Mrs. Ram's Jams

Category: teaching

• A Teacher Tale: Holy Shit the Students Come Next Week

  Posted at 9:39 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on August 8, 2020

  

  Monday is the first in-person learning day for my students. Wednesday is my first day teaching both virtual and in-person learners at the same time. 

  [Gulps. Takes a deep breath. Sings to herself “Everything’s gonna be alright. Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye. Everything’s gonna be alright. Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye.”]

  

  https://tenor.com/view/good-cold-morning-lullaby-shawn-mullins-gif-15555338

  I can’t express to you how utterly mush-for-brained and overwhelmed I am right now (as are all teachers at this point). I’m going to be spending my weekend curled up in a little ball of denial on my couch singing real lullabies to myself, not the 90s rock variety, conserving brainpower and energy for the Herculean task of navigating in-person and virtual teaching simultaneously next week. 

  Can I do it? Absolutely, but you better be damn sure I’m gonna fuck it up spectacularly for a while–because I have to do eighty million and five things at one time. 

  My teacher desk set up includes three different computers. I can’t even count to three right now without needing a break between two and three. I’ve got Computer #1 hooked up to my SmartBoard that I’ll be running a Google Meet on for my virtual learners. Computer #2 I’m using to join the Google Meet, so I can interact with my virtual learners. Computer #3 is in charge of ALL OF THE OTHER THINGS. 

  I’ve got my Britney Spears headset (I don’t know how to use it yet, but, whatevs.), and you better believe that I’m gonna pretend that I’m a pop star while donning it. 

  

  https://tenor.com/view/britney-spears-turn-around-smiles-pretty-gif-15473483

  And I’ll probably get distracted by it to the point where I forget that I’m supposed to be teaching and operating three different computers at the same time and making sure that the students who are physically present are behaving and learning and healthy and socially distancing and wearing their masks and not-convinced-that-Mrs.-Ram-is-mentally-unstable. (Who am I kidding? I want them convinced that I’m insane.)

  So, there’s all that. 

  Plus, can we talk about my BIGGEST concern for this school year? How am I going to pull all of this off without dropping expletives like a sailor while I’m doing it? For realz. I’m doomed. So. So. So. Fucking. Doomed. Fuck.

  (I joke. I joke. But seriously. I’m doomed. My cursing has gotten a smidge out of control as of late.)

  Think happy thoughts for all teachers and students as the school year starts.

  We need all the good juju you can throw our way.  

  

  https://tenor.com/view/bad-juju-dont-want-that-bad-juju-friends-phoebe-buffay-lisa-kudrow-gif-13642805

  And throw some other stuff our way too if you can–like soap, Lysol, Clorox wipes, etc. You could literally throw a bottle of liquid Dial handsoap and hit me with it in the face, and I would thank you for the abuse as long as you were donating the handsoap to my classroom.

   

   

   
  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged english teacher, school, teaching, teaching middle school

• A Teacher Tale: A Mini-Lesson on Evaluating Resources and Building Arguments (What You’ve Forgotten and What You’re Doing Wrong)

  Posted at 1:26 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on July 11, 2020

  

  Hey every adult on social media! Every. Single. Person. Not just the right. Not just the left. Not just the Karens. Not just the Chads. Not just the Boomers. Not just the Millenials. Every. Single. Person.

  You would fail the argumentative units taught in middle schools and high schools across the country. If your Facebook arguments were essays handed into English teachers and if the articles you’re sharing were the resources you’d use to support those arguments, English teachers would return your think pieces to you with glaring red Fs, inked in the upper right-hand corner and circled for emphasis.

  Okay, so everybody wouldn’t fail (Hello, glaring flaw in reasoning!)– but if you want people to listen to your opinions about controversial topics, it can’t hurt to revisit the basic rules of how to evaluate resources and build an argument.

  So can you take five minutes and listen to me–a woman with 14 years of teaching experience in middle and high schools who holds an English degree from the University of Illinois and a master’s in Secondary English Curriculum and Instruction from Louisiana State University–about what you’re doing wrong and then reevaluate your thinking? It’s the same process my eighth graders go through whenever I give them feedback.

