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    • Mini Book Reviews March 2020

      Posted at 9:28 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on April 4, 2020
      follow me
      dear edward
      fix her up
      invisible women

      Y’all. How’s quarantine going? I’m coping by baking things I can’t eat, soaking up the sunshine, and reading in long stretches. (Particularly soaking up the sunshine while reading in long stretches–if you figure out a way for me to effectively soak up the sunshine while baking things I can’t eat, holla at your girl.)

      I finally have some 2020 reads under my belt, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve read this year’s IT book already.


      • Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett–published 2019–contemporary fiction–three stars: I freaking love this title and cover, but the book disappointed me. Jessa-Lynn, a Floridian taxidermist, spends the book drunk, self-wallowing after her father’s death, and terribly dressed in dirty clothes. While the writing at times jumps off the page, in places it’s too purple and harps on plot events already established.

      Mostly Dead Things

      • Small Spaces (Small Spaces #1) by Katherine Arden–published 2018–middle-grade horror/fantasy–three stars: I loved Arden’s Winternight trilogy. I picked up this middle-grade read expecting to get the heebie-jeebies from this book à la Neil Gaiman Coraline style, but the scary factor tanked.

      Small Spaces (Small Spaces, #1)

      • Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano–published 2020–contemporary fiction–five stars: A boy named Edward is the sole survivor of a plane crash. The story weaves together his tale of recovery and the story of the victims’  lives in the hours before impact. While I’m normally not a huge fan of third-person omniscient narration because it’s executed so poorly so often, Napolitano is a master of the skill. Y’all. I heart this novel hard. It’s the best straight-up fiction read I’ve had since The Great Alone.  It’s for sure making my top three for the year. Get ready for this book to break your damn heart.

      Dear Edward

      • Followers by Megan Angelo–published 2020–dystopian/post-apocalyptic/contemporary fiction–four stars:  I love that over-reliance on smartphones and influencer scrutiny has started to make its way into contemporary fiction. There are two different stories here. The first is the story of two present-day influencers in the time leading up to a smartphone apocalypse. The second chronicles Marlow, a reality TV star who has a 24/7 following while she lives in a Truman Show-esque situation, in the future. The stories eventually come together, highlighting the shallowness of an overly-reliant digital world. 

      Followers

      • Things in Jars by Jess Kidd–published 2020–historical fiction/magical realism–three stars: There’s a ghost in love with a human, a mermaid-like child with weird teeth, and a mystery to be solved. Ummm it wasn’t terrible? But it could have been so much better.

      Things in Jars

      • Big Lies in a Small Town by Diane Chamberlain–published 2020–contemporary fiction–two stars: This has a pretty good rating on Goodreads, but I just didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Was it compelling? Yes, but 1) things came together too cleanly at the end and 2) the protagonist’s entire premise, she’s jailed wrongly for a DUI that she didn’t commit but gets released from jail early to restore a painting, is just absurd.

      Big Lies in a Small Town

      • The Education of an Idealist:  A Memoir by Samantha Power–published 2019–memoir–three stars: At first, I was totally engrossed by Power’s memoir. She tells of growing up in Ireland, her alcoholic father, her move to the US, and her work as a war zone reporter in the Balkans. But when she starts discussing foreign policy and her work for Obama, it gets a little thick with a whole bunch of people and places, making for cumbersome, technical reading. If you’re super into foreign policy, this read is for you. Oh, it’s about 100 pages too long as well.

      The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir

      • Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer #1) by Laini Taylor–published 2017–YA fantasy–four stars: Strange, yes that’s his last name, is a dreamer. He dreams of a lost city, and his dreams, well, I don’t want to ruin the book. I don’t know if I’ll continue to read this series. While disorienting at first, I regained ground as the story went on, but I hated its ending.

      Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer, #1)

      • Follow Me by Kathleen Barber–published 2020–thriller–three stars: Let’s face it. I keep reading thrillers even though they’re one of my least favorite genres. A social influencer named Audrey leaves New York City to start a new job in Washington DC. She reconnects with her BFF from college and a former boyfriend, both of whom live in the city. She posts her entire life online and one of her followers is following Audrey around for real in the city. I liked this novel better than Barber’s debut Are You Sleeping (now renamed as Truth Be Told) because the writing is more contemporary and interesting.  I disliked that every male in Audrey’s vicinity fell in love with her. I wasn’t a fan of the minor twist at the end. But . . . it was still a solid read–for a thriller.

      Follow Me

      • The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black–published 2013–YA vampire/urban fantasy–two stars: Okay, so, I think I’m going to stop reading any YAL that hasn’t been published in the past five years. This was pretty bad and disappointing considering how freaking awesome Holly Black’s more recent The Folk of the Air series is.

      The Coldest Girl in Coldtown

      • Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler–published 2007–memoir/humor–three stars: Funny in places, but dicey in others.

      Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

      • Ink and Bone (The Great Library #1) by Rachel Caine–published 2015–YA fantasy–three stars: A decent read for YA, and I might recommend it to students, but it is a bit forgettable.

