Mrs. Ram's Jams

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• New Year’s Resolutions 2019

  Posted at 1:17 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 12, 2019

  

  I sucked to the ninth power at sticking to my 2018 new year’s resolutions.   

  Did I reacquaint myself with the Russian language? Nyet. Did I perform 365 days of yoga? Namaste no. Did I read less and write more? Bahahahahahahah! That’s rich, considering I read 136 books last year compared to 119 the previous year.

  At least I semi-mastered the art of not spacing twice after a period. I’ll take that as a minor success in the face of failing my previous year’s resolutions.

  Here are my 2019 New Year’s resolutions. (P.S. I always wait to start my new year’s resolutions until after my birthday, which is January 7th, hence the delay.)

  • Lose my foot injury weight. Remember all my foot issues from last February? I JUST got released from physical therapy last month, and at this point, I’m unsure if my foot will ever be 100 percent again. And listen, I’m used to being chronically ill, but foot injuries are a whole other pain animal. And because I spent 2017 hobbled, I packed on 15 pounds due to decreased mobility. Let me throw it at you like this: in 2017, I had about 4.2 million steps. Last year, I only had around 3 million. That’s the equivalent of not moving at all for three months last year as compared to the previous year. I walked . . . wait for it . . . 500 miles less last year than I did the previous year. Seriously. 500 miles less. Since my pain is now managed, I need to suck it up buttercup and lose the extra pounds. If anyone has any exercise suggestions for me, I’ll take them. Yoga’s off the table. My feet simply can’t handle it. I can’t run, plank, or lunge. No jumping jacks. The elliptical machine is a no go either. I might just have to briskly walk in my orthopedic, old lady footwear for cardio and then do modified pilates. Or suck it up and fork out the money for a personal trainer.
  • Read more diverse authors. I thought I was doing a decent job, but when I look at what I read last year, it’s not nearly as representative as it should be. Another book loving friend of mine shared a kick-ass premade reading log spreadsheet (find it here on Bookriot.com) with me that tracks all kinds of reading stats, including an option to help me keep tabs on author diversity. This spreadsheet is my new best friend.
  • Write the damn mini book reviews immediately upon finishing a book. This. Will. Happen. I’m four for four already this year. Go me! I’ve promised myself I can’t start a new book until I’ve written a review for the recently finished one. I’ve added a tab on my reading spreadsheet to keep them all in one place for easy fluffing up prior to publishing.  
  • Get “Baby Shark” off repeat in my head. Send help!   
  • Stop being a chicken and try to get a literary agent. I finished writing a children’s book last year. Have I done anything to try to get in published? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, does half-heartedly researching literary agents and sending it off to some friends for feedback count? I could have been using my foot injury downtime to make serious headway, but I’m terrified it’s not good enough and hid behind reading books instead. Putting it in writing here leaves me panic-stricken but holds me accountable. I’ll need all the happy thoughts I can get because I know rejection lurks around the corner. Rejection sucks, but it’s part of the process and will make me a better writer in the long run even if I never get published.

  Happy New Year to you and yours, and I apologize profusely for getting “Baby Shark” stuck in your head again. (You know you sang it to yourself at least once since I mentioned it.) I thought it would be a diversionary tactic to get it to ooze out of my head permanently.

  Sorry shark? Doo doo doo doo doo doo . . .

  

  Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

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  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, new year, new year's resolutions, read, writing

• Book List: Mini Book Reviews for December 2018

  Posted at 12:48 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on January 5, 2019

  
  

  

  

  

  

  

  Because I struggle getting into the Christmas spirit (Yes, I detest most Christmas music and refuse to decorate prior to Black Friday.), I figured my Scrooge-laden soul could benefit from some holiday reads in December.

  I binged Elin Hilderbrand’s holiday series Winter suggested by a Facebook friend, and it did inspire me to be less bah humbug-ish. Promise. Don’t believe me? I played Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” while hanging ornaments and adorning the fireplace mantle with fake poinsettias and glittery snowflakes. Huzzah! The Ram-a-grinch’s holiday heart grew a seasonal three sizes. It has since returned to its nonholiday appropriate size.