  What You’re Getting Wrong About Evaluating Resources and Building Arguments

  1. Stop writing off vetted and reliable news organizations and media resources because of a minuscule amount of bias. It’s important to recognize bias and if particular outlets lean left or right, but that’s just one step in the complicated process of evaluating resources and arguments. Does it lean slightly left? Does it lean slightly right? That’s not enough to discredit the facts or information presented in the source. Now if a resource or news organization is heavily biased then disregard it. You’ve seen those news bias charts floating around (you can take a look at a couple of different ones here and here). And what’s alarming is some Americans–both conservatives and liberals–are choosing to get their news from the most outrageously biased sources they can find instead of looking at minimally biased news sources on both sides of the political spectrum. If you handed in an argumentative essay to me and most of your citations were from these online news sources—The Huffington Post, The New Republic, BuzzFeed News, Daily Kos, Alternet, Occupy Democrats, Palmer Report, Patribotics, The Federalist, The New York Post, The Daily Mail, Fox News, The Daily Wire, Newsmax, RedState, The Blaze, InfoWars, WorldTruth.TV, The National Enquirer, and so many others–these heavily biased resources would weaken your entire argument, potentially causing you to fail the assignment. Might there be grains of truth and facts in these resources? Maybe, but you shouldn’t have to dig through skewed information and inflammatory language for it. Also, please recognize any argument any person makes will be biased–because that person is trying to prove a point regarding a debatable issue. (And P.S., some of you don’t use the word bias and its forms correctly within sentences–which further detracts from your argument. Bias is a noun. Biased is an adjective. Examples of correct usage:  The article has bias. An article is biased. The biased article weakens your argument. Your bias is showing. Examples of incorrect usage:  Another bias article is posted on Facebook. An article is bias because it’s hyper-partisan. The bias argument is faulty.)
  2. And what about that complicated evaluation process? You have to consider multiple factors when evaluating a news source. Unfortunately, it’s not an exact science, and sometimes you can’t discredit a source for one factor alone. When looking for facts and data to back up arguments, consider these things:  is the information true, does it give a list of resources, is it opinion, is it propaganda, is the information current, is the information written by an expert or are expert sources used within the resource (authority), is the information published by an accredited institution, does it address counterarguments, is it based in fact, is there inflammatory language, are there flaws in reasoning, does the site work well, is the website free from errors, is the website organized easily, AND/OR is there a minimal amount of bias? Look at these things when evaluating sources. Is any single resource going to meet all the above criteria? Maybe? Maybe not? Weigh its merits before deciding to use it. Now let’s inspect some of the more important points made here.
  3. Is the information true and based in fact, data, and logical reasoning?  If you use a resource that gives inaccurate information (Can you find the same information on multiple, reliable resources?), it renders the entire resource and your argument invalid. You cannot argue with facts; they speak for themselves. I repeat–facts are not debatable. 
  4. Is the information up-to-date? I cannot stress this enough. When using resources to back up your point, use the most recent information available. Let’s examine the controversy surrounding masks. At the beginning of the coronavirus outbreak in March, Dr. Fauci, the nation’s foremost expert in infectious diseases, said to not wear a mask in a 60 Minutes interview. This clip, widely circulated via YouTube and Facebook, is still being used to back up people’s arguments for not wearing a mask. However, this is old news because as doctors and scientists have learned more about how this brand new virus spreads and how to treat it, they have changed their recommendations to wearing a mask. Dr. Fauci and other experts now say everyone should wear one in public based on the current research. Yes, information and recommendations can change that quickly. Adjust your wheelhouse to new information and stop clinging to outdated data. Let me put it to you like this, up until the 19th century, doctors used to bleed patients as treatment. Hey, got pneumonia? A sore throat? Let’s drain you of your blood to help you get better! Let’s make you super weak to fight this infection! Sounds ludicrous right? (Sidebar:  On the day he died, George Washington woke up with a sore throat, and as a treatment, his doctors drained 40 percent of the blood from his body.) Do doctors still use this practice? NO! Because it’s been proven ineffective and choosing to still practice it would be negligent. Now that was a super long time ago, but just like I wouldn’t want a doctor draining my blood to treat coronavirus, I wouldn’t want doctors to use treatments on me from three months ago–when they didn’t know much about the virus. When scientists and doctors are presented with new information that proves old information wrong, they change their previous stances. You need to do so as well. Take a little time. Dig around on Google. Check to see the date the information was originally published or if it’s been updated recently. Stop spreading old news as new news. If you use old information, it renders your entire argument invalid.
  5. Is the information written by an expert on the topic, and does that resource have the authority to give you the information? Am I an infectious disease expert? No. Are you an infectious disease expert? Probably not. And no amount of googling will make you or me one. Trust what people who have degrees and have studied topics extensively are telling you and then use their expertise to back up your argument. At this point, you might be thinking, Mrs. Ram, you’ve just obliterated your own authority, but I didn’t. What’s my expertise? What are my credentials? As pointed out above, I have authority when it comes to literature, writing, and 14 years of teaching both. So do I have the authority and expertise to discuss with you how to evaluate resources and arguments? Yes. But, just like I tell my students, don’t ask for my expertise about Huey Long’s assassination, why the sky is blue, or how to figure out that algebraic equation—because I’m not an expert on those topics. Here’s another example. Would you want your cancer treated by a hospital administrator, a general practitioner, a gastroenterologist, or an oncologist? This seems like a no brainer, right? So why choose articles, listen to speeches, or elevate arguments from people who are in leadership positions who ignore experts when it comes to mask-wearing and COVID-19? Why choose a resource about anti-mask-wearing or about how coronavirus-is-a-hoax penned by a plastic surgeon, gastroenterologist, rheumatologist, or even a general practitioner over experts even more knowledgable? Just like I don’t want my ulcerative colitis treated by my dermatologist, I don’t want my information about coronavirus from anyone but an expert. Again, dig. Who wrote the information that you’re reading? Do they have the authority to tell you this information, and if they don’t, did they gather that information that they’re providing from other expert sources? 
  6. Is there inflammatory language? If you want people to listen to your argument, limit or refrain from using language that insults and angers the people you’re trying to persuade. Choose resources that practice this as well. That negative language will work on people who already agree with you, but it won’t on the people who don’t. Were you offended when I told you at the beginning that you’d fail an argumentative unit? I did it on purpose to show you how negative language can affect an argument. 
  7. And finally, just liking or loving a person or an entity is not enough to use them as a resource. A good solid argument is based on facts, data, and logical reasoning and can be strengthened by using emotional and ethical appeals. If it’s built only using emotional and/or ethical appeals, disregard the argument.