      Ink and Bone (The Great Library, #1)

      • Fix Her Up (Hot & Hammered #1) by Tessa Bailey–published 2019–romance–four stars:  Yowza. Cute. Funny. And. Ahem. Steamy. I haven’t had this much fun reading a romance novel since The Hating Game.

      Fix Her Up (Hot & Hammered, #1)

      • Truly Devious (Truly Devious #1) by Maureen Johnson–published 2018–YA mystery–three stars:  So many of my students want to read good, contemporary mystery novels that are YA, but I haven’t found many. If you know of any (besides We Were Liars, One of Us Is Lying, and the Pretty Little Liars series), let me know. In this mystery, Stevie loves mysteries. She’s a true crime junkie. She applies to a prestigious school and gets in, hoping to solve a decades-old crime that happened there. Then. Gasp. Another murder happens, and she tries to solve it and manages to get oh so close, but the book ends essentially in the middle of the story, and you’ve got to pick up the next one to figure out what happens. This bounced around too much for me.

      Truly Devious (Truly Devious, #1)

      • Invisible Women:  Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado-Perez–published 2019–nonfiction/feminist literature/political literature–five stars: Hey, ladies and gentlemen. Read this book. It’s mindblowing. It will make you angry, but it’s utterly fascinating. It’s about how the world is designed for men (hence the title). Ever wonder why your smartphone is hard to work one-handed ladies? It’s because it’s designed for men. Ladies, ever wonder why you take medicine and it doesn’t work or experience side effects that aren’t listed? It’s because being female isn’t taken into account when doing most medical studies. Oh and that car you’re driving . . . don’t get me started. If you read only one nonfiction book this year, read this one.
      • Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men  

      As always, any discussion is welcome! And if you’ve read something fantastic recently, please tell me about it!

      (All cover art taken from Goodreads.)

      Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged ann napolitano, are you there vodka it's me chelsea, big lies in a small town, blogs, book reviews, books, carolini criado perez, chelsea handler, dear edward, Diane chamberlain, fiction, fix her up, follow me, followers, holly black, ink and bone, invisible women, jess kid, katherine arden, kathleen barber, kristen arnett, laini taylor, maureen johnson, megan angelo, memoirs, mini book reviews, mostly dead things, nonfiction, rachel caine, reading, romance novels, samantha power, small spaces, strange the dreamer, tessa bailey, the coldest girl in cold town, the education of an idealist, things in jars, truly devious, writing
    • A Coronavirus Poem: War Hands

      Posted at 11:53 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 28, 2020

      declaring war on my hands
      has left them raw–
      they’ve been scrubbed too hard with sandpaper
      and a wolf has chewed them bloody with its murderous maw

      COVID-19
      has corroded my hands by soaking them in gasoline

      I have war hands
      and it’s left me raw

      person holding a poster on proper hand washing

      Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

      Posted in poems, poetry, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, coronavirus, covid-19, hands, poems, washyourhands, writing
    • A Plea From a High-Risk Friend–Please Stay at Home

      Posted at 10:20 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 21, 2020

      Please stay at home.

      Your friends with underlying conditions, the immunosuppressed, and the elderly thank you for your efforts. 

      I am an immunosuppressed 37-year-old mother with underlying conditions–high-risk alert right here. Please stay home. I can’t help that my body attacks itself. It’s been this way since high school. Please help me out by staying home. 

      I know it’s not any fun, and you’re concerned about free will, your rights being limited, and a litany of other complaints—all of which might make you angry. But please set emotions aside for the time being and focus on facts and logic.

      As an English teacher, I teach my students to get their information from reliable, unbiased resources and to ground their arguments in facts, data, and logical reasoning. I also teach them to get information from experts. And while emotion is a powerful argumentative tool, it is, in fact, weak on its own. Even though emotions are real and important, they can mess up judgment. 

      Ignoring the CDC, WHO, Dr. Fauci, and governmental recommendations are illogical choices because they are the experts providing facts. 

      And here’s a fact, one that I’ve already stated. I am one of those people they consider high risk. Why?  

      I have three autoimmune diseases. THREE! 

      One:  Meniere’s disease. 

      Two:  Ulcerative colitis 

      Three: an undiagnosed disease my rheumatologist monitors me for

      Number two concerns me particularly because I was hospitalized for it in February. My colon hates me. This flare, unfortunately, coincides with a pandemic. Lucky me. 

      Because my colon is broken, I am on two immune-suppressing drugs. TWO! Prednisone, which I’m on for two more weeks, and tacrolimus–an organ transplant rejection medicine. Prednisone, an anti-inflammatory, is bad news according to the CDC. I get to take these drugs during a pandemic. Lucky me. 

      Also, those malaria drugs that doctors are testing as possible treatment for coronavirus–guess what? I’m allergic. Last year, I was prescribed hydroxychloroquine (Plaquenil) for autoimmune disease number three and broke out in hives six weeks into treatment. So again, lucky me. (I want to reiterate the term “possible treatment.”)

      Please stay at home because it shows empathy–which is ONE thing that we need more of in this world and another thing that I try to teach my students. This pandemic isn’t about you–it’s about all of us. 


