but I'm on mute. We're in trouble, trouble, trouble. Shoot! Nobody can hear us. We've been speaking, but we're on mute. We're in trouble trouble trouble, bang! trouble shots fired! bang! all the teachers are tired trouble shots fired! bang! am i too young to retire? We're in trouble, trouble, trouble, shoot! Nobody can hear teachers. They've been speaking, but they're on mute. We're in trouble! Shots fired! Bang! We're in trouble! Don't shoot the messenger! Bang! The traditional classroom is dead. It isn't funny. Time of death: 2020. We're in trouble, trouble, trouble. Shoot!
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A Few Haiku in Memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Posted at 10:10 am , on September 19, 2020
She fought for justice for all, against mustaches. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Dissent collars and statement earrings and glasses. The right in the world feels so very wrong today. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Thank you for all you have done. We'll be persistent.
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A Teacher Poem: Invisible Students
Posted at 8:17 am , on August 22, 2020
invisible students cameras clicked off and microphones muted can't even mark them truant because i'm teaching invisible students invisible students masks hiding their faces making them feel stupid and like mutants because i'm teaching invisible students who don't want to talk because nothing is normal the People in Charge have stopped offering improvements because we're teaching invisible students living in the paranormal ghosted translucent the People in Charge are being imprudent because They don't care that we're teaching invisible students
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Mrs. Ram's Jams 