  Here’s what I read in December with some mini reviews thrown in. (One of my new year’s resolutions is to write my mini reviews as soon as I’m done reading the books. It’s just too hard to write them a month after I’ve read them anymore, especially when some of the books are part of a series read in succession. Be prepared for some cop-out reviews.):

  • The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert–YAL; Despite some negative Goodreads reviews, I really enjoyed this fantasy novel.
  • Winter Street (Winter #1) by Elin Hilderbrand–contemporary fiction
  • Winter Stroll (Winter #2) by Elin Hilderbrand–contemporary fiction
  • Winter Storms (Winter #3) by Elin Hilderbrand–contemporary fiction
  • Winter Solstice (Winter #4) by Elin Hilderbrand–contemporary fiction; These books chronicle Kelley Quinn, the owner of Winter Street Inn on Nantucket, and his flawed adult children, his Santa cheating wife, and his CBS news anchor ex-wife Margaret Quinn during the Christmas season. It’s dishy, dysfunctional, and soap opera-esque. While a total guilty pleasure, I did give the last book four stars because by the end of the series I loved these crazy characters.
  • Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari–nonfiction; Harari’s portrayal of the human race’s history is sweeping and mind-boggling. He starts at the beginning of human evolution and then tackles the agricultural revolution, imperialism, industrialization, and capitalism (to name a few). His logic is thought-provoking, and you might not agree with everything he has to say. While I understand the limits of covering humankind’s history in a 443 page book, I thought it was neglectful of him to essentially ignore the historical implications of how women have been treated. Despite this, Sapiens earned a spot on my top twenty reads of 2018. (Side note: The world conspired against me reading this book. I had it on hold for two months, it came in while I was out of town over the summer for two weeks, so it got sent back. Then I placed it on hold again and waited eons for it. Chunks of pages were falling from the binding when I finally got my hands on it, and the library took it out of circulation upon its return.)
  • Vicious (Villians #1) by V.E. Schwab–YAL
  • Vengeful (Villians #2) by V.E. Schwab–YAL; The Shades of Magic Series by Schwab is one of my favorite fantasy reads ever so I had to pick up this young adult series by her as well. The first one left me a bit underwhelmed. Victor and Eli’s story begins in college, where they discover the ability to become extraordinary–by killing themselves and then coming back to life. Eli awakens from death with regenerative powers while Victor can cause pain. They end up nemeses and more nefarious than heroic, picking up a motley crew of extraordinaries along the way. The second book more than made up for the slow pacing of the first, and I ended up rating the second four stars.
  • The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy–suspense/mystery; Ummmm, it’s okay? I keep reading suspense even though most of it is less than stellar in hopes that one will finally wow me with brilliantly written prose. Am I asking too much from this genre?
  • Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage–horror/thriller; A nonverbal little girl, who idolizes her daddy, fantasizes about killing her mother and then tries to do so. It’s fucked up, but I was never genuinely scared during this book. It alternated between both Suzette’s (the mother’s) and Hanna’s (the daughter’s) perspectives. The more I read, the more I dislike authors trying to narrate from the “now” perspective of children; in this case, Hanna’s perspective is over-developed and the diction too rich for that of a seven-year-old.
  • So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo–nonfiction; Read it. Digest it. Then, like Oluo beseeches, stop talking about it and start taking action. It’s a must read, making my top three of books read in 2018.
  • Gunpowder Moon by David Pedreira–Science Fiction; I liked Pedreira’s style, but in the midst of all the science fiction jargon, it was hard to keep track of the characters and the plot.
  • Dear Martin by Nic Stone–YAL; Much in the same vein as Angie Thomas’s The Hate U Give, Justyce, an ivy league bound African American student who goes to a mostly upper class white school, witnesses the gun death of his best friend by an off-duty white police officer. Throughout the novel, Justyce writes letters to Martin Luther King, Jr., explaining the everyday microaggressions and full-blown racism he faces from society, ultimately writing rhetorical questions as an outlet for his frustrations. This is joining my recommendation list for my students.
  • Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay–nonfiction: I had published my top twenty books read in 2018 before I read this novel, and dammit, I would add this book to it if I could. I love Gay’s personal critique of feminism, and her essays are the shit. Her writing style is enviable. Slapping me in the face, her sentences left me raw and awakened the bad feminist in me too. Also through close examination, she offers cinematic and literary critique of women’s tropes and race portrayal in artistic mediums.

