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    • My New Year’s Resolutions for 2021

      Posted at 10:36 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 9, 2021

      New year, new me, right?

      Ha! Ha! Ha!

      But I think I can handle these resolutions.

      1. Waste less food. I throw away an embarrassing amount of food. If anyone has any tips for this, please share. I can solve part of this with some thinking and research. But my ulcerative colitis, IBS, and fibromyalgia cause very weird, very real food issues, making me waste food too. My stomach hates food reheated in a microwave. I can taste food packaging and taste smells from stores, like for real; Costco meat tastes like plastic and what the inside of the store smells like. I can taste the difference between a bag of On The Border tortilla chips purchased at Walmart versus one purchased at Winn-Dixie or Rouses. If I eat food that’s been open for longer than a day, like a bag of chips or chicken stock, I’ll end up curled up in a ball of pain in my bed until the pain passes. Unless we order in, I cook every night, sometimes three different meals because why should Goose and Little Thing suffer? Is there an affordable meat delivery service that I’m unaware of? (And I’d love to eat less meat, but my body tolerates it. I can’t handle most protein alternatives.) Should I shop more frequently so things don’t go bad? I know wasting less food is going to be challenging with all my bizarre issues, but I’m really going to try.
      2. Hold my family more accountable for helping with household chores. I let them get away with it. I shouldn’t because feminism and shit. Look at this mind-boggling statistic from The National Science Foundation: “husbands create an extra seven hours a week of housework for wives, but wives save husbands from about an hour of housework a week.” WTF???? (Mind you, the data here is a little dated). It’s pretty damn obvious that women spend more time than men doing housework every day, but if you need proof, Today.com shared this tidbit from this study that confirms that “Women do 2 more hours of housework daily than men.” Again. WTF??? Little Thing is old enough to make her own lunch before going to school instead of watching her iPad after I wake her up. She’s still too short to reach several cabinets and hang up her own clothes, but I can definitely make her sweep up every night after dinner. 
      3. Start working out again. I have serious foot problems that have prevented me from truly working out for a couple of years. I love yoga, but how do you do yoga when you can’t even walk barefoot around the house anymore? I tried to get back into it before Christmas break, and icing my feet after and massaging them out with a rolling pin helped, but it wasn’t a panacea. Would yoga shoes help? I go for walks around the neighborhood and would like to jog, but if you see me walking around the neighborhood, it’s not in a true tennis shoe. Vionics have worked wonders for me, but both their tennis shoes and inserts don’t–at least for me. If anyone knows of an exceptional orthopedic tennis shoe that I should try, please let me know. 

      What are your resolutions friends? 

      Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments | Tagged new year, new year's resolutions 2021, new year's resolutions
    • Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions for 2020

      Posted at 12:02 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 11, 2020

      It’s that time of year! With our holiday travel, the new decade ushered in, and my 37th birthday (yikes!) over, I’ve found a moment to jot down my goals for 2020.


      1. Stop referring to myself as “Mommy” when conversing with Little Thing. 

      She’s seven. This is going to be a long-overdue, hard habit to break. Considering I’ve mostly conquered my spacing twice after a period at a sentence’s end habit, this resolution is attainable.

      baby yoda

      image credit


      2. Spend less time on social media. 

      Last month, I read Digital Minimalism:  Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport, which calls for deleting social media apps and points out that when Apple created the iPhone, the company never envisioned it becoming a pocket-sized, distracting mini-computer. While I won’t be deleting Facebook and Instagram, I do agree with his underlying argument. I’m monitoring my activity closely, even deleting distracting Facebook notifications and turning off email notifications.

      twitter-292994_1920 (1)


      3. Manage my stress better.

      A. My ulcerative colitis is barely managed right now. My medicine stopped working, and I’m a week out from an IBD specialist consult with a John Hopkins’ educated gastroenterologist. My UC stresses me out, and stress triggers flare-ups.

      B. I’ve got a new curriculum for one of my classes, and I have two preps. I’m existing like a primitive amoebic blob with mush for brains, crossing my pseudopods, I mean fingers, and hoping that everything works out in the end.

      C. My school district is building a new middle school, relieving overcrowding for my school and a neighboring one. To staff it, they’re taking teachers from both schools. What does this mean for me? Who knows, but it’s freaking me out! No matter what, it’s the last year I’ll be working with some of my coworkers, furthering my anxiety. 