  Y’all. I didn’t even touch flaws in reasoning, but you can read more about that here. 

  You might not like me now or the information presented here. You might have caught on to some flaws in my logic (feel free to point them out to me). But that’s not enough to discredit the basic rules of how to evaluate resources and how to build an argument that I presented to you. 

  Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if you dislike what I told you. If your argument isn’t grounded in facts, statistics, data, and logical reasoning and isn’t backed up by credible, reliable, trustworthy resources, you don’t have an argument and people aren’t going to consider what you have to say. Because you’re wrong and you’re choosing to ignore or argue with information that can’t be argued with.

  ---

   

  What I’m going to ask you to do now is to sit and reflect. How can you be better at choosing resources and building arguments? What do you need to rethink? How can we all be better about how we engage in persuasive discussions on the internet and in person? 

  Works Cited:  See links embedded in the post. 

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged argumentative writing, english teacher, evaluate an argument, how to build an argument, rhetorical appeals

• Teachers, Police, and White Outrage

  Posted at 2:33 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on June 20, 2020

  

  Outraged person on Facebook:  How dare you try to take money away from the police force! 

  My brain:

  Don’t say it.

  Don’t say it.

  Don’t say it.

  Don’t say it.

  Don’t say it.

  Me:  Where’s your outrage for taking money away from education? 

  ---

  Why are white people so angry at taking money away from the police? And why aren’t they equally outraged at taking money away from education? And why am I comparing these two seemingly unlike fields?

  While this is a complicated matter (major understatement, I’m aware), I’m sure I’ll manage to leave out important points, and I might lose sight of my goal during this post, consider this: White Americans feel threatened by taking money away from a system pervaded with racism and violence that’s staffed with undereducated men while looking the other way when taking money away from a field that possesses all the tools to help combat racism and violence that’s staffed with educated women.

  (Is there racism in education as well? Yes. Does it need to be addressed? Yes.)

  Now before your outrage seeps into your fingers and makes you angrily pound out a vitriolic missive, hear me out. 

  Yes, policing is an important part of keeping our country safe, but it needs massive reform and:

  Why do we as a country keep putting undereducated men in positions of power and paying them more money than women who have bachelor degrees? 

  ---

  • Police officers are overwhelmingly male, comprising 87.4 percent of all officers (https://www.statista.com/statistics/195324/gender-distribution-of-full-time-law-enforcement-employees-in-the-us/) and on average make $69,036 per year (https://datausa.io/profile/soc/333050). And according to Policefoundation.org (https://www.policefoundation.org/study-examines-higher-education-in-policing/#:~:text=About%20one%20third%20(30.2%20percent,percent%20have%20a%20graduate%20degree.), “About one third (30.2 percent) of police officers in the United States have a four-year college degree. A little more than half (51.8 percent) have a two-year degree, while 5.4 percent have a graduate degree.” So 18 percent of police officers have no formal post-secondary education. Often police forces require at least a two-year degree but that degree can be waived if potential officers have spent a year or two in the military. White officers make up 77.1 percent of all police officers in the country as well (https://datausa.io/profile/soc/police-officers).
  • In comparison, let’s take a look at education and teachers. Female teachers account for 76 percent of the field, and teachers holding a bachelor’s degree make a base average salary of $49,900 (https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_clr.asp#:~:text=About%2076%20percent%20of%20public,school%20level%20(36%20percent).).  Furthermore, all certified teachers must hold a bachelor’s degree. And 79 percent of all public school teachers are white (https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_clr.asp#:~:text=In%202017%E2%80%9318%2C%20about%2079,1%20percent%20of%20public%20school). 

  Why does all of this matter? 

  1. Teaching, a female-dominated field, requires more education but pays less money than being a police officer does. Why? Why? Why? (Do not throw the because teachers get the summer off argument at me. Let’s say a teacher spends five extra hours working a week outside of school during the school year. That’s 180 hours they’re not paid for–that’s an entire month of working without pay. That’s half of summer break right there. Then there are the trainings, conferences, and planning that teachers are not compensated for over the summer as well.) Also could you imagine an in-lieu-of-a-four-year-degree clause in the teaching field like there is a waiver for post-secondary education in the police force? In the police force, military experience is substituted. What would the equivalent of that waiver be in education? Observation hours? Student teaching experience? Those are already requirements for the degree . . . Also, studies show that the more of an education that a police officer has the less likely the officer is to “resort to force” (http://www.msnbc.com/ronan-farrow-daily/us-police-education-levels-and-the-use-force.)
  2. Does the outrage over taking money away from police departments stem from white, undereducated men feeling threatened that their good-paying jobs are going to be taken away? Does the outrage over taking money away threaten masculinity and the glorification of a violent, powerful male ideal? Is the simple answer to the outrage’s source that it’s a field dominated by men? Is the simple answer to the lack of outrage at education losing funding that it’s a field dominated by women? And all of this is further compounded by systemic racism, white privilege, police brutality, and individual racism. I guess the answer isn’t so simple is it?
  3. Do teachers work overtime? Yes. Do the vast majority of them get paid for it? No. Do cops work overtime? Yes. Do they get paid for it? Yes. Why? Because men would never stand for unpaid work because society doesn’t expect it of them. Go back to my point in the first bullet.
  4. Or maybe it all comes down to fear of more violent crime if some money is taken away from the police. Despite what you might think, “the violent crime rate has plunged by more than 50 percent since the highwater mark of the early 1990s” (https://www.themarshallproject.org/2019/09/30/new-fbi-data-violent-crime-still-falling). In 2018, there were 23.2 violent crimes per 1,000 people compared to 79.8 in 1993 (https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank//2019/10/17/facts-about-crime-in-the-u-s/). It is safer overall in America than it was almost 30 years ago. [Sidebar: but do you know what the only violent crime that is on an upward trend since 2012 is? Rape. (https://www.themarshallproject.org/2019/09/30/new-fbi-data-violent-crime-still-falling). Chew. On. That. For. A. Minute.]
  5. What is the harm in reforming the police system and holding police officers to a higher standard in an effort to get rid of racism and brutality? Education goes through reform all of the time. Not only does more work need to be done to reform education, but more work needs to directly address the racism built into its institutions as well. Educational policies, practices, and standards are not static, and the police force’s shouldn’t be either.

