Mrs. Ram's Jams

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    • Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions

      Posted at 9:06 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 11, 2018

      Because my birthday falls on January seventh, my New Year’s resolutions never appear prior to January’s second full week. I’m a firm believer of birthday indulgences. I refuse to let my birthday get in the way of resolutions; therefore, I wait to avoid failure.

      Because intentional failure is stupid.

      But unexpected failure happens all the time for me.

      For example in a moment of lice inspired weakness before Christmas break, I lamented to my principal that I’m an idiot, relinquished all knowledge, and begged her to be my life coach. In the hallway. Loudly. With students and other teachers around.  

      That, my friends, is failing at life.

      As is catching lice at nearly 35. 

      (For my lice debacles, check out these posts: A Little Thing Tale: Merry Licemas and A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Happy Lice-a-Days)

      And I’m disconcertingly at peace with my spectacular fails.       

      Anyway, here are my resolutions.

        1. Read less. Write more. Instead of inhaling books at an alarming rate, I’m stepping back a notch. I’ll be just fine if I read 60 books instead of 119, allowing me more writing time. I’ve posted weekly since starting the blog, but often I’m scrounging around at the last minute trying to post something before my weekly Saturday self-imposed cutoff (because I’m caught up in a book). Writing is greater than reading in 2018.  
        2. Break the bad habit of spacing twice after a period. WHO KNEW THAT THIS IS NO LONGER A THING, AND HOW COME NO ONE HAS ALERTED THE MASSES??? Or were the masses alerted, and I missed it? Again, another life fail.  
        3. Do yoga everyday (barring contracting bubonic plague, botulism, or whatever more plausible virus is contaminating my middle school). I’ve done yoga everyday since November 13–that’s 60 days in a row! Might as well see if I can keep it up. I can already see the difference, and my back has NEVER felt better. My muscle inflammation is essentially nonexistent. On days that I know I can’t handle 30 minutes, I try to do a gentle 15 minute practice. On top of daily practice, I want to learn about yoga’s history, too.
        4. Brush up on my Russian. I was three classes short of graduating with a minor in Russian from the U of I. The department head, who I loved, left after my sophomore year and was replaced with a scary lady. By junior year, I was one of the few non Russian students. Feeling overwhelmed, I said dosvedanya and left the foreign language building’s basement. Fast forward a decade and I’ve forgotten everything I was taught except how to read it. (Okay that’s not true. The first full sentence from the Russian 101 textbook was лифт никогда не работает, which means “The elevator never works.” Why? Why was this the first thing I learned. Do elevators consistently refuse to work in Russia??? Also the Russian word for water is вода, pronounced voda. It’s. Only. One. Letter. Away. From. Vodka. Can I start calling water “wineter”? Do you think I can pull it off? Or is this a Gretchen Weiners-esque fetch pipe dream?) I dilly-dallied over relearning Russian last summer but was unwilling to fully commit. Rosetta Stone’s new best friend will be Mrs. Ram Jam this year. (Again, life fail. I’d like you to meet my future summer time best friend, Rosetta. I bought her for $179. She’s reteaching me Russian, and she’s not a real person.)
        5. Secret Resolution. Sorry! I’m being that girl.  

      Are these difficult resolutions to keep? Heck no! If I read 119 books, started a blog, mommed hard, taught hard, had a septoplasty, and visited four different doctors regularly in 2017, then 2018’s resolutions should be easy peasy lemon squeezy.

      (P.S. teaching a tiny Little Thing how to say easy peasy lemon squeezy was hilarious. I caught it on video circa three years ago. You’re welcome.)  

       

       

       

       

       

      Posted in books, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, fitness, reading, Uncategorized, writing, yoga | 0 Comments | Tagged books, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, lice, little thing, new year, new year's resolutions, reading, reading goals, writing, yoga
    • Reading Goal Achieved: 100 Books Read

      Posted at 11:02 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on November 2, 2017

      When I set a goal for myself to read 100 books this year, I didn’t know if I would succeed. But ta da! With two months to spare, I reached my goal on Sunday. Can I get a whoop whoop?

      How did I read 100 books before the end of October? I’m a bit mystified myself as to how I achieved this milestone, but the following list helped me achieve my goal (some might sound familiar from this previous post– Thirty Seven More to Go).

      1. For the most part, I don’t watch TV–except for Sunday morning NBC programming. I adore Willie Geist and Chuck Todd.
      2. My phone stays on silent. I have never been a phone talker. I was even slow to come around to the idea of texting during its advent and subsequent rise to ubiquity. And while I do peruse Facebook, Pinterest, and WordPress daily, I don’t spend hours on social media.  
      3. Although it took some coaxing, Little Thing is fairly independent, and I encourage her autonomy.  Yes, I stop and have dance parties, play games, craft, or bake with her. However, I refuse to stimulate her constantly.  
      4. I read when I can. When Little Thing has tumbling on Tuesdays, I read during her 45 minute class. I read while I’m waiting in primary school carpool, walking in circles around my kitchen, and waiting at the doctor’s office.  
      5. Fibromyalgia and Meniere’s disease has kicked my booty this year. Because of both diseases, my activity level has plummeted in comparison to previous years. If I can’t handle keeping myself upright anymore, I’m flat on my back with a book in my hand to dull the pain.
      6. I made a commitment by putting it in writing; therefore, I made it a point to carve out time.

      In hindsight, I probably could have read more if I hadn’t decided to start this blog. But this blog’s been fun and provided me with a place to vent, reflect, and grow.  

      Thank you to my friends who suggested books the past couple of months. I adored the books recommended to me, and because of them, October ended on a sweet note.  

      Now excuse me while I go bask in my goal achievement glory, resonating in imagined rainbows, sparkles, and cheers erupting firework style in the confines of my overactive imagination . . . and celebrate with another book and Thursday night wine.  