       

      ONE final thought:

      Please stop sharing coronavirus information via memes and unverified Facebook posts. Consider the information’s source. I am readily reading my doctor friends’ Facebook posts and trust their expertise, but if I were to share that information to you, then you share it to Facebook Karen, then Facebook Karen shares it to Facebook Chad, then how does Facebook Chad know an actual doctor wrote that post? In this scenario, the information is accurate, but lots of posts shared this way are fake or spreading wrong information–with no way to verify the author’s authenticity. Before hitting the share button, confirm the post’s reliability. Try to share information from trusted sources instead of second hand. 

      Posted in meniere's disease, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 3 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, coronavirus, covid-19, highrisk, ibd, immunosuppressed, invisible illness, meniere's disease, pleasestayathome, politics, ulcerative colitis, washyourhands, writing
    • My Favorite Post-Apocalyptic Reads

      Posted at 9:12 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 14, 2020

      Are you stuck at home in an effort to flatten COVID-19’s curve?

      Do you need a break from Netflix, Hulu, and Disney Plus?

      If you’re anything like me and like to make some reading choices based on current events, then you might be desperate for a good post-apocalyptic read to further terrify yourself while you’re social distancing.

      Here are my favorites, ranked. There are zombies. Viruses. Technology plagues. Aliens. There’s a little bit of everything on this list. And some of them don’t quite fit the genre, but they’re close enough for me.

      1. The Stand by Stephen King. Five stars. One of my favorite books of all time.

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      2. The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Five stars. Chilling and haunting.

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      3. Bird Box by Josh Malerman. Four stars. The sequel comes out this year! Can’t wait.

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      4. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Four stars. A very funny end of the world read.

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      5. Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. Four stars. A traveling band of Shakespeare performers? Yes, please!

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      6. Followers by Megan Angelo. Four stars. Technology gone wrong. Timely. Also, this is totally a guilty pleasure read.

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      7. The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker. Four stars. I reviewed this book last month. Check it out here.

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      8. The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells. Four stars. Classic!

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      9. The Passage by Justin Cronin. Three stars. I was totally into this book, but it is really long. Some of you might really enjoy this read though.

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      10. The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey. Three stars. I didn’t like Carey’s writing style, but this is a good zombie story.

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      (All cover art taken from Goodreads.)

      Any ones I missed that I need to add to my TBR?

      As always, any discussion is welcome!

      Posted in books, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged apocalypse, apocalyptic, apocalyptic books, bird box, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, cormac mccarthy, emily st john mandel, fiction, followers, good omens, hg wells, josh malerman, justin cronin, karen thompson walker, megan angelo, mr carey, neil gaiman, post apocalypse, post apocalyptic, post apocalyptic books, reading, station eleven, stephen king, terry pratchett, the dreamers, the girl with all the gifts, the passage, the road, the stand, the war of the worlds
    • PSA About Student Attendance

      Posted at 9:54 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on March 7, 2020

      Friendly (Albeit Possibly Unpopular Opinion) Parent Reminder PSA from Mrs. Ram Jam:

      Please send your kids to school. 

      Your kids have one job–it’s called school. Please send them to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      For the most part, your kids are not professional athletes, actors, reality stars, or gamers. They should not miss multiple days a school year for travel soccer, baseball, cheer, badminton, Fortnite competitions, Scrabble tournaments, or auditions. 

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      There are multiple opportunities for extended holidays throughout the year–like summer vacation, Christmas vacation, Thanksgiving vacation, spring break, fall break, and various three day weekends. Check the school’s calendar before you schedule a vacation during the school year. A two-week European tour, ten-day Walt Disney World excursion, or seven-day Caribbean cruise while school is in session is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being. 

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      Furthermore, it’s unethical to get doctor’s excuses for athletic competitions, auditions, and vacations. Your children tell us where they were or their classmates do. Your Instagram story even tells us where they’ve been. Also your actions, if you’ve partaken in these instances and even gotten a doctor to write you excuses for them, scream privilege.

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      Also, try to schedule doctor, dental, orthodontal, and therapy appointments for after the school day or during elective classes. When you schedule a biweekly appointment to get your child’s braces adjusted on Mondays at 8:00 A.M., your child is missing the same class or classes each time, which is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being. 

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      Please send your kids to school on time. If your child checks in late two or three days a week, they are missing the same class each time, which is detrimental to your child’s academic well-being.

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice.

      Why do I care so much?

      1. Absences add up. Kids get sick. Family members pass away. Kids break bones. Kids get lice. Say your kid gets the flu and misses five days of school, but then you turn around and take them to Disney two weeks later for four days during the school week. Then your kid misses five more days because of travel soccer. Then your kid gets food poisoning in March and misses three days. That’s 17 absences for the school year. 17. 17. 17. That’s more than three weeks of school.
      2. An excused absence is still an absence. 
      3. It sends the wrong message to your kid and their classmates. Is your child more important than the other students? Why does your kid get to miss so much when the other students don’t? The students notice, and they talk about it. 
      4. It hurts your child academically. They have a ton of work to make up, and they miss the benefit of actually being taught the material and classroom discussions. According to attendanceworks.org, “research shows that missing 10 percent of the school, or about 18 days in most school districts, negatively affects a student’s academic performance. That’s just two days a month.”
      5. It hurts their teachers and their schools. There. I said it. I’m being selfish. For once. If you don’t send your kid to school, and your kid doesn’t grow the way the state expects him/her to grow by the end of the year, it affects my scores, my evaluation, and my paycheck. It affects the school’s scores and bottom line too. Your actions affect the community at large. 