  

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged defundthepolice, police, teachers, teaching

• Mrs. Ram’s Vocabulary Lesson for the Words Asymptomatic, Presymptomatic, and Defund

  Posted at 10:39 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on June 13, 2020

  

  Hey! I’m here in a professional capacity today to teach you about Greek and Latin roots and affixes. Breaking down words you don’t know for their parts, a skill I practice with my students daily, helps build vocabulary because 60 percent of the English language is built with those roots and affixes. 

  

  I’ve noticed a bit of confusion surrounding three words in particular this week:  asymptomatic, presymptomatic, and defund. Lucky for you, these three words are easily broken down. Are you ready for your vocabulary lesson?

  Vocab Word Number 1:  Asymptomatic (adjective)

  A–a Greek prefix that means without or no

  Symptom—a word from Greek and Latin that means showing signs of illness

  Atic/ic–a Latin and Greek suffix that means characteristic of and makes words adjectives

  Put It All Together and What Do You Get? Showing no signs of illness

  Why does it matter? Because you can test positive for an illness, like COVID-19, but show no symptoms. You should still wear a mask in public because you still could spread the disease. https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/09/health/asymptomatic-presymptomatic-coronavirus-spread-explained-wellness/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/12/health/coronavirus-mask-wellness-trnd/index.html

  Vocab Word Number 2:  Presymptomatic (adjective)

  Pre–a Latin prefix that means before

  Symptom–a word from Greek and Latin that means showing signs of illness

  Atic/ic–a Latin and Greek suffix that means characteristic of and makes words adjectives

  Put It All Together and What Do You Get? Before signs of illness start

  Why does it matter? Because you can show no signs of being sick before becoming ill with COVID-19. You should still wear a mask in public because you still could spread the disease.  https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/09/health/asymptomatic-presymptomatic-coronavirus-spread-explained-wellness/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/12/health/coronavirus-mask-wellness-trnd/index.html

  Vocab Word Number 3:  Defund (verb)

  De–a Latin prefix that means to take away or to remove or reverse

  Fund–a word from Latin that means to finance

  Put It All Together and What Do You Get? To take away or remove money

  Why does it matter? Because taking away money doesn’t necessarily mean abolishing the police force or taking away all of the money. Look at education, the government has been defunding education for years–but often, like I saw on the news this morning, instead of using the word defund because of its negative connotation, taking money away from education is often described as the euphemistic  “deep budget cuts.” Choosing to use the word defund instead of a word or phrase with a more positive connotation is divisive, creating even more controversy around rethinking traditional law enforcement.

  If the potential money defunded from the police were redirected to education, maybe there:

   1. Wouldn’t be so much confusion over what words mean or how they can be chosen so carefully to inflame either side of the aisle to react based on their emotions instead of looking at the facts and participating in rational discourse. After all, it’s common knowledge that words are powerful, and often they are loaded with biased emotions. (Sorry for the cliché.) 

  2. Wouldn’t be so much confusion about which news sources are reliable.

  3. Wouldn’t be such a distrust of science.

  4. Wouldn’t be such a stigma surrounding admitting that you were wrong.

  5. Wouldn’t be such a reluctance to rethink our many societal establishments steeped in racism. 

  6. Wouldn’t be so many people who lack empathy. 

  7. Wound’t be . . . . (You fill in the blank. The possibilities are endless because more education and change are the only answers. We need to start SHOVELING money, from all directions–not just rerouted money from police departments, into the public education system instead of continuing to take it away.)

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged asymptomatic, blacklivesmatter, coronavirus, defund, presymptomatic

• A Teacher Tale: Questions About the 2020-2021 School Year

  Posted at 1:54 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on April 24, 2020

  
  

  Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

  Am I going to have to wear a mask to teach?

  If I do have to wear a mask . . .

  How are the kids going to see my facial expressions? That’s like, the best part of me as a teacher!

  Does this mean I have to up my eyeshadow game and learn how to properly apply winged eyeliner for once and for all to make up for the lack of, you know, a mouth? I’ve got to give the kids something interesting to look at. Looks like I’ll be watching a million Jaclyn Hill YouTube tutorials before August.

  Can I stop wearing lipstick to work? Who am I kidding. I rarely wore lipstick at work anyway . . .