      Here’s my full list of 100 books. 

      (Once again, please forgive my formatting issue in May like in this previous post–Books Read: First Half of 2017; I cannot figure out how to fix it.)  

      January

      1. The Glass Magician (Book 2)–Charlie N. Holmberg
      2. Beautiful Ruins–Jess Walter
      3. The Probable Future–Alice Hoffman
      4. Here on Earth–Alice Hoffman
      5. Beautiful People (accidental reread)–Wendy Holden
      6. What She Knew–Gilly Macmillan
      7. The Girls–Emma Cline
      8. Commonwealth--Ann Patchett

      February

      1.  Mr. Mercedes (Bill Hodges Trilogy Book One)–Stephen King
      2.  Atonement–Ian McEwan
      3.  The Red Garden–Alice Hoffman
      4.  Finders Keepers (Bill Hodges Trilogy Book Two)–Stephen King
      5.  The Couple Next Door–Shari Lapena
      6.  A Man Called Ove–Fredrik Backman
      7.  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me–Mindy Kaling
      8.  The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper–Phaedra Patrick

      March

      1.  End of Watch (Bill Hodges Trilogy Book Three)–Stephen King
      2.  It Ends with Us–Colleen Hoover
      3.  The Vacationers— Emma Straub
      4.  Dark Matter-Blake Crouch
      5.  The Road–Cormac McCarthy
      6.  The Woman in Cabin 10–Ruth Ware
      7.  Why Not Me–Mindy Kaling
      8.  Yes Please–Amy Poehler
      9.  Red Queen–Victoria Aveyard
      10.  Today Will Be Different–Maria Semple
      11.  Pretty Girls–Karin Slaughter

      April

      1.  Heartburn–Nora Ephron
      2.  Glass Sword–Victoria Aveyard
      3.  We Need to Talk about Kevin–Lionel Shriver (accidental reread)
      4.  Big Magic–Elizabeth Gilbert
      5.  Modern Lovers–Emma Straub
      6. King’s Cage–Victoria Aveyard
      7.  The Underground Railroad--Colson Whitehead
      8.  The Sellout–Paul Beatty
      9. On Writing–Stephen King
      10.  Eligible–Curtis Sittenfield

      May

      38  Shotgun Lovesongs–Nickolas Butler

      1. The Color Purple–Alice Walker
      2.  Before the Fall–Noah Howley
      3.  You–Caroline Kepnes
      4. The Magicians–Lev Grossman
      5.  Nine Women, One Dress–Jane L. Rosen
      6.  The Forgetting Time–Sharon Guskin
      7.  Talking as Fast as I Can–Lauren Graham
      8.  Caraval–Stephanie Garber
      9.  The Expats–Chris Pavone
      10. Rich and Pretty–Rumaan Alam
      11.  Saving Grace–Jane Green
      12.  See Jane Run–Joy Fielding
      13.  The Sympathizer–Viet Thanh Nguyen

      June

      1.  Here’s to Us–Elin Hilderbrand
      2. Perfect–Rachel Joyce
      3.  Bittersweet–Miranda Beverly-Whitemore
      4.  Snobs–Julian Fellowes
      5.  The Fifth Petal–Brunonia Barry
      6.  Someday, Someday, Maybe–Lauren Graham
      7.  The Girl You Left Behind–Jojo Moyes
      8. The Lace Reader–Brunonia Barry
      9. The Avenue of Mysteries–John Irving
      10.  Vampires in the Lemon Grove–Karen Russell
      11.  One Plus One–Jojo Moyes
      12.  This Is How It Always Is–Laurie Frankel

      July

      1.  It Was Me All Along–Andie Mitchell
      2. Between the World and Me–Ta-Nehisi Coates
      3.  Annihilation–Jeff Vandermeer
      4.  In the Dark, Dark, Wood–Ruth Ware
      5.  Beartown–Fredrik Backman
      6.  Neverwhere–Neil Gaiman
      7.  The Uncommon Reader–Alan Bennett
      8.  I am Malala–Malala Yousafzai
      9. Bone Gap–Laura Ruby
      10. Crazy Rich Asians–Kevin Kwan
      11. The Shadow of the Wind--Carlos Ruiz Zafron

      August

      1.  Nutshell–Ian McEwan
      2. The Wonder–Emma Donoghue
      3.  The Solitary House–Lynn Shepherd
      4.  American Gods–Neil Gaiman
      5. A Conjuring of Light–V.E. Schwab
      6.  Are You Sleeping–Kathleen Barber
      7. It Happens All the Time–Amy Hatvany
      8. Bossypants–Tina Fey
      9. Pretty Little Liars–Sara Shepard
      10. The Wednesday Wars–Gary D. Schmidt
      11.  Flawless–Sara Shepard

      September

      1. Life After Life–Kate Atkinson
      2.  Perfect–Sara Shepard
      3.  Unbelievable–Sara Shepard
      4.  Rich People Problems–Kevin Kwan
      5. Into the Water–Paula Hawkins
      6. The Muse–Jessie Burton
      7. The Girls in the Garden–Lisa Jewell

      October:

      1. Every Fifteen Minutes–Lisa Scottoline
      2. The Devil in the White City–Erik Larson
      3. The Keeper of Lost Things–Ruth Hogan
      4. Every Last Lie–Mary Kubica
      5. Saints for All Occasions–J. Courtney Sullivan
      6.  The Keepers of the House–Shirley Ann Grau
      7. All Over but the Shoutin’—Rick Bragg
      8. The Lonely Hearts Hotel—Heather O’Neill
      Posted in books, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 5 Comments | Tagged 100 books, books, fibromyalgia, meniere's disease, reading, reading goals, writing
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