  As always, any discussion is welcome, and I’m always taking recommendations.

  Happy New Year. My resolutions post is slated for next week.

  (All cover art taken from Goodreads.)

   

  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 3 Comments | Tagged bad feminist, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, dear martin, read, reading, sapiens, so you want to talk about race, the hazel wood, the perfect mother, vengeful, vicious, winter street, writing

• Top Twenty Books 2018

  Posted at 12:19 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on December 29, 2018

  

  

  (All book art taken from Goodreads.)

  As per requested, here are my top twenty reads of the year.

  I’m currently sitting at 132 books under my belt and am hoping to hit 135 before year’s end. Not only did I read more than I did last year, but I made an effort to read more nonfiction. And because I’ve already reviewed most of these books on this list, I’m taking the laziest route possible and not re-reviewing them. (Please feel free to check out my previously posted book reviews. Next week’s post will be reviews of my reads from December.) However, I did rank them from most favorite to not-my-favorite-but-still-really-good.  

  1. The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah–five stars–published 2018–historical fiction
  2. Uprooted by Naomi Novik–five stars–published 2015–fantasy
  3. So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo–five stars–published 2018–nonfiction
  4. Ready Player One (Ready Player One, #1) by Ernest Cline–five stars–published 2011–science fiction
  5. The Bear and the Nightingale (Winternight Trilogy, #1) by Katherine Arden–five stars–published 2017–fantasy
  6. The Girl in the Tower (Winternight Trilogy, #1) by Katherine Arden–five stars–published 2017–fantasy
  7. Six of Crows (Six of Crows, #1)  by Leigh Bardugo–five stars–published 2015–fantasy/YAL
  8. Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows, #2) by Leigh Bardugo–five stars–published 2016–fantasy/YAL
  9. Stardust by Neil Gaiman–five stars–published 1999–fantasy/YAL
  10. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari–five stars– published 2011–nonfiction
  11. The Martian by Andy Weir–five stars–published 2011–science fiction
  12. Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say by Kelly Corrigan–five stars–published 2018–nonfiction/memoir-ish
  13. Furiously Happy:  A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson–five stars–published 2015–nonfiction/memoir-ish
  14. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones–five stars–published 2018–contemporary fiction
  15. Red Rising (Red Rising, #1) by Pierce Brown–five stars–published 2014–science fiction
  16. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal–four stars–published 2017–contemporary fiction
  17. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain–four stars–published 2014–nonfiction
  18. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn–four stars–published 2006–mystery/thriller
  19. Circe by Madeline Miller–four stars–published 2018—fantasy
  20. Less by Andrew Sean Greer–four stars–published 2017–contemporary fiction

   

  As always, I’d love to hear what you have to say about these books if you’ve read them. Cheers!  

   

  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged best books 2018, blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, reading, top twenty, top twenty books

• A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Holiday Tale: Llamas We Have Herd on High

  Posted at 10:47 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on December 21, 2018

  

  On Wednesday, I had to holler at a student, “Stop waltzing with my llama!”

  He had snatched my dusty rose colored giant stuffed llama, gifted to me earlier in the week by another student, from her on-top-of-the-filing-cabinet home and was slow dancing with her in front of the other students as they wandered in and found their seats.

  [Meet Rubert, Rue for short. She came pre-christened with a fancy bow.]

  

  Chaos ensued.

  A member of the peanut gallery questioned, “Is waltzing a real word?”