  What happens when I sneeze? I’m obviously going to have to take off my mask to blow my nose and that’s going to break the law . . . Do I just count that mask as my Kleenex and whip it off and don a fresh one?

  Do I have to match my mask to my outfit? Or can you get away with clashing? Like is it crime against fashion to wear my orange and blue school polo shirt with a pink-ribbon-breast-cancer-awareness-patterned-ten -year-old-piece-of -scrap-fabric-diy mask that my MIL sewed for me? Maybe I need to find a subreddit about the art of mixing prints?

  Am I going to have to stand six feet apart from everybody at all times at school?

  How am I going to stand in the hallway in the mornings and stand six feet apart from the teacher in the class next to me and keep an eye on the kids inside my classroom?

  Is my temperature going to be checked daily before being allowed to enter the building?

  Are the kids going to have to wear masks?

  Is the school board going to have to change the dress code to allow for masks?

  Are the kids going to have to have dress-coded masks? 

  Are the kids going to have to do temperature checks?

  How are the kids going to socially distance while riding the bus?

  How are the kids going to socially distance while in the hallway?

  How are the kids going to socially distance in the classroom?

  Is outside school going to become a thing?

  How am I going to handle outside school? 

  Am I going to have to write kids up if they refuse to wear masks? BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN. 

  Am I going to have to write kids up for touching each other?

  Am I going to have to write kids up for sharing food?

  How’s the cafeteria and lunch going to work? If they have to eat lunch in classrooms with their teachers, I might lose my mind. Or get the teacher’s union involved. 

  Am I going to have to wipe down desks and chairs in between classes?

  If I have to do that, who is watching kids in the hallway?

  Is the school day going to have to be longer to accomodate for lost instructional minutes because of after each class cleanings?

  Oh god, trying to crowd control 200 8th graders in the hallway. 

  Who’s going to pay for all the Clorox wipes and Lysol used at school? 

  Are kids going to try to steal toilet paper?

  Am I going to have to write kids up for not washing their hands in the cafeteria before they eat?

  Do I need to be prepared to teach from home again? I succccckkkkkkk at making videos and hate being on a screen. I’m the WORST at it and have never liked being video recorded. 

  How are they going to disinfect the library books?

  Is passing out paper documents to students going to be illegal?

  If I have to go to a paperless classrooom, how am I going to keep track of everything? My Google Drive is as disorganzied as a middle school boy who treats his backpack as a garbage can. I’m of the staunch opinion that digital files don’t really exist because they’re intangible. (Not really, but you know what I mean, right?) 

  How do I rearrange my Google Classroom so it’s easier for students to locate assignments because I might not be with students all of the time? 

  Can I convince the other teachers on my team to all organize their Google Classrooms the same way so kids don’t have to figure out 6 different organizational methods?

  If we have to switch in and out of distance learning and face to face learning, am I finally going to have to break down and use Remind? All of my assignments and due dates are posted on Google Classroom–in one place. Why do I have to do more work and post the same shit through another format? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. 

  Will I be allowed to write kids up for being asshats during a Zoom?

  How does virtual detention work? 

  Can I be in charge of designing and implementing virtual detention? That sounds cool as shit. GIVE ME THE REINS. I WANT TO INNOVATE DAMMIT! How can I make it as much like The Breakfast Club as possible but rated G? Step one, befriend someone who works for Zoom and convince them to make a The Breakfast Club background . . . 

  Is school just going to be completely different forever?

   

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged 2020-2021 school year, distance learning, education, english teacher, middle school teacher

• A Reflection on Distance Learning: How I Jinxed the 2019-2020 School Year

  Posted at 10:49 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on April 18, 2020

  

   

  I jinxed the 2019-2020 school year. For myself. For my students. For you. For your students. For everyone.

  Just kidding. While it’s intoxicating to believe I possess such powers, I know it’s due to the upending coronavirus pandemic. 

  But why make this claim? To build an argument against myself, I’ll examine my posts since the end of last school year (although not in chronological order). 