      I’m not trying to be all sanctimonious here. Have I pulled Little Thing out of school to go on vacation before? Yes. For one day. One day. Not five in a row. Are two days acceptable? Sure! Let your kids play travel ball and go on auditions and miss a Friday or two during deer season. But more than two days? Multiple times a year? That’s sketchy. 

      Strive for no more than ten absences. The fewer the absences the better. 

      Please send your kids to school. Unless they’re sick, there’s a death in the family, they’ve recently broken a bone, or they have lice. 

       

      Posted in kids, teaching, Uncategorized | 11 Comments | Tagged blogs, school, schools, student attendance, students, teaching
    • Mini Book Reviews February 2020

      Posted at 10:13 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 29, 2020

      This slideshow requires JavaScript.


      Even though February is a short month, I crammed in thirteen books. While I’ve yet to read any books published in 2020 (due to my library not having any), I read some fantastic backlist books this month. Here are my mini book reviews.


      A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum–contemporary fiction–published 2019–three stars: This novel follows three Arab women from the same family but of different generations as they live in Brooklyn. I desperately want to love this book, but I teach middle schoolers who have better narrative techniques than I saw demonstrated here.

      a woman

      Refugee by Alan Gratz–middle-grade historical fiction–published 2017–four stars:  Three different children in three different parts of the world in three different time periods share their refugee experiences. The tales are grounded in real historical events, but the main characters, sensationalized and contrived, detract from the stories. This is still an excellent middle-grade read.

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      Fallen (Fallen #1) by Lauren Kate–YAL fantasy–published 2009–one star: Terrible. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. I can’t even try to summarize it for you because I don’t want to relive one word from it. Books like this give YAL a bad name.

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      Skyward (Skyward #1) by Brandon Sanderson–YAL sci-fi–published 2018–four stars:  Who wouldn’t want to read a sci-fi version of Top Gun but with a female protagonist, spaceships, and a mushroom-obsessed AI? It’s pretty funny in places, too. The writing isn’t out of this world, but the plot is a galaxy worth of fun.

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      A Curse So Dark and Lonely (Cursebreakers #1) by Brigid Kemmerer–YAL fantasy–published 2019–four stars:  If you need a modern-day retelling (which is normally not my Ram Jam) of Beauty and the Beast, stop what you are doing and pick up this book.

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      The Coddling of the American Mind:  How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff–nonfiction/current events–published 2018–four stars:  You’ve probably heard about this book (originally a shorter piece published in The Atlantic a few years ago) if you keep up with politics and current events. Lukianoff and Haidt discuss how the way we raise our children, the emphasis of feeling over logic, and shifting free speech norms on college campuses are stifling rhetoric in a place that’s supposed to value it. I don’t agree with everything they have to say (They come at this with a male perspective and are a bit insensitive about rape, rape culture, and feminism. They also minimize intersectionality and microaggressions.), but they make some interesting points. And isn’t the whole point of this book to be able to make an argument, back it up, and have conversations about it–like adults–whether you agree with them or not?

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      The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker–science fiction–published 2019–four stars:  Call The Mamas & the Papas because there is some “California Dreamin'” going on in this book. Seriously. A small California town gets inflicted with a viral sleeping disease and goes under quarantine. Or maybe I should sing  “wake up kids/ we’ve got the dreamer’s disease”? New Radicals anyone? Anyway, ’twas a good read for me.

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      Swear on This Life by Renee Carlino–romance–published 2016–two stars:  I thought to myself, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. I should read a love story. So I did, and I wasn’t impressed. Emiline, a writer, reads a much-buzzed-about novel only to discover it’s her personal coming of age story told by the ex-love of her life. You get to read a mediocre novel within a very mediocre novel if you decide to read this book.

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      The Way of Kings (The Stormlight Archive #1) by Brandon Sanderson–fantasy–published 2010–five stars:  All hail to the kings! I’m in love with this high fantasy tome; it clocks in around 1,000 pages. It’s got just enough magic, world-building, and storyline for fantasy lover perfection. The writing itself isn’t spectacular, but its other elements more than makeup for some narrative holes. For example, I had a hard time picturing how the bridge runners placed the bridges across the Shattered Plains’ plateaus. Also, Sanderson overuses the words “carapace” and “pupate.”