  A heckler joked, “Why did the llama cross the road? To get away from Mrs. Ram.”

  “Spell waltz for me. Are you SURE it’s a real word?”

  “Mrs. Ram, have you ever eaten llama jerky?” a different kid asked.

  I sol-llama-emnly swear ridiculousness like this happens all the time.

  And it’s my own damn fault.

  My teaching schtick is a well-balanced art of whimsy, silly, and that-teacher-is-quite-possibly-a-psychopath-I-question-her-stability. However I upped my own ante this year and decided to incorporate my love for the word llama into my teaching persona by decorating my classroom in llamas and purchasing a spit ton of llama t-shirts to wear to school. My favorite one reads: Comma Llama. #englishteacher.

  Because why the hell not? And have you walked into a store recently? Llamas are freaking everywhere. Plus, Fortnite has introduced loot llamas, sundry filled llama piñatas, so even middle school boys get fired up about llamas. (When the kids first told me about loot llamas, I thought they meant lute llamas. I was like why would there be a llama playing a lute in a video game, but a llama piñata filled with bonus items makes a bajeebus load more sense.)  

  And because of llama paraphernalia proliferation and my revamped llama themed classroom, I have been fed a hearty diet of llama loot the entire month of December.

  It started innocently enough. A girl in my first block walked in on a Monday morning and handed me a pair of fuzzy llama socks. They’re woolly nice. (I couldn’t help myself. That was too easy.)

  Then, the next morning another girl showed up with a STUFFED. LLAMA. HEAD. For me. To cherish forever and ever. It’s flat on the back–for easy wall mounting like a taxidermied deer head. Our teacher coach affixed her to my podium with a 3M hook.  

  I named her Rama-Llama Ding Dong. Isn’t she gorgeous?

  

  Other llama gifts include: a journal, a pillow, a porcelain container, a Texas Aggies shirt, and three more pairs of socks. One of the pairs of socks were given to me with chocolates, which inspired me to break out in an extemporaneous song aptly entitled “Chocolates and Llama Socks” sung to the tune of “Five Little Speckled Frogs.” I mortified the gift giver, and now, much to my glee, I have students who I don’t even teach belting the lyrics in the hallways and asking me to sing it for them.

  

  And I can’t forget about this card; it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  

  I’m fairly certain this was by far the best teacher gift Christmas ever, but I am a little disappointed that nobody showed up with a real llama for me for Christmas.  

  Maybe, I’ll wake up on December 25th and discover that Santa left me one in my backyard.  

  A girl can dream, can’t she?  

  

  (GIF taken from https://giphy.com/gifs/llama-1081l2F7uGjkK4)

   

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 5 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, english teacher, llama, loot llama, teaching, writing

• A Mrs. Ram’s Jam Attempt: Six-Word Story Challenge

  Posted at 12:21 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on December 15, 2018

  

  There’s no time like the present, the week before school lets out for Christmas break, to attempt the six-word story challenge.

  Which one do you like best?

  1. Doesn’t study. Takes test. Fails. Stunned.
  2. He Snapchats, “You’re ugly.” She’s shattered.
  3. Is there extra credit? Teacher cackles.
  4. She sips, savors, spills the coffee.
  5. I knew nothing and everything, once.

  Now, Mrs. Ram Jam needs to scram and go grade exams.

  Just kidding. I’m going to drink Sauvignon blanc out of a Christmas coffee mug and stare at the wall until it’s time for bed because my brain is mush. Cheers.

   

   

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, six word story, six word story challenge, teaching, writing

• A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Tale: A Teaching Fail and Student Cheating

  Posted at 9:10 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on December 8, 2018

  

  I’m not a perfect teacher.

  Earlier this week, I gave a two day test to my English I Honors students, giving them extra time for the assessment’s writing component. Instead of having them pause the test to continue the next day (to try to discourage cheating), I had them submit their test digitally at class’s end and reopened it the following morning. However, I forgot when they submit their answers through our online testing platform it automatically tells them which multiple choice questions they answered incorrectly. [insert Mrs. Ram Jam whacking her head repeatedly against a cinder block wall]  

  So what happened in first block when I reopened the test? Remembering the question numbers marked incorrect, quite a few of them changed those wrong answers to correct ones.  