      This all boils down to I’m a nervous wreck, and I need a way to cope. I’ve tried anxiety medicine before, but my fibromyalgia causes me to have exaggerated side effects with lots of medications. (For example, I tried to take half of a low dose muscle relaxer with my UC medicine last weekend, my rheumatologist assured me it would be okay, and I was a wet-noodled narcoleptic the next day.) I’m going to find some books on managing stress and look into therapy.

      elaine

      gif credit


      What are your 2020 resolutions friends?

       

       

       

      Posted in chronic pain, fibromyalgia, parenting, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, kids, new year, new year's resolutions, new year's resolutions 2020, parenting, teaching, writing
    • New Year’s Resolutions 2019

      Posted at 1:17 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 12, 2019

      I sucked to the ninth power at sticking to my 2018 new year’s resolutions.   

      Did I reacquaint myself with the Russian language? Nyet. Did I perform 365 days of yoga? Namaste no. Did I read less and write more? Bahahahahahahah! That’s rich, considering I read 136 books last year compared to 119 the previous year.

      At least I semi-mastered the art of not spacing twice after a period. I’ll take that as a minor success in the face of failing my previous year’s resolutions.

      Here are my 2019 New Year’s resolutions. (P.S. I always wait to start my new year’s resolutions until after my birthday, which is January 7th, hence the delay.)

      • Lose my foot injury weight. Remember all my foot issues from last February? I JUST got released from physical therapy last month, and at this point, I’m unsure if my foot will ever be 100 percent again. And listen, I’m used to being chronically ill, but foot injuries are a whole other pain animal. And because I spent 2017 hobbled, I packed on 15 pounds due to decreased mobility. Let me throw it at you like this: in 2017, I had about 4.2 million steps. Last year, I only had around 3 million. That’s the equivalent of not moving at all for three months last year as compared to the previous year. I walked . . . wait for it . . . 500 miles less last year than I did the previous year. Seriously. 500 miles less. Since my pain is now managed, I need to suck it up buttercup and lose the extra pounds. If anyone has any exercise suggestions for me, I’ll take them. Yoga’s off the table. My feet simply can’t handle it. I can’t run, plank, or lunge. No jumping jacks. The elliptical machine is a no go either. I might just have to briskly walk in my orthopedic, old lady footwear for cardio and then do modified pilates. Or suck it up and fork out the money for a personal trainer.
      • Read more diverse authors. I thought I was doing a decent job, but when I look at what I read last year, it’s not nearly as representative as it should be. Another book loving friend of mine shared a kick-ass premade reading log spreadsheet (find it here on Bookriot.com) with me that tracks all kinds of reading stats, including an option to help me keep tabs on author diversity. This spreadsheet is my new best friend.
      • Write the damn mini book reviews immediately upon finishing a book. This. Will. Happen. I’m four for four already this year. Go me! I’ve promised myself I can’t start a new book until I’ve written a review for the recently finished one. I’ve added a tab on my reading spreadsheet to keep them all in one place for easy fluffing up prior to publishing.  
      • Get “Baby Shark” off repeat in my head. Send help!   
      • Stop being a chicken and try to get a literary agent. I finished writing a children’s book last year. Have I done anything to try to get in published? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, does half-heartedly researching literary agents and sending it off to some friends for feedback count? I could have been using my foot injury downtime to make serious headway, but I’m terrified it’s not good enough and hid behind reading books instead. Putting it in writing here leaves me panic-stricken but holds me accountable. I’ll need all the happy thoughts I can get because I know rejection lurks around the corner. Rejection sucks, but it’s part of the process and will make me a better writer in the long run even if I never get published.

      Happy New Year to you and yours, and I apologize profusely for getting “Baby Shark” stuck in your head again. (You know you sang it to yourself at least once since I mentioned it.) I thought it would be a diversionary tactic to get it to ooze out of my head permanently.

      Sorry shark? Doo doo doo doo doo doo . . .

      pink shark toy

      Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

      Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, new year, new year's resolutions, read, writing
    • Mrs. Ram’s Jams Reading List for January and February

      Posted at 2:31 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 10, 2018

      books

      I am failing miserably at my New Year’s resolutions. (Read more here: Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions)

      One of my goals was to do yoga everyday, but my mangled foot and its bootiness has shattered that resolution.