  1. Last month I wrote about the importance of student attendance, how students need to be physically present at school and miss no more than 10 days a year. Now, just a few weeks later, nobody has to physically attend school. Even though students are distance learning, it’s not the same as walking into a tangible building bustling with students, teachers, routine, and structure. My heart breaks because I miss seeing students’ faces every day and helping them grow, but it also breaks my heart because they miss going to school too. 
  2. At the end of last school year, I penned a post discussing how my classroom was ditching technology and picking up paper and pen instead, helping with retention and engagement and reducing digital distractions. Oh, how the copy machine and I reacquainted ourselves for three grading periods! Now, because of distance learning, everything is digital. EVERYTHING. Ugh. (I even miss the cantankerous copy machine in the teacher’s lounge. I bet she’s lonely.) Can you imagine being a teenager, having your entire school year reduced to a screen, and completing work daily on a device that screams at you to play games or watch Kylie Jenner makeup tutorials on Youtube instead of completing assignments? It’s a wonder students get anything done. Let’s not forget they’ve got their phone beside them, and they’re getting distracted by SnapChats, TikToks, and text messages that wouldn’t even be a distraction if they were sitting in a classroom. I could have my students read a novel for the rest of the year, but I don’t want to have them read a 330-page book on a screen. I actually had a student tell me that they missed doing work and reading things on paper. Insert crying face emoji here. And the sad thing is, I don’t know if I’ll have the guts to go back to paper once all of this, gestures vaguely with her hands, is over. The thought of physically collecting paper from 95 different kids and handling it without touching my face while grading scares the shit out of me. Middle schoolers suck at washing their hands and aren’t well known for fantastic hygiene practices in general. (I love them despite their sketchy hygiene.)  
  3. I also wrote a post about late work policies and changed mine considerably. I went from accepting late test grade assignments at a 10 point deduction and late participation work at half credit to handing out one late pass for test grade assignments for full credit and two late homework passes for full credit. Once those passes were used, grades went in as zeros unless students were in danger of failing. Now with distance learning, I’ve got to accept all late work for full credit, and while I understand this policy’s leniency and necessity, it nevertheless irks me. I’m also expected to post answers to assignments, so I’ve got kids who wait until after the answers are posted to complete the assignments. Do they really deserve full credit? Particularly if it’s just a participation grade? Furthermore, the rigor and frequency of my assignments have decreased because we were told to give students about a third of what we would normally teach and not make them too hard otherwise students wouldn’t complete assignments. Lots of the grades I’m giving, even for test grade assignments, are hey-do-this-work-and-follow-the-directions assessments. I have a hard time giving students full credit on glorified completion grades that they’ve turned in late. Now don’t get me wrong, I know some students are watching their siblings, might not be living at home, have a parent who is sick, etc., and I am completely sympathetic to those students, but there are some who are abusing the system. I caught a lot of pushback from parents for giving a participation grade for just checking into Google Classroom daily (could there be an easier assignment to get credit for????)  and ended up deleting it because dealing with the fallout for two days left me sleepless and a tad indignant. Does everyone deserve an A in an honors class because of this crappy situation? The grades don’t even count this last quarter. Ugh. So why do I even care so much? Also, don’t even get me started on the obvious cheating on true tests taken at home. 
  4. I also wrote a post about my love/hate relationship with Romeo and Juliet, and I was still in the middle of teaching it when school was suddenly shuttered. The kids finished reading it on their own because I couldn’t have them NOT finish reading it. They didn’t get to choose and scene and act it out, which is one of my favorite activities of the year. I wanted to have them perform outside this year because Shakespeare’s plays were performed outside too. 
  5. And last, but not least, I wrote something about how grading at home never works, and now it’s the ONLY option. Ack. 

  So see, my words have come back and bitten me in the booty!

  Distance learning has been an adjustment and has humbled me. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a perfect teacher. I am a reflective practitioner, and this situation has turned my entire profession on its head. Maybe I needed to be knocked back a few notches because I’d forgotten, albeit momentarily, that teaching is NEVER predictable, but this predicament is unprecedented. We all need to cut ourselves some slack.

  Thanks for letting me vent my uglies. I cannot wait to walk back into my classroom in August. 

  (Gosh, I hope that doesn’t come back and bite me in the booty too. Let’s think happy thoughts that schools will be open in August.)

  

  Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged distance learning, english teacher, school, students, teaching

• PSA About Student Attendance

  Posted at 9:54 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 7, 2020

  

  Friendly (Albeit Possibly Unpopular Opinion) Parent Reminder PSA from Mrs. Ram Jam:

  Please send your kids to school. 

  Your kids have one job–it’s called school. Please send them to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  For the most part, your kids are not professional athletes, actors, reality stars, or gamers. They should not miss multiple days a school year for travel soccer, baseball, cheer, badminton, Fortnite competitions, Scrabble tournaments, or auditions. 

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  There are multiple opportunities for extended holidays throughout the year–like summer vacation, Christmas vacation, Thanksgiving vacation, spring break, fall break, and various three day weekends. Check the school’s calendar before you schedule a vacation during the school year. A two-week European tour, ten-day Walt Disney World excursion, or seven-day Caribbean cruise while school is in session is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being. 

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  Furthermore, it’s unethical to get doctor’s excuses for athletic competitions, auditions, and vacations. Your children tell us where they were or their classmates do. Your Instagram story even tells us where they’ve been. Also your actions, if you’ve partaken in these instances and even gotten a doctor to write you excuses for them, scream privilege.

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  Also, try to schedule doctor, dental, orthodontal, and therapy appointments for after the school day or during elective classes. When you schedule a biweekly appointment to get your child’s braces adjusted on Mondays at 8:00 A.M., your child is missing the same class or classes each time, which is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being. 

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  Please send your kids to school on time. If your child checks in late two or three days a week, they are missing the same class each time, which is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being.

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

  Why do I care so much?

  1. Absences add up. Kids get sick. Family members pass away. Kids break bones. Kids get lice. Say your kid gets the flu and misses five days of school, but then you turn around and take them to Disney two weeks later for four days during the school week. Then your kid misses five more days because of travel soccer. Then your kid gets food poisoning in March and misses three days. That’s 17 absences for the school year. 17. 17. 17. That’s more than three weeks of school.
  2. An excused absence is still an absence. 
  3. It sends the wrong message to your kid and their classmates. Is your child more important than the other students? Why does your kid get to miss so much when the other students don’t? The students notice, and they talk about it. 
  4. It hurts your child academically. They have a ton of work to make up, and they miss the benefit of actually being taught the material and classroom discussions. According to attendanceworks.org, “research shows that missing 10 percent of the school, or about 18 days in most school districts, negatively affects a student’s academic performance. That’s just two days a month.”
  5. It hurts their teachers and their schools. There. I said it. I’m being selfish. For once. If you don’t send your kid to school, and your kid doesn’t grow the way the state expects him/her to grow by the end of the year, it affects my scores, my evaluation, and my paycheck. It affects the school’s scores and bottom line too. Your actions affect the community at large. 