  Instead of squashing cheating, I inadvertently allowed it to run rampant. I suspect at least 65 percent committed academic dishonesty–with no way to prove who did or didn’t change their answers.

  Repeat–I’m not a perfect teacher.  

  I’m mad at myself for my screw-up and disappointed with my students.

  But if I hadn’t caught myself after first block, would the same thing have happened all day?  

  Hopefully I’m wrong, and this is pure speculation, but yes. In subsequent blocks when I informed kids they couldn’t change their previously chosen answers, I saw open hostility, embarrassment, and shame on more than a few faces. (I also witnessed cluelessness. It hadn’t crossed some of their minds.)

  Newsflash!

  Students aren’t perfect, even the high-achieving ones.

  They turn things in late.  

  They lie about having their homework done.

  They try to figure out how to do the least amount of work possible and still get high grades.

  They’re children.

  They attempt to manipulate adults to their own advantage and pander to their own desires in oft convincing self-righteousness.

  And also, most students at some point, again even high-achieving, good kids, cheat.

  Look at the numbers.

  In Andrew Simmons’s Edutopia article “Why Students Cheat—and What to Do About,” he uses a bar graph to illustrate  “95 percent” of students in secondary schools “admitted to any form of cheating, 64 percent committed plagiarism, and 58 percent cheated on a test.”

  

  Now granted, I teach 8th grade, but I teach a high school credit honors course to middle schoolers. My class is HARD. Kids, used to getting easy A’s, struggle and make C’s and B’s on tests and writing assignments. They’re desperate for an A, even if comes down to achieving one through unethical methods.

  I am not excusing their behavior or my own teaching faux pas, but through self-reflection, I’ve garnered a few valuable insights.  

  1. I don’t know if all students initially recognized that their behavior was unethical. They’re smart. They saw their incorrect answers and changed them before resubmitting and didn’t think twice about it. But some had to realize their actions were disreputable. Thursday, we had a serious conversation about what happened and what the term “ethics” means. Not one student could define it when I asked them what it meant, but they know its definition now. That entire class faces consequences, including a brand new replacement test. I made them feel guilty as hell about their actions. I pulled a Danny Tanner and flipped their transgressions into a teachable moment.  
  2. I need to stop being so nice. I gave them too much time to complete the test, and if I give them an inch, they take a mile. The test should have taken them 60 minutes tops. They had to read three passages, answer 18 multiple choice questions, and write a paragraph. For benchmark, they’re expected to do the same thing but write an essay instead in 90 minutes. My reasoning behind giving them extra time was to allow them to focus in on the writing component so we could work through any constructed response issues they had before benchmark. I wanted them to do well on the test, thinking the extra time would help my struggling writers. But some students were not honest with actually being done when they fully were.  
  3. My expectations were unclear. This one hurts. I should have told them that the twenty minute window on day two was only for the writing component and the multiple choice needed to be finalized on day one. Hindsight sucks.
  4. I admitted my own mistake to them, and I’m admitting it to you. Yes, I did. I told them I screwed up. I think it’s important for students to see their teachers admit when they are incorrect, acknowledge their own mess-ups, and examine their imperfections. Again, I’m not perfect. No teacher is. Sometimes my lessons bomb. Sometimes, God forbid, my self-made materials have editing errors. Sometimes, I don’t pronounce words correctly and accidentally say things like “more better.” I haven’t read everything under the sun, I don’t have all of the answers, and I am not always right–but I admit when I’m wrong, I’ve messed up openly, or I could have done something better. They’re under so much pressure to be perfect, and the adults in their lives need to show them that perfection doesn’t exist and is an unattainable ideal.

  Now I have to ask  . . . if you were put in their situation as a middle schooler, would you have cheated?