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      Deep Work:  Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport–productivity/nonfiction–published 2016–three stars:  I think I would have liked this read more if I hadn’t already read Newport’s Digital Minimalism. He argues that in order to get deep, meaningful work done, you need to go offline, be unreachable, and dedicate uninterrupted chunks of time. He criticizes open work areas (I wholeheartedly agree with this.), multi-tasking, email mindset, and several other habits that infiltrate the modern workday. I got aggravated with this book for three main reasons. 1. I will never get deep work done at work because of the way my public school day is structured. I further feel like students can’t get deep work done because of habitual classroom distractions.  2. Again, just like The Coddling of the American Mind, this is a very male-oriented book. He talks about how he was able to get all of this work done while he had a young child. Well, Cal, what was your wife doing? Was she getting any deep work done? In the book, there are several examples of successful men who get deep work done while the only female example that I can remember is J.K. Rowling. 3. This is a book of privilege. I’m sure there are plenty of non-middle and non-upper class workers out there busting their asses who would like to perform deep work but don’t have the time, money, or help to do so.

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      Teach Like a Pirate:  Increase Student Engagement, Boost Your Creativity, and Transform Your Life as an Educator by Dave Burgess–education/nonfiction–published 2012–three stars:  I already knew everything presented to me in this book, and the information is dated at this point. Burgess is inspiring though.

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      Starsight (Skyward #2) by Brandon Sanderson–YAL sci-fi–published 2019–three stars: Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll continue this series. The beginning is rushed and confusing. Lackluster writing permeates the pages. The cliffhanger doesn’t compel me to read on. Overall, this was a disappointment. Guess which words make several appearances again? (If you guessed “carapace” and “pupate,” then you are correct.)

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      The Eyre Affair (Thursday Next #1) by Jasper Fforde–fantasy–published 2003–three stars:  In this bizarro England, Thursday Next, a member of a special task force in charge of crimes against literature, seeks a villain who’s kidnapping major characters from literary masterpieces and finds herself read into Jane Eyre. At times, this novel can be hard to follow because if you’re not hardcore into British literature, allusions will go over your head.

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      Women Talking by Miriam Toews–contemporary fiction–published 2019–three stars:  For years in a Mennonite community, supposed demons raped women of all ages while they slept. When it’s discovered that a group of men are responsible for the violent crimes, the women must decide to stay or leave their settlement. (This is based on a true story.) I liked the way this was written, but I found it boring.

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      (All cover art taken from Goodreads.com) 


      As always, any discussion is welcome!

       

      Posted in books, Uncategorized, writing | 3 Comments | Tagged a curse so dark and lonely, a woman is no man, alan gratz, backlist books, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, brandon sanderson, brigid kemmerer, cal newport, cursebreakers, dave burgess, deep work, etaf rum, fallen, fantasy, fantasy reads, fiction, greg lukianoff, historical fiction, jasper fforde, jonathan haidt, karen thompson walker, lauren kate, middle grade, mini book reviews, miriam toews, nonfiction, reading, refugee, renee carlino, sci fi, science fiction, skyward, starsight, swear on this life, teach like a pirate, the coddling of the american mind, the dreamers, the eyre affair, the stormlight archive, the way of kings, thursday next, women talking, writing, YAL
    • Why I Love and Hate Teaching Romeo and Juliet

      Posted at 3:34 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 22, 2020

      Psssttt. Here’s a secret. This English teacher hates Romeo and Juliet more than the Montagues and Capulets loathe each other. (I know. Gasp. Shocked emoji face. Call Karen in HR and fire me right now.) And because it’s entrenched in the freshman canon, I will never escape its overtly romantical clutches as long as I am teaching English I. 

      Why do I hate Romeo and Juliet and teaching it?

      1. Romeo, a whiny lover boy ruled by his teenage emotions, is my least favorite Shakespeare character. I spend the entire time wanting to smack him and talk some logic into him. 
      2. Benvolio sucks too. Whenever something big happens on stage, Benvolio summarizes the just-happened events for new-to-the-scene characters. 
      3. The way Romeo and Juliet talk to one another makes me gag. Love stories aren’t my Ram Jam. 
      4. The students harp on the fact that Juliet is 13 and never recover from it. They also debate Romeo’s age endlessly (The text never gives it.). They talk about this the ENTIRE time we’re reading. 
      5. It’s full of sexual innuendo, and I teach middle school. Need I say more? 
      6. I’d much rather tackle The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest, Twelfth Night, Othello, or Macbeth. 

      And while I do lather on the Romeo and Juliet hate thick, I love teaching it for almost the same reasons I despise teaching it.