  I’m not trying to be all sanctimonious here. Have I pulled Little Thing out of school to go on vacation before? Yes. For one day. One day. Not five in a row. Are two days acceptable? Sure! Let your kids play travel ball and go on auditions and miss a Friday or two during deer season. But more than two days? Multiple times a year? That’s sketchy. 

  Strive for no more than ten absences. The fewer the absences the better. 

  Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice. 

   

  Posted in kids, teaching, Uncategorized | 9 Comments | Tagged blogs, school, schools, student attendance, students, teaching

• Why I Love and Hate Teaching Romeo and Juliet

  Posted at 3:34 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 22, 2020

  

  Psssttt. Here’s a secret. This English teacher hates Romeo and Juliet more than the Montagues and Capulets loathe each other. (I know. Gasp. Shocked emoji face. Call Karen in HR and fire me right now.) And because it’s entrenched in the freshman canon, I will never escape its overtly romantical clutches as long as I am teaching English I. 

  Why do I hate Romeo and Juliet and teaching it?

  1. Romeo, a whiny lover boy ruled by his teenage emotions, is my least favorite Shakespeare character. I spend the entire time wanting to smack him and talk some logic into him. 
  2. Benvolio sucks too. Whenever something big happens on stage, Benvolio summarizes the just-happened events for new-to-the-scene characters. 
  3. The way Romeo and Juliet talk to one another makes me gag. Love stories aren’t my Ram Jam. 
  4. The students harp on the fact that Juliet is 13 and never recover from it. They also debate Romeo’s age endlessly (The text never gives it.). They talk about this the ENTIRE time we’re reading. 
  5. It’s full of sexual innuendo, and I teach middle school. Need I say more? 
  6. I’d much rather tackle The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest, Twelfth Night, Othello, or Macbeth. 

  And while I do lather on the Romeo and Juliet hate thick, I love teaching it for almost the same reasons I despise teaching it.

  1. I take my hate and shout it from the desktops from the beginning. It’s simple really. I let the kids know I hate Romeo and Benvolio. I don’t tell the students why. I string them along and build interest to hook them, revealing tidbits here and there why I hate Romeo and Benvolio as the acts unfold. I use my Romeo hate to teach characterization. I use my Benvolio hate to teach summarizing. I make my hate passionate, fun, and refreshing instead of letting it bring my lessons down. Frequently, the kids hate Romeo too, and we bond through our mutual dislike. 
  2. Even though it’s a love story and the ooey-gooey language makes me cringe, I appreciate the poetry. We analyze the heck out of the figurative language and poetic structure of Romeo and Juliet’s dialogue. For example, when Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time, they actually start rhyming together in their religious imagery-filled banter and wind up creating a shared mini sonnet, which is pretty freaking cool from a structural standpoint. 
  3. The kids relate to the teenage emotions running rampant throughout the text even though they pretend that all of the kissing mortifies them. We discuss why it’s important to not be ruled by emotions and how to consider situations logically. 
  4. The kids have zero knowledge of Elizabethan theater and England before they start reading and are fascinated by what they learn. The fact that it was illegal for women to act so men played all the parts blows their minds. They’re horrified and enthralled when they discover women could get married at twelve years old and were sometimes married to much older men. They have no concept that modern medicine did not apply back then, women often died in childbirth, and child death rates were high. They’re floored when they realize Nurse was Juliet’s wet nurse and that the word nurse etymologically stems from a Latin word meaning “to nourish.” 
  5. On the day we start Act I Scene 1, I tell them Shakespeare is a dirty old white guy to prepare them for the puns and hook them into the play. You might find this method a little shocking, but have you read this play? It’s full of inappropriate jokes, and while it might have gone over your head when you were in high school, my kids understand what they’re reading. If I didn’t prepare them for the dirty jokes, my lesson could crash and burn in a million different ways. They appreciate being treated like adults. When I handle it this way, it minimizes the puns, and we’re able to focus on the storyline and the structure. 
  6. Even though Romeo and Juliet isn’t my favorite play, I love Shakespeare and theater. I’m able to channel that love into a play I hate (My only love sprung from my only hate! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.). I’m in my element when I’ve got the bard and a script in front of me, and the students see the best me when this unit rolls around each year. 

  

  What are some texts you hate but you have to teach? I’d love to hear! I’d also love to know why and what you do to combat your hate to make interesting lessons. 

   

  (Also, another shocker, I’m not a huge fan of To Kill a Mockingbird—but that’s a whole other blog post.)

   

  Posted in books, poetry, reading, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 5 Comments | Tagged benvolio, blogging, blogs, drama, english teacher, i hate romeo and juliet, juliet, plays, poetry, reading, romeo, romeo and juliet, shakespeare, teaching, teaching shakespeare, writing

• An Ulcerative Colitis Tale: What I Learned During My Hospital Stay

  Posted at 2:54 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 8, 2020

  

  Hey! For those who missed it, I spent three nights in the hospital due to an ulcerative colitis flare. 