  Because I sure of hell would have. [Loud gasp! How dare you, Mrs. Ram Jam!]  In middle school and high school, I copied my peer’s homework or let them copy off me. Senior year, I plagiarized a Spanish IV paper the week before graduation, submitted it, and got caught, justifying my behavior because I felt wronged by my teacher. (If you’re reading this Señora Blakenship, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.)

  If you’re judging me for my confession, look at the statistics above. Chances are, you cheated at least once in some capacity yourself, whether you’re willing to confess it publicly or not.

  And your child will probably, too.

  It’s an epidemic, and I have no idea how to battle it. (Besides not releasing answers BEFORE a test is over. I will FOREVER be kicking my own ass over this one.)

   

  Works Cited:

  Simmons, Andrew. “Why Students Cheat-and What to Do About It.” Edutopia, George Lucas Educational Foundation, http://www.edutopia.org/article/why-students-cheat-and-what-do-about-it.

   

  Posted in kids, teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged academic dishonesty, blogging, blogs, student cheating, students, teacher fail, teaching, teaching fail, writing

• Book List: Mini Book Reviews for November 2018

  Posted at 1:02 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on December 1, 2018

  
  

  

  

  I love and loathe writing my monthly mini book reviews. For one, it’s a gimme post. I always know what I’m going to write the last week of every month. But conversely, writing reviews are hard–even if they are mini!

  This month I did KIND OF keep my promise that I’d pen reviews as soon as I finished a book. By KIND OF, I mean I wrote the first two reviews immediately upon book completion–but then slacked off on reviewing the rest until last night.

  Also, it was a bit of a slow reading month for me.  I started two books, A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult and The Clockmaker’s Daughter by Kate Morton, that I ended up quitting because I couldn’t get into them.

  ---

  • Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis:  Please don’t hate me, but I wasn’t a huge fan. I much prefer The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Is it just me, or do lots of these self-help books fall prey to promoting the author’s brand?
  • Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn:  Camille Preaker, a cub reporter at a mediocre Chicago newspaper, unwillingly gets sent to her Missouri hometown to cover the grisly murders of two girls. While investigating the homicides, Camille stays with her disquieting mother and off-putting yet beautiful teenage half sister in Camille’s too perfect childhood home, uncovering the truth of her past in the process. Too frequently, I read thrillers that neglect to create a specific mood besides suspense; however Flynn’s graphic, unsettling diction flayed me and left my arms in gooseflesh. This novel disturbed me; I absolutely loved it.
  • The Alice Network by Kate Quinn:  A work friend who adores historical fiction recommended this book to me. It’s a true-ish story about women spies during World War I. Even though I found it bingeable, it teetered on inconceivable poetic justice-like plot events.
  • Stardust by Neil Gaiman: Gaiman. Is. A. Fantasy. God. It’s the shit. That is all.
  • Elevation by Stephen King: King eschews horror in this novella and tells the tale of Scott Carey, a man who’s quickly losing weight but not showing it outwardly. It’s a plainly written story, highlighting the importance of friendship and community.
  • Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine:  In an effort to read more middle grade books, I snagged Ella Enchanted off a library shelf. What a cool take on the Cinderella story for girls! At birth, Ella gets cursed with obedience by a seemingly well-meaning fairy. Ella spends her days trying to fight commands given to her by others but ultimately has to do the curse’s bidding, which leads her on quest to break the curse.
  • Bring Me Back by B.A. Paris:  Bring Me Back screams predictable, formulaic mystery novel lacklusterness, but it’s frustratingly readable. Read Sharp Objects instead if you crave literary merit.
  • Clock Dance by Anne Tyler: In the throes of an empty nest, Willa Drake finds new meaning in life when she answers a call to care for a little girl, whom she’s never met, while the girl’s mother recovers from a gunshot wound. Tyler’s been writing novels for over 50 years; why has it taken me this long to pick up one of her books? I ranked this a four out of five stars on Goodreads only because I disliked the book’s last page.