      And while I declared writing was going to take precedence over reading this year, I knocked out 19 books from January to February, which is three more than I read in the first two months of last year.

      Old habits do die hard.

      At this point in the school year with summer in sight, it’s just so much easier to read and consume rather than write and produce. The third nine weeks student apathy that runs rampant through January, February, and March hits teachers smack in the face, too.

      It happens every year.

      Teachers, you know what I’m talking about–where your teacher brain declares anarchy mode–it takes an act of congress to force you to grade, lesson planning looks a lot like winging it, and you question your choice of profession daily.

      Anyway, here resides my third nine weeks coping mechanism (*cough cough* book list) for the first two months of 2018:

      January:

      1. The Art of Racing in the Rain–Garth Stein; This is a beautiful novel written from the point of view of a dog.
      2. I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons–Kevin Hart; I love funny books by funny people, and Kevin Hart is a funny person. Alas, this book was not that funny.
      3. The Stars Are Fire–Anita Shreve; Tightly written gorgeous sentences. Short. Romantical and different.
      4. A is for Alibi (Kinsey Milhone, #1)–Sue Grafton; Posthumously inspired read (R.I.P. Sue Grafton). A solid murder mystery.
      5. Artemis–Andy Weir; I’m glad I finally boarded the Andy Weir rocket. Not as good as The Martian, but it hits all the right science fiction buttons.
      6. Genuine Fraud–E. Lockhart; This was a YAL disappointment.  I loved Lockhart’s We Were Liars and frequently recommend it to my middle schoolers.
      7. Everything I Never Told You–Celeste Ng; I attempted this novel through audiobook and switched to a hard copy. I love Ng’s sentences and needed her succinct similes and punctuation on a page versus air. This heavy read about a teenage girl’s drowning and her self-involved parents highlight the pressures that parents unwittingly force on their children.
      8. Magpie Murders–Anthony Horowitz; For as highly rated as this murder mystery is, it fell short for me. There are two books in one here, and I’d rather read one book at a time, thank you very much.
      9. The Selection (The Selection, #1)–Kiera Cass; This book and whole series is YAL crack. I’m not the first person to describe it as The Bachelor meets the dystopian future, but that’s what it is. Even though I knew exactly where the plot was taking me and Cass relies too heavily on “chuckled” as a verb, I couldn’t help but be swept away and caught in a teenage love triangle.

      February

      1. The Elite (The Selection, #2)–Kiera Cass; more of above.
      2. The One (The Selection, #3)–Kiera Cass; more of above. I told you. Crack. Crack. Crack. And chuckled. Chuckled. Chuckled. So much chuckling happens in this series.
      3. Six of Crows (Six of Crows, #1)–Leigh Bardugo; This is legit. You miss Harry Potter? You love Game of Thrones? It’s neither of those but a little of both and like nothing you’ve ever read. And it’s YAL. (Okay, don’t get me wrong, it’s not Harry Potter, but it’s still a delight.)
      4. Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows, #2)–Leigh Bardugo; See above. More awesomeness in store.
      5. The Silent Wife–A.S.A Harrison; Ehhhh, not spectacular. I’ve read better –psychological thrillers.
      6. Emma in the Night–Wendy Walker; Better than The Silent Wife.
      7. The Martian–Andy Weir; A sci-fi gem. I love the thought of a sci-fi novel, but I often get lost in the science and space jargon that comets over my head. I didn’t feel like an idiot reading this book, and you can’t help but root for the narrator because his sense of humor is borderline middle school boy and mad genius.
      8. The Outcasts of Time–Ian Mortimer; Normally, reading a book about  time traveling across several centuries in England would tickle my fancy, but this book frustrated me.
      9. My Absolute Darling–Gabriel Tallent; Haunting. Compelling. Eight different kinds of uncomfortable every eight pages. But . . . the description, frequently gorgeous, can verge on pretentious with a hint of nausea rolled into the occasional rambling sentence.  If you can’t handle a daughter being verbally and sexually abused by her father and blatant, if not glorified, gun violence, then please don’t read this novel. But if you can stomach the aforementioned, then it is a solid four out of five stars. I might be reading YAL for the rest of the year to recover from it.
      10. The Heir (The Selection, #4)–Kiera Cass.  Not as good as the other The Selection crack, but crack is crack, y’all.