      1. I take my hate and shout it from the desktops from the beginning. It’s simple really. I let the kids know I hate Romeo and Benvolio. I don’t tell the students why. I string them along and build interest to hook them, revealing tidbits here and there why I hate Romeo and Benvolio as the acts unfold. I use my Romeo hate to teach characterization. I use my Benvolio hate to teach summarizing. I make my hate passionate, fun, and refreshing instead of letting it bring my lessons down. Frequently, the kids hate Romeo too, and we bond through our mutual dislike. 
      2. Even though it’s a love story and the ooey-gooey language makes me cringe, I appreciate the poetry. We analyze the heck out of the figurative language and poetic structure of Romeo and Juliet’s dialogue. For example, when Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time, they actually start rhyming together in their religious imagery-filled banter and wind up creating a shared mini sonnet, which is pretty freaking cool from a structural standpoint. 
      3. The kids relate to the teenage emotions running rampant throughout the text even though they pretend that all of the kissing mortifies them. We discuss why it’s important to not be ruled by emotions and how to consider situations logically. 
      4. The kids have zero knowledge of Elizabethan theater and England before they start reading and are fascinated by what they learn. The fact that it was illegal for women to act so men played all the parts blows their minds. They’re horrified and enthralled when they discover women could get married at twelve years old and were sometimes married to much older men. They have no concept that modern medicine did not apply back then, women often died in childbirth, and child death rates were high. They’re floored when they realize Nurse was Juliet’s wet nurse and that the word nurse etymologically stems from a Latin word meaning “to nourish.” 
      5. On the day we start Act I Scene 1, I tell them Shakespeare is a dirty old white guy to prepare them for the puns and hook them into the play. You might find this method a little shocking, but have you read this play? It’s full of inappropriate jokes, and while it might have gone over your head when you were in high school, my kids understand what they’re reading. If I didn’t prepare them for the dirty jokes, my lesson could crash and burn in a million different ways. They appreciate being treated like adults. When I handle it this way, it minimizes the puns, and we’re able to focus on the storyline and the structure. 
      6. Even though Romeo and Juliet isn’t my favorite play, I love Shakespeare and theater. I’m able to channel that love into a play I hate (My only love sprung from my only hate! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.). I’m in my element when I’ve got the bard and a script in front of me, and the students see the best me when this unit rolls around each year. 

      drama-312318_640

      What are some texts you hate but you have to teach? I’d love to hear! I’d also love to know why and what you do to combat your hate to make interesting lessons. 

       

      (Also, another shocker, I’m not a huge fan of To Kill a Mockingbird—but that’s a whole other blog post.)

       

      Posted in books, poetry, reading, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 5 Comments | Tagged benvolio, blogging, blogs, drama, english teacher, i hate romeo and juliet, juliet, plays, poetry, reading, romeo, romeo and juliet, shakespeare, teaching, teaching shakespeare, writing
    • An Ulcerative Colitis Tale: What I Learned During My Hospital Stay

      Posted at 2:54 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 8, 2020

      Hey! For those who missed it, I spent three nights in the hospital due to an ulcerative colitis flare. 

      I’d tried telling two different doctors at various times throughout January that my medicine stopped working, but nobody listened to me. 

      For a week before I was admitted, my doctor’s office ghosted me. I called. I emailed. Nothing. No answer. Radio static. (Long story here. If you want more details, call, text, or inbox me.)

      I felt like Demi Lovato singing “Anyone” at the Grammys.

      Turns out, shocker, that my colitis had spread further into my colon, and I needed a blood transfusion to replace the blood I had lost. 

      Because. Nobody. Listened. To. Me. Seriously. 

      Ugh.  

      But I won’t get into the entire story right now because:

      1. I’m still really upset.
      2. it should have never happened.

      Because. Nobody. Listened. To. Me. 


      Enough of the negativity. Here’s what I learned during my hospital stay.

      1. Beware the pretty pills. My nurses ooohhhhhed and awwwwwed over a lovely, jade-colored pill, presented to me in a tiny plastic cup. We never get to see colorful pills! Look how pretty! They said. All we ever see are plain-colored pills! Considering the sheer number of medicines overwhelming my system, I missed all the warning signs that this “pretty green pill” was the Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge. After achieving mind-blowingly high status twice in four hours, I, slurring my words, accused the nurses of slipping me roofies and refused to take more. Unfortunately, my mother called both times I was baked, and I had to hang up on her. Sorry Mom! Also, if you texted me while I was drugged, and I promised I would steal you some roofies too, come see me later. (Just kidding!!!!) kylie(gif credit)
      2. If you spill your water all over your bed, you don’t get a new bed; you get put on a puppy pad.  I felt properly shamed. Don’t worry. At least they didn’t try to stick my nose in it . . . IMG-3067
      3. Teacher expectations are ridiculous. Sorry. Here’s the negativity again. What was I doing before getting a blood transfusion? Typing up emergency lesson plans. Posting student instructions on Google Classroom. Trying to line up a sub for the next day–while I had IVs in both arms. Just to make sure my students weren’t given short shrift by my emergency absence. How insane is that? Read what I just wrote again. Insane. Utterly insane. If you are outside the education field, I don’t think you’ll ever understand the pressures that teachers face. My absence also created more work for my immediate grade level team members, and thank you, 8th-grade team, from the bottom of my heart for helping. IMG-3058
      4. I am officially a vampire. I’ve got someone else’s blood running through my veins! Call me Bill Compton! Edward! Dracula! Bunnicula! Waiittttt. Why are the great vampires all dudes? I need to rectify this, Le-stat! You can address me as Rampire. It has a nice ring to it. (My brother, on the other hand, thinks this equates me with a mosquito, not a vampire, and I’ll need a reinforcement coven to convince him otherwise.)vampire(gif credit)
      5. Never doubt the medicine of a good laugh. Two of my friends came to visit, made me laugh the entire time they were there, and brought me this hysterical card. IMG-3083My bestie from high school sent me these flowers with this funny card. IMG-3065C57F1915-7247-4A06-B492-E77A5159C50CAnd the Facebook-requested memes and videos brightened my days. Here’s my favorite gif that I received during my stay. IMG-3064(Sorry not sorry for the crass humor. This is hilarious.)

      And while humor helps, what happened to me is no laughing matter. If you suffer from any illness, whether invisible or visible, you are your own best advocate. You are the only person who knows what the pain feels like, and if doctors aren’t listening to you, keep speaking up–even if it feels like nobody is listening to you. 


      (I respect all doctors, and I am not doctor bashing here, friends. This came down to ineffective communication within a doctor’s office and between doctors’ offices and medical bureaucracy. What happened to me could have been prevented. I’m just relaying how unnervingly unheard I was.) 

       

      Posted in chronic pain, teaching, ulcerative colitis, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, chronic illness, chronic pain, hospital, hospital stays, humor, ibd, inflammatory bowel disease, invisible illness, poop jokes, teacher, teaching, ulcerative colitis, writing
    • Mini Book Reviews January 2020

      Posted at 12:27 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on February 1, 2020

      Even though January lasts eons, I look forward to reading in January each year. In December, I peruse the best-of-the-year book lists that permeate book lovers’ blogs and throw their favorites on my January TBR. I end up reading a few fantastic books at the beginning of every year.


      Wilder Girls by Rory Power –YAL horror–published 2019–two stars:  Under quarantine because of a slow-moving, fatal disease called the “Tox,” an all-girls school battles with the fallout. Even though the premise is fresh, Power failed to create a single likable character. Because of plot holes, the characters starved for no plausible reason. However, the cover is badass. I still can’t stop looking at it.

      wilder girls

      Because Internet:  Understanding the New Rules of Language by Gretchen McCulloch–nonfiction–published 2019–five stars:  This. Book. Is. Fascinating. As a self-proclaimed word nerd who loves learning about etymology, I couldn’t put this book down. Who wouldn’t want to examine the history of how the internet has influenced the English language’s evolution? Who wouldn’t want to learn about text tone of voice, the history of emojis, and the Unicode Consortium? Plus, McCulloch’s comedic word-nerd voice radiates throughout. Take away? Stop judging informal writing as if it were formal. Texting and social media writing will never follow standard English.

      because internet

      The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw–YAL fantasy–published 2018–two stars:  Three sisters, killed for their supposed witchery 200 hundred years ago, come back every summer to haunt the seaside town responsible for their demises. They drown unsuspecting teenage boys to take their revenge. Disclaimer–the adult supervision in this town is nonexistent. The parents allow the teenagers to throw a massive beach party on the night of the witches’ reappearance even though there are drowning deaths every summer? Come. On. A girl goes missing during this time, and the teenagers hold her hostage. The adults neglect to search for the missing girl. Ugh. Now, I admit, I missed a plot twist, but I’ll blame that on the muscle relaxer I took the night I read the book.

      the wicked deep

      The Chain by Adrian McKinty–crime/thriller–published 2019–three stars:  A divorcée and breast cancer survivor named Rachel is finally getting her life back on track when two people kidnap her daughter Kylie from the school bus stop. This is no normal kidnapping. Rachel gets a phone call demanding ransom and that she must kidnap and hold another child hostage to get her own daughter released. The people who kidnapped her daughter received the same phone call and instructions, and this process goes back years like a chain letter. Forced into a terrible position, Rachel and her family face death if they break “the chain.” The plot is inconceivable. Have everyday Joes become mastermind kidnappers at the drop of hat and not get caught nor go to the police? No chance. I found parts of the prose contrived. For example towards the novel’s end, McKinty explains the metaphor of the chain. Mind blown emoji. Don’t explain the metaphor McKinty! You know better. I guess I’m just in desperate need of a good thriller because this genre consistently fails in impressing me.

      the chain

      Night (The Night Trilogy, #1) by Elie Wiesel–memoir–published 1956–five stars:  Considering my aversion to World War II historical fiction and nonfiction, it shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve eschewed reading this memoir for years. However, Wiesel’s austere prose gutted me.

      night

      Normal People by Sally Rooney–contemporary fiction–published 2019–four stars:  Connell and Marianne, high schoolers who come from different backgrounds, fall for each other, hiding their relationship from their friends and their families. Their toxic relationship follows them to college. I disliked Connell and Marianne but liked this novel.

      normal people

      The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow–YAL fantasy–published 2019–four stars:  January, raised by a rich armchair archeologist, pines for a grand adventure. One day she discovers a door, walks through it, and finds herself in another world. Her guardian then destroys the door. Once she discovers there are more doors leading to millions of other worlds, her hero’s journey begins. The magical, wistful, and carefully chosen words shine on the page, creating a glorious fairy tale.

      ten thousand

      Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah–contemporary fiction–published 2019–five stars: Trying to resume her ornithology research after a health setback,  Joanna rents a cabin in Southern Illinois to conduct her studies and to help her heal. One night, a little girl appears, and Joanna enlists her reclusive neighbor to help solve the mystery of the scared, intelligent girl. I. Could. Not. Put. This. Book. Down. If you enjoyed Where the Crawdads Sing, you’ll love this book; it’s better than Crawdads. It has more humor and more heart while being less dense.

      where the forest

      The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern–fantasy–published 2019–five stars:  I held off on picking up this book for two reasons. 1. It’s lengthy. 2. I reread Morgenstern’s Night Circus last year, and to my horror, couldn’t explain why I thought it phenomenal upon first reading. As a result, I thought this book would waste my time. A few book reviewers who I respect critically panned this book while others loud capped their approval. Morgenstern’s sophomore novel is more concrete, vivid, and literary than her first. Much like the above-reviewed The Ten Thousand Doors of January, the plot focuses on doors leading to other worlds and the doors’ widespread destruction.

      the starless sea

      Get a Life, Chloe Brown (The Brown Sisters, #1) by Talia Hibbert–romance–published 2019–three stars:  The titular protagonist faces chronic pain, moving from her family home to prove her independence. As soon as she unpacks her flat, she gets the hots for her building’s super hot super. Against her better judgment, she asks him to help her cross off items from her “get a life” list. Chloe has fibromyalgia, the same disease I suffer from. Brown does a decent job describing its symptoms and the day-to-day difficulties those symptoms create, but that does not outweigh this romance novel’s mediocrity.

      get a life

      Do I Make Myself Clear? Why Writing Well Matters by Harold Evans–nonfiction–published 2017–three stars:  Believe me, Harold Evans, a well-respected British editor, would judge my writing. While I found a few of his insights valuable–particularly the importance of writing a clear sentence, he’s a self-described language purist and abhors English language evolution. Parts of this book are simply old-school grammar textbook lists of things like common word usage mistakes. He also t-charts poorly written passages of a wide variety of genres with his commentary of its weaknesses. These parts made me feel like I was trying to wade through terribly constructed student work, resulting in my head wanting to explode. Read a different book if you want writing tips.

      do i make myself clear

      The Cactus by Sarah Haywood–contemporary fiction–published 2018–three stars: Even though Reese Witherspoon is a national treasure, her book club picks are literary trash. I”ve yet to read one I’ve rated higher than a three. The Cactus is a lesser Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine. The plot twist exposed itself within the books’ first quarter.

      the cactus

      Ava and Pip (Ava and Pip #1) by Carol Weston–middle grade–published 2014–four stars:  Ava, a writing loving elementary schooler, tries to help her painfully shy older sister Pip find her voice. Little Thing and I enjoyed this read.

      ava and pip


      What did you read in January, friends?

      As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on these books if you’ve read them!

      (All cover art is taken from Goodreads.com)

       

      Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged adrian mckinty, alix e harrow, ava and pip, because internet, blogging, blogs, book reviews, book reviews january, books, carol weston, do i make myself clear, elie wiesel, erin morgenstern, fiction, geta life chloe brown, glendy vanderah, gretchen mcculoch, harold evans, middle grade, mini book reviews, night, nonfiction, normal people, reading, rory power, sally rooney, sarah haywood, shea ernshaw, talia hibbert, the cactus, the chain, the starless sea, the ten thousand doors of january, the wicked deep, where the forest meets the stars, wilder girls, writing, YAL
    • A Teacher Poem: Buzz Words

      Posted at 11:17 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 25, 2020

      begin with the end in mind, AKA backward design
      Common Core and 504
      ELL, STEM, and IEP are not absentee (But if they were, you’d have to let them make up the work, for sure.)
      collaborate and debate
      Claim retired, and its replacement is assertion; try teaching that to little persons.

      rigor
      response
      reflection
      rubric
      will point you in the right (write?) direction

      facilitate with fidelity; provide actionable feedback . . . (but don’t call in sick unless you’re having a heart attack)
      Is your summative assessment warm or cold? (Grab a blanket–so we’re told.)
      flip the classroom; personalize learning (to get their brains churning)

      What’s the objective? 
      Does it align with the standards?
      How does the curriculum get them college and career ready?

      Scaffold.
      Differentiate.
      Rigor.
      Peer conversations.
      Rigor.
      Text complexity.

      Rigor.
      Rigor.
      Rigor.

      Build relationships. 
      Rigor.
      One to one.
      Rigor.
      Lexile.
      Rigor. 

      Rigor.
      Rigor.
      Rigor.

      TRIGGER WARNING

      The kids still find it boring.

      And by week’s end, the only buzz words we care about are Tito’s, tequila, and Tanqueray (with honorable mentions to happy hour and chardonnay).

      close up photo of person holding wine glass

      Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

      Posted in poems, poetry, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, english teacher, humor, middle school teacher, poems, poems about teaching, poetry, teacher, teaching, teaching middle school, writing
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      • Teaching Fail: When Acronyms Backfire February 20, 2021
      • A Teacher Tale: A Rant About Cheating in Digital Classrooms February 13, 2021
      • January 2021 Mini Book Reviews February 6, 2021
      • A Poem: Mistake January 30, 2021
      • A Teacher Tale: The English Teacher Who Hates to Read Aloud January 23, 2021
      • Defund the Grammar Police January 16, 2021
      • My New Year’s Resolutions for 2021 January 9, 2021
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