  As always, discussion is welcome! And does anybody have any holiday book recommendations for me?

  (Book cover art taken from Goodreads.)

  Posted in books, reading, Uncategorized, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, book reviews, books, read, reading, writing

• A Mrs. Ram’s Jams Teaching Woe: Grading Papers over Thanksgiving Break

  Posted at 1:07 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on November 24, 2018

  

  In previous posts, I’ve declared I don’t grade at home, but I’ve just proved myself a liar.  

  During this Thanksgiving break, I’ve spent at least 10 hours grading four class sets of five-paragraph argument essays. And I’m not even done yet. Ten more essays wait in my backpack. Hours ago, my resolve to knock them out crumbled like an overbaked Christmas sugar cookie.

  So why exactly am I stuck grading for hours while I’m on vacation?

  1. I can’t get ahead this year. No matter what I do, my workload just increases. For starters, I have two different preps. Then for major writing assignments, I allow students to revise for better grades, so I’m constantly regrading. I’m also battling with finding time to reteach skills to students who need extra help, respond to parent emails, analyze data, etc. I barely found time to start grading these essays last week at work, so I took them home over the break in an effort to not feel so overwhelmed at school on Monday.  
  2. It’s taking me longer to grade because the grammar is cringeworthy. Y’all. It’s that bad. Run-ons are an epidemic. Rambling is the norm, and the awkward syntax is fascinating, horrifying, and soul-crushing. I’m either choking down sentences that make no sense, or drowning in independent clauses comprised of millions of tiny words that say nothing. Normally, I could grade all these essays in seven hours, tops. But essays written with poorly constructed sentences are more time consuming for me to grade, and an inordinate number of them fall into this category. Why? Why? Why? P.S. When did the random capitalization of common nouns become a thing?     

  Whew. I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent. Now does anyone want to grade those last ten essays for me so I can relax with the latest Jodi Picoult novel? Pretty please?  

  Posted in teaching, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, teacher problems, teachers on break, teaching, writing

• Mrs. Ram’s Jams Take on the Daily Writing Prompt “Sequester”: The Sea Quester

  Posted at 1:55 am by Mrs. Ram Jam, on November 17, 2018

  

  I can’t say it enough–thank goodness for writing prompts.

  ---

  A pair of gannets wafted on a dying breeze towards the roughly hewn ship’s deck.

  The near absence of wind distressed the captain. Violent waves and chilling gales eased his seafaring mind while on a quest. Instead, he heard a susurrus of undulating water, whispering, whimpering, whittling at the wooden brown hull of his vessel to join ship.

  Like the twilight dissolving into true night, disquiet settled upon him.

  Placing his right hand in the pocket of his woolen, double-breasted coat, he fingered the talisman that had sparked this adventure. The amulet’s amber stone warmed and began to swirl within its silver casing. He didn’t need to see its reaction to know he was close to achieving his boon. It pulsed a faint, orange glow once while it read his thoughts.

  In tandem, the gannets, sensing the supernatural, let out strangled squawks and ascended into the crisp night on black-tipped wings, abandoning their pilfered shad.  

  Sequestered once again, the captain shuddered against the night, the sea, his quest.  His leaden fingers fumbled at fastening the tin buttons of his coat, a desperate attempt at protecting him from the evil that lay ahead.  

  

  Posted in Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, daily word prompt, mini short stories, sequester, writing

• A Poem: I Can Vote to Veto

  Posted at 6:41 pm by Mrs. Ram Jam, on November 6, 2018

  

  I can vote to veto
  hate and fear-mongering politicos,
  a refusal to aid and abet upper-echelon manifestos.

  You can vote to veto
  whatever tickles your own toes,
  a fair bet to ensure your own democratic say-so.

  But please don’t vote to veto
  empathy,
  it’s absence begets and kowtows to a discordant symphony.

  

  Posted in poems, poetry, Uncategorized, writing | 0 Comments | Tagged blogging, blogs, poems, poetry, political poems, politics, writing

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