      What have you been reading to get you through 2018 so far?

      Or please someone enlighten me, how do you other teachers deal with the third nine weeks blues?

       

      Posted in books, reading, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, books, favorite books, new year's resolutions, reading, teaching, writing
    • Mrs. Ram’s Jams New Year’s Resolutions

      Posted at 9:06 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 11, 2018

      Because my birthday falls on January seventh, my New Year’s resolutions never appear prior to January’s second full week. I’m a firm believer of birthday indulgences. I refuse to let my birthday get in the way of resolutions; therefore, I wait to avoid failure.

      Because intentional failure is stupid.

      But unexpected failure happens all the time for me.

      For example in a moment of lice inspired weakness before Christmas break, I lamented to my principal that I’m an idiot, relinquished all knowledge, and begged her to be my life coach. In the hallway. Loudly. With students and other teachers around.  

      That, my friends, is failing at life.

      As is catching lice at nearly 35. 

      (For my lice debacles, check out these posts: A Little Thing Tale: Merry Licemas and A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: Happy Lice-a-Days)

      And I’m disconcertingly at peace with my spectacular fails.       

      Anyway, here are my resolutions.

        1. Read less. Write more. Instead of inhaling books at an alarming rate, I’m stepping back a notch. I’ll be just fine if I read 60 books instead of 119, allowing me more writing time. I’ve posted weekly since starting the blog, but often I’m scrounging around at the last minute trying to post something before my weekly Saturday self-imposed cutoff (because I’m caught up in a book). Writing is greater than reading in 2018.  
        2. Break the bad habit of spacing twice after a period. WHO KNEW THAT THIS IS NO LONGER A THING, AND HOW COME NO ONE HAS ALERTED THE MASSES??? Or were the masses alerted, and I missed it? Again, another life fail.  
        3. Do yoga everyday (barring contracting bubonic plague, botulism, or whatever more plausible virus is contaminating my middle school). I’ve done yoga everyday since November 13–that’s 60 days in a row! Might as well see if I can keep it up. I can already see the difference, and my back has NEVER felt better. My muscle inflammation is essentially nonexistent. On days that I know I can’t handle 30 minutes, I try to do a gentle 15 minute practice. On top of daily practice, I want to learn about yoga’s history, too.
        4. Brush up on my Russian. I was three classes short of graduating with a minor in Russian from the U of I. The department head, who I loved, left after my sophomore year and was replaced with a scary lady. By junior year, I was one of the few non Russian students. Feeling overwhelmed, I said dosvedanya and left the foreign language building’s basement. Fast forward a decade and I’ve forgotten everything I was taught except how to read it. (Okay that’s not true. The first full sentence from the Russian 101 textbook was лифт никогда не работает, which means “The elevator never works.” Why? Why was this the first thing I learned. Do elevators consistently refuse to work in Russia??? Also the Russian word for water is вода, pronounced voda. It’s. Only. One. Letter. Away. From. Vodka. Can I start calling water “wineter”? Do you think I can pull it off? Or is this a Gretchen Weiners-esque fetch pipe dream?) I dilly-dallied over relearning Russian last summer but was unwilling to fully commit. Rosetta Stone’s new best friend will be Mrs. Ram Jam this year. (Again, life fail. I’d like you to meet my future summer time best friend, Rosetta. I bought her for $179. She’s reteaching me Russian, and she’s not a real person.)
        5. Secret Resolution. Sorry! I’m being that girl.  

      Are these difficult resolutions to keep? Heck no! If I read 119 books, started a blog, mommed hard, taught hard, had a septoplasty, and visited four different doctors regularly in 2017, then 2018’s resolutions should be easy peasy lemon squeezy.

      (P.S. teaching a tiny Little Thing how to say easy peasy lemon squeezy was hilarious. I caught it on video circa three years ago. You’re welcome.)  

       

       

       

       

       

      Posted in books, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, fitness, reading, Uncategorized, writing, yoga | 0 Comments | Tagged books, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, lice, little thing, new year, new year's resolutions, reading, reading goals, writing, yoga
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