  I’d tried telling two different doctors at various times throughout January that my medicine stopped working, but nobody listened to me. 

  For a week before I was admitted, my doctor’s office ghosted me. I called. I emailed. Nothing. No answer. Radio static. (Long story here. If you want more details, call, text, or inbox me.)

  I felt like Demi Lovato singing “Anyone” at the Grammys.

  Turns out, shocker, that my colitis had spread further into my colon, and I needed a blood transfusion to replace the blood I had lost. 

  Because. Nobody. Listened. To. Me. Seriously. 

  Ugh.  

  But I won’t get into the entire story right now because:

  1. I’m still really upset.
  2. it should have never happened.

  Because. Nobody. Listened. To. Me. 

  ---

  Enough of the negativity. Here’s what I learned during my hospital stay.

  1. Beware the pretty pills. My nurses ooohhhhhed and awwwwwed over a lovely, jade-colored pill, presented to me in a tiny plastic cup. We never get to see colorful pills! Look how pretty! They said. All we ever see are plain-colored pills! Considering the sheer number of medicines overwhelming my system, I missed all the warning signs that this “pretty green pill” was the Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge. After achieving mind-blowingly high status twice in four hours, I, slurring my words, accused the nurses of slipping me roofies and refused to take more. Unfortunately, my mother called both times I was baked, and I had to hang up on her. Sorry Mom! Also, if you texted me while I was drugged, and I promised I would steal you some roofies too, come see me later. (Just kidding!!!!) (gif credit)
  2. If you spill your water all over your bed, you don’t get a new bed; you get put on a puppy pad.  I felt properly shamed. Don’t worry. At least they didn’t try to stick my nose in it . . .
  3. Teacher expectations are ridiculous. Sorry. Here’s the negativity again. What was I doing before getting a blood transfusion? Typing up emergency lesson plans. Posting student instructions on Google Classroom. Trying to line up a sub for the next day–while I had IVs in both arms. Just to make sure my students weren’t given short shrift by my emergency absence. How insane is that? Read what I just wrote again. Insane. Utterly insane. If you are outside the education field, I don’t think you’ll ever understand the pressures that teachers face. My absence also created more work for my immediate grade level team members, and thank you, 8th-grade team, from the bottom of my heart for helping.
  4. I am officially a vampire. I’ve got someone else’s blood running through my veins! Call me Bill Compton! Edward! Dracula! Bunnicula! Waiittttt. Why are the great vampires all dudes? I need to rectify this, Le-stat! You can address me as Rampire. It has a nice ring to it. (My brother, on the other hand, thinks this equates me with a mosquito, not a vampire, and I’ll need a reinforcement coven to convince him otherwise.)(gif credit)
  5. Never doubt the medicine of a good laugh. Two of my friends came to visit, made me laugh the entire time they were there, and brought me this hysterical card. My bestie from high school sent me these flowers with this funny card. And the Facebook-requested memes and videos brightened my days. Here’s my favorite gif that I received during my stay. (Sorry not sorry for the crass humor. This is hilarious.)

  And while humor helps, what happened to me is no laughing matter. If you suffer from any illness, whether invisible or visible, you are your own best advocate. You are the only person who knows what the pain feels like, and if doctors aren’t listening to you, keep speaking up–even if it feels like nobody is listening to you. 

  ---

  (I respect all doctors, and I am not doctor bashing here, friends. This came down to ineffective communication within a doctor’s office and between doctors’ offices and medical bureaucracy. What happened to me could have been prevented. I’m just relaying how unnervingly unheard I was.) 

   

  Posted in chronic pain, teaching, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, chronic illness, chronic pain, hospital, hospital stays, humor, ibd, inflammatory bowel disease, invisible illness, poop jokes, teacher, teaching, ulcerative colitis, writing

• A Teacher Poem: Buzz Words

  Posted at 11:17 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 25, 2020

  

  begin with the end in mind, AKA backward design
  Common Core and 504
  ELL, STEM, and IEP are not absentee (But if they were, you’d have to let them make up the work, for sure.)
  collaborate and debate
  Claim retired, and its replacement is assertion; try teaching that to little persons.

  rigor
  response
  reflection
  rubric
  will point you in the right (write?) direction

  facilitate with fidelity; provide actionable feedback . . . (but don’t call in sick unless you’re having a heart attack)
  Is your summative assessment warm or cold? (Grab a blanket–so we’re told.)
  flip the classroom; personalize learning (to get their brains churning)

  What’s the objective? 
  Does it align with the standards?
  How does the curriculum get them college and career ready?

  Scaffold.
  Differentiate.
  Rigor.
  Peer conversations.
  Rigor.
  Text complexity.

  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  Rigor.

  Build relationships. 
  Rigor.
  One to one.
  Rigor.
  Lexile.
  Rigor. 

  Rigor.
  Rigor.
  Rigor.

  TRIGGER WARNING

  The kids still find it boring.

  And by week’s end, the only buzz words we care about are Tito’s, tequila, and Tanqueray (with honorable mentions to happy hour and chardonnay).

  

  Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

  Posted in poems, poetry, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, english teacher, humor, middle school teacher, poems, poems about teaching, poetry, teacher, teaching, teaching middle school